Not so Bad [UNDER CONSTRUCTION]

19 | bubble

C H A P T E R 1 9

It was all Drake's fucking fault. Why did I listen to him? Why did I ruin our friendship? Over a stupid 'lesson'. I swear I will never ever talk to Drake again. Drake the pig. Drake the dick head.

I sat sourly at the dinner table mulling this over. The last two weeks mother didn't pick on me. It was a weird experience with her holding her tongue full of haughty comments but it was better. Right now I wouldn't be able to handle her shit.

I was like a ticking time bomb berating myself for my stupid actions to Conner. All that could be heard was the scraping of knives and forks. I just stared at my food with a permanent frown.

A cough was made but I just ignored it and shoveled some food in my mouth.

My father spoke up, "Tami. Your grades are falling. Do I need to remind you of the consequences if they drop too low." I rolled my eyes and just carried on eating. I really didn't have time for their bullshit when I've just went and ruined one of the only friendships I've ever had.

"Give it a rest George. She's eating pees for heaven's sake."

I stood up glowering down at my primp and proper mother and imitated, "Oh give it a rest mother, stop acting your face."

She looked down pretending to be embarrassed or whatnot and I walked up to my room. It was a low blow to comment on lack of beauty which she actually had loads of; one thing I knew about my mother was that she had low self esteem even lower than mine. To put her down made me feel like shit; I was turning into an A class bitch.

One thing I realised from a young age is that I never actually looked like my mum; while she had platinum blonde hair, I had boring brown hair from father and while she had blue eyes, I had boring brown ones.

Later I would apologise for what I said to mother. Even if she was a bitch to me and called me a dumb fuck and never actually acted like a mother, she was still my mother, right? But right now I had to think of how I could mend my friendship with Conner.

I knew what I had to do. I had to apologise to Conner but I just couldn't. What was I supposed to tell him if he asked me why I was treating him like shit? That

I sat down for what felt like ages and had finally found the confidence to call Aunt Jackie.  I needed her advice on what to do with the whole Conner issue.

After waiting awhile she finally picked up, "What's up Tam?"

"What's up is that I've lost the only friendship I had over a challenge."

She sighed, "You have the tendency to make shocking statements but never actually develop them."

We both chuckled at that and I said, "You know Conner?"

"The gay best friend you're in love with." She confirmed.

"Well I may have blew him off several times."I revealed.

"And who wouldn't." She answered shockingly, "In your position, I would've as well but it only makes it worse. I know it's a fresh wound but you can't blame him for something he has no control of."

I stayed quiet just listening and consuming what she had to say. She had so much wisdom, it was like she had already been through the turmoil I had.

"Apologise young lady."

"What do I say?" I answered back.

"Either you tell him the truth or say that you're just not ready to tell him." Hearing these words from Aunt Jackie's mouth supported what I should've done in the first place.