Unmitigated - HP Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty-Five - Despondent

  I sat down in the hot water in the tub of our dorm room. My skin was rough from the dry tears I once shed and my eyes were swollen. I had just stopped crying because I couldn't cry anymore. I have completely worn myself out. Dumbledore came by and told me I didn't have to attend classes the next day because I am in mourning. Turns out he knew I have a pack. I don't know how, but I'm not going to question it.

Speaking of the pack, I'm going to have to talk to them tomorrow. I need to tell them I can no longer be their alpha. I mean, it's obvious I can't look after them. They'll have to find someone else to protect them.

There was a knock at the door. "Ella? It's me. I brought breakfast for you before I left for class. I'm going to leave it at the door. Okay?" The voice of Daphne echo through the bathroom from he other side of the door.

I look at the door and let a tear slide. "Y-yeah. Sure. N-no problem. Thanks" I stutter.
I hear her footsteps fade and the door close. I look down and pull my legs to my chest and sit in the foetal position. When I close my eyes, my head goes back to the blurry mess it was. Images of , , , , and .

I cried and dug my nail into my knees. "I'm so sorry Bardulf."

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I stand in front of the pack and lower my head. "Today, I stand in front of you my true form. I'm not like you. I'm not as strong, clever or as loyal as each and every one of you. I clearly cannot protect you. Rudy was dear friend of mine. Bardulf..... he" I stop and swallow the lump in my throat. "Bardulf was my beta. He was my best friend and last night I lost him. We all did." A tear escaped.
"For that, I am truly sorry for not being able to save him, Or Rudy for that matter. I don't exactly know . To show how sorry I am, I have decided to leave my position as alpha. And hand it over to Bardulf's son, Fillin."

"What?"

"Fillin?"

"What do you mean?"

"But what about the war?"

"Fillin's too young."

"Please Randella."

All of them started arguing in my head. "STOP! Please! I can't help you! I don't know what to do about the war. I don't know what to do about all the killings. Bardulf should have taken my place. But because he can't, his heir is the next in line." I started backing away. "I-I'm sorry, I...." I ran as fast as I could. Not turning into my animagus.

I don't deserve it.

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"Ella, please get up. You've been in bed all weekend." Millecent stroked my hair.

I turned around and faced her. "All weekend? It's Monday?"

"Yes. I'm worried. What got you like this?" I rubbed my eyes.

"I need my brother." I ignored her question.

"He's already out getting good seats."

"Good seats?" I ask.

She furrows her eyebrows. "Yeah. The first tournament is today? Don't you remember?" I sat up quickly.

"That's today!?" I rush over to my cupboard and pick out an . When I was done, I cleaned my teeth and ran out the door.

-------------15 minutes later-------------
I reached the grandstand my twin was in and stood next to him. When he saw my his eyes widened. He dropped his food and hugged me. "Ella! Bloody hell I was so worried."

"I'm okay." I respond. "I couldn't miss out on Harry's first tournament."

He smiled a sad smile. "And the pack?" He questions. I look down at but feet then back at him.

I shake my head. "I left."

He widens his eyes again. "What? Ella no! You can't do that."

"I had to." Ever since my talk with the pack, I have forced my body not to transform. I feel like I have lost a it of myself.

"Ella. Your a lot more powerful than you think. When that wolf...... left. You cause an explosion." He looked away and grabbed the railing.

"What do you mean an explosion?" I look at him like he grew a tail.

"I don't know how to explain it. But I felt something strong radiate from you. It got hot then the ground shook and a burst of light shot from you. Malfoy was the only one to be able to get close enough to calm you down." He spoke the last sentence angrily. "Is there something going on between you and him?"
As if on que, I heard Draco yell at Filch. I instantly thought of the kiss last year. And my stomach flipped. "No. Nothing."

Ron nodded. "Well I was excited to eat the food I bought, but now it's all over the floor. So your buying next round." I laughed

Rolling my eyes, I responded. "Of course Ronald."

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After the tournament I ran up to Harry and congratulated him with a big hug. Afterwards, I walked back to the dorm room. When inside Cato sat lazily on my bed.

"Hello boy. How are you?" He lifted his head and breathed heavily.

"The pack's worried" He spoke in my head.

"Oh no, not you too. You rarely speak and now that you do, it's this." I said to him taking off my beanie and gloves.

"I spoke with Fillin." I whipped my head around.

"What?" I ask.

"He doesn't want the position. He thinks it's best if--"

I cut him off. "No, I don't care. If he doesn't want the position, then it's his responsibility to find someone who does. Not mine."

"But Randella, he—"

"No! Enough!" I yelled.

A bright light flashed and hit Cato. Cato whimpered in pain. I lifted my hand and pointed out the door. "Get out!" I screamed.
Cato got up and ran out the door that was opened by Daphne a second earlier.

Daphne looked at me I horror. "What did you just do?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"I heard you yelling then Cato ran out the door faster than I have ever seen any animal run. I practically felt the fear radiate from him." She threw her stuff on her bed and rolled up her sleeves.

"I-I don't know. I just wanted him to leave. I..." I sit down and look at my hands. Veins popping out brighter than ever.

"Who are you?" She asked.

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The Yule ball was announced and is in 2 days. Ron's outfit looks hideous. I feel so bad for him. I waited for Draco to ask me. But the moment never came. Petar thought I was depressed about not having a date so he asked me. I declined knowing he didn't want to go with me. I told him to ask Daphne because I know he wanted to go with her. They had gotten real 'close' since their first meeting a few weeks ago. So, of course, Daphne screamed when she was asked and hugged Petar. It was a cute moment. Seamus ended up asking me and I said yes. I got sick of waiting for Draco, who, later asked Pansy. I felt a little crushed, but I'm trying not to make it obvious.

Now, I just need a dress.