I don't mean to but I constantly compare everything Tyler is to everything Jamie wasn't.
I can tell, even though I have only been courting Tyler for 6 months, he is the one. I have know him for over a year.
He loves Lilly. He doesn't care if she isn't his, he treats her better then a natural father ever could.
Lilly lives Tyler. She is constantly telling me she wants so see Tyler. It's very difficult for me to not let her call me mama, and him daddy, but I know Tyler loves me and I him.
Daddy is constantly telling me how much he likes Tyler and how he can tell he's the one for me and how he is so much better then Jamie.
I know that no matter what I do, Tyler will always love me. He wouldn't care if Lilly was actually mine.
It's very hard to know that someone is the one for you and not just jump in and marry him like that. I now realize how hard it is not to hold his hand, hug him, kiss him even. I never noticed that. But I also know how much it helps you, controls you.
I don't see Tyler everyday like I did Jamie. He lives only ten minutes away by walk and five by car but I know it's better to not see him everyday. Mom said I will probably be engaged before long.
I'm going on a date with Tyler tonight. Im not going to bring Lilly tonight. Tyler doesn't care if u bring her or not so every other time I do usually.
"Hey Jana! You look great!" He says giving me side hug. Today Jessa and Ben are "double dating" with us.
We go to an Italian restaurant and get pasta. We say out for a LONG time, and didn't want to leave but the restaurant was going to close in ten minutes.
We go to get ice cream after and come home at 10:30.
I love our dates.
The end. New chapter coming soon!
In Christ,
Rylee
