shawn mendes imagines

Hopeful

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Shawn Mendes Imagine

I didn't say anything as he lazily walked through the door, stumbling over his own feet. He throws off his coat and shoes, walking to the bedroom.

I sighed and picked up his jacket, arranging his grey Vans nicely against the wall before turning off the light.

It's fairly dim in our room, but the hickies scattered along his neck and chest are still evident in the frail lighting. His hair is tousled, and it couldn't be bothered to be fixed.

His typically pale pink lips are a full plump red, his eyes bloodshot. He doesn't look at me as he strips of his shirt and pants, crawling into bed.

I don't take much longer to pull my hair back, shutting the blinds discreetly to keep from moonlight illuminating our room any further.

He laid on the edge of his side, taking a majority of the covers and keeping his distance.  I sigh to myself as I climb in on my own side, taking what's left of the thin blankets we use.

It's been three months like this, where every night I ask myself the same question but never answer it. The thought lingers in my mind until sleep takes over, which sometimes is prevented because of my restlessness.

Tonight is one of those nights.

It's the same thing, over and over. Why do I stay?

There's many reasons, I've come to notice; but, there are even more reasons to leave.

Three years has to mean something to us, something to him.

But he comes home hammered every night from the bar, spending all the extra money he earned as a teenager, drinking his life away with hot girls.

The thick makeup covers the marks in interviews and when we go to a parent's house, it even covers it from me.

I was almost sure he knew that his secret had spilled, but it didn't show that he cared. I heaved a sigh as I cuddled into the cold blanket further, trying to trap body heat for myself.

His breathing was light and short, seeing as he had already dozed off, but it figures. I'm not sure how he handles so much alcohol every night.

I decided to close my eyes and try to rest. One day. It'll be all over.

But, I can't help thinking otherwise.

Shawn shifted around unconsciously beside me, his arm lightly laying over my shoulder. I had the urge to move closer into him, but it I didn't.

It felt right to be near him, to hold him. However, it felt wrong to be with him, in the sense of a relationship like ours.

I couldn't sleep, so I tossed and turned as well. Management would kill me if we broke up or Shawn's was caught by the paparazzi with his act.

What was he trying to forget? The question suddenly appeared in my head and I couldn't be more confused. Was he trying to forget what we had? The fame? Meeting me?

I finally gave up to my restless thoughts, sighing a bit louder this time as I moved.

Just one more night, I thought as I lied towards the ceiling.

So this time I can forget.

*****

so i'm gonna alternate between happy n sad imagines ok cool
howdy y'all sorry for the late update again I was out
it's my birthday on sunday & i'm having a sleepover tmo whoo
also; check out my other books :) xx