shawn mendes imagines

Facetime

Shawn Mendes Imagine

"Hey," I greeted Shawn's face through the screen, "it's been a while."

He nodded, looking around his hotel room. The bags under his eyes were hidden by makeup, something I never thought he needed. "It doesn't feel right without you by my side."

I sighed in agreement, a small silent falling. It was one of those awkward, uncomfortable silences where you didn't know what to do or say.

By now, one of Shawn's team members would have yelled at him to get off a call with his girlfriend to go do some unimportant shit. He always said sorry but it felt faker and faker every time.

Each time we talked on video chat became less and less exciting. He used to "bring" me on stage, the whole crowd yelling hello and screaming my name.

His postured in the view of the camera was slumped, his head leaning down slightly and staring at whatever was below him.

"What time is it there?" I asked, his head perking up at the sudden attempt at a conversation.

"Oh," He glanced around, "it's twelve thirty-four."

I nodded, letting out a small laugh. "I never learned the time differences, they're too confusing." He lightly laughed along, "Neither did my sleep schedule. Jet lags' really got me still."

I have a small smile as a reply, my gaze falling to our bedroom floor. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his mouth open to speak, but he quickly shut it.

I sighed, "Just say it." I told him after a moment of silence again, his head tilting sideways in confusion.

"I know you wanted to say something. Go ahead," I shrugged, staring at my reflection at the top right of the screen.

"Oh– It's nothing. Doesn't matter," He tried to brush it off.

"If you don't say it I will." I stated, wanting so badly to figure this out.

"Say what?"

"Shawn, don't act stupid. We both know how this has been going." His eyes came into realization of what I was talking about and he slowly nodded. "Oh."

"What are we going to do?" I thought out loud, more of asking myself the question than him.

"I don't know. It's not right without you here and I've been accustomed to the loneliness, I guess." He slowly admitted, feeling slightly ashamed of the truth.

"Yeah, I have too." I softly spoke, resisting the urge to turn away from the topic.

"What do you think is best?" He followed, his sad eyes now a soft caramel color.

"I don't want to say it, because it's not what I want."

"Maybe it's for the best," He suggested, trying to seem positive but it wasn't helping. "We're high school lovers, maybe we need other experiences."

I nodded, blocking back any signs of emotion or tears. I wouldn't cry; I will not show weakness to him.

"I'll always love you, you were my first love— And I hope you'll always feel that way towards me." I kept my voice from quivering, exhaling slowly.

He nodded, "You were mine too. You'll always have a spot in my heart, no doubt." He assured, looking down.

"Shawn! Get your ass to bed, you have BBC Radio's interview tomorrow at six!" A voice called in the background noise, making Shawn nod.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye," I softly laughed because of the crew member, his head barely showing a nod.

"Yeah," He paused, "it is."

"Goodbye, Shawn."

"Goodbye."

So I hung up the call, my phone falling from my grasp.

The goodbye was turned to the last word I'd ever hear him speak to me.

*****

hi guys sorry for no update last friday
this week has been bad for me lol
i have a state-wide swim meet tomorrow and i'm so freakin nervous oml
btw you guys are so kind to me and i can't thank you enough for it xx