South Park Lemons

Stan x Reader

You groaned, why couldn't you get anyone to ever flirt with you, it was like whenever you flirted with someone they would play along, then when you walked away to grab a drink, you would come back and they would book it in the other fucking direction.

It was frustrating and meant you couldn't fulfill your needs.

Stupid, cock fuckers. Maybe you should just go to a gay bar and get picked up by a chick or a bi. You heard they were always fun to screw around with, maybe a drink and a date. Mostly a fuck.

You groaned again, why can't you just find someone? It seemed you would have to do it yourself, you didn't like to do it yourself. Even with a toy, not like you owned one anyway, but it would have to work for tonight.

You would do it later, you had a long day at that damn lecture. You wanted to get something to eat and unwind. You treaded to the fridge, your bare feet making soft thuds against the cool tile of the heated apartment.

You grabbed a microwavable personal pizza, what? You were a terrible cook, like most normal college students. Even the culinary students ate them. Though you guessed it was because they cooked everywhere and were burnt out by the time they got home.

You poured yourself a coke and pulled the pizza out of the microwave as it dinged, you hummed in delight. Food~ you loved it within the limit of obsession. How you remained even decently thin shocked you and everyone you knew.

You held your plate between one hand and your hip. Your phone screamed Breaking Point by Aiko Kiyunne through the apartment as wind howled through the thin glass windows. Your eyes glanced to the window, you guessed it was just another blizzard. Sometimes living in South Park could be such a pain in the ass.

"Yello!" You called out, answering the phone.

"Hi (Y/N), are you free?" Stan's voice invaded the quiet speaker of the phone, you smiled fondly upon hearing his voice.

"Hey! Is that (Y/N)?" The familiar voice of Kenny slurred in the background. You laughed.

"Yes, Kenny. How are you doing?" You hear jostling on the other side as well as whispered protests.

Kenny's voice is clearer now, obviously winning the fight over the phone. "Stan has a boner for you~ Can you fix him so we can get on with our night?" You laugh even harder.

"Yeah, when he walks his lazy ass over here and asks for me to have sex with him, like a real man, not a pussy, I'll fuck him. Got it?" You hear him laughing.

"Damn it Kenny!" You realize the phone was on speaker and smirk. Maybe you could get him to finally fuss up and say he wants you. God knows Wendy gave him a hard enough time. Even if it was for a night you would treat him right.

Of course if it was only a night he would have to get a pizza and maybe a beer. You didn't just fuck boys for the sake of screwing them. You had some class, maybe some loose standards, but they were there as a guideline.

You weren't a slut, guys can like sex and get a pat on the back, girls like sex and get labeled whore, or white trash. You rolled your eyes. Big whoop, say what they wish, it was something you enjoyed every now and again, reading and doing.

"You still there (Y/N)?" You got stuck in your fantasies, your core throbbed. You silently shifted. No need to let the boys know you were horny. God knows the shit you would get for that.