Secret Tales

The real me

Tagged by rukiasenpaii and pastellaze.

So I was a 15 years old chick growing up in a well family they say, but I have a not so good term with myself and a deepest grudge I sent to my mom since I started high school.

I was grunting out loud when a classmate be like "can I have your mom instead? She looks kind." Kind my ass, I lived up with her and I got nothing but pressure. NOTHING. ZILCH.

NOW onto my childhood.

I grew up as a happy child, happy they say yes I am. Childhood was all about happiness, until I found out the person who offers to be my first real 'friend', more like a 'best friend', betrayed me. YUP. Fucking cool ain't it? We call each other 'best friends' even BFF what not, until I found out from my other friend that she said this words to her :

"Who the fuck is that bitch? I don't know her. I don't even befriend her."

Yup. I was a naive kid back then. Only when I reach middle school, I came to term its called 'betrayal', and I was sad with that.

I distanced myself, even though I have a group of people who are there for me, and they are a close friend of mine, and I was thankful for them, but growing up, I moved away from my elementary to a smaller school to move on from the said bitch who dared to call me 'her best friend' and slap in my face that she doesn't even befriend me.

Me and my elementary school grow apart, they have their business, and I have mine, and so we could rarely hangout, and do contacts and such.

Let me tell you about the said bitch more.

She betrayed me when she went to grade 5, we were in different class, she was crowded with a new friends who are WAY smarter and even more elite than I am, and I am not so sure why, she just fucking leave me. MY FIRST FRIEND.

and u wanna know me befriending other 'friends'?

Some got upset because I broke their color pencil during drawing lesson and left me, others just disappear as if they have better people to tend with, and one of them hates me and wants to not stick with me because I am physically the slowest girl in PE and even the whole class. Even fat guys are faster than I am, just saiyan.

Moving on.

My middle school life ain't better. I tried to befriend some people, and gain new friends, but past is the past and I can't totally move on. I gain another cool sassy 'friend', who leaves me for yet another person (as for now) And I got to anime because of my sassy 'friend' introducing me to ff.net.

And a childhood friend who stick with me from elementary even though we are previously enemies, we became friends somehow.

And in high school, I am a total loner as I don't give flipping fucks how many elephants flied, I don't even care if we ain't allowed to play games at school, because WHY NOT. Its our stuff, not the school's. The school is a bitch.

I just wanna graduate and go overseas. American are dang lucky along with Aussie. You could play at school what not like WTF did the teacher even not care. We cannot even bring phone. We study in stuck up, boring classroom, and field trip to university and museums, why not go to another city and enjoy the beach like Bali or Bandung?

You can imagine how boring life is.

And the most expensive 'overseas' field trip school offers a fudging expensive as hell bill, and no air conditioner. Imagine how burning hell it must have been.

So my family life.

Family ain't too fine. My father overall is an okay dude, no problemmo, I like his sass tho, I grew up having an elder brother, but I want an elder sister or younger sister. Always hated that fact that the younger sister figure of mine is a small 3 years old cousin who is cute, but meh, I cannot chat with her regarding SIF, anime, or TV Shows cuz all she did is watch Dora and kids stuff.

Mom. I might rant a LONG STUFF.

Me and my mom don't have the best of term. I was a spoiled child, grew up to sometimes indulge and get whatever she wants in an instant, but on the other hand, she never GAVE ME MONEY FOR ANIME MERCHANDISE OR BOOKS.

My only books are school books and Thea Stilton series which I collected back in the days, but yah.

My mom loves to pressure me. She might as well be a drill machine who drilled me so hard that my childhood is mostly in front of books, and all I know about back then is obedience and no rebel.

I started to rebel on high school, when I got sick, of my homeroom teach who fucking preach about 'short skirt in Japan, US and lots more shit IDGAF' and mom, who fucking preach every single day and night, non stop I get so tired of.

Maybe because too much people sent me and scold me with the same stuff if you trace the bottom line, you could actually get bored, and eventually, none of anything come out of their mouths mattered.

Mom. Each and every time where I am innocent AF, she starts to get angry whenever even a single drop of bead was messed up. Being a child who response ever slowly, I always got scolded by : "Damn you, I said this not that GET THAT FREAKING RIGHT."

"Damn you! I told you that ITS THIS NOT THAT FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY GAMES WHAT NOT BLAH BLAH."

I can't care on her shit anymore tbh.

I get her asking me to study but I don't get her scolding me for such simple things like spilling the water can even sink the whole boat if she is on her PMS, which is EVERY DAY.
Or

"Stop starring at the wall! Do you want me to confiscate your gadget?"

The fuck man. I don't do anything and yet, whatever it is, I got scolded. For simple reason.

And it leads to severe self depression of me : "Why can't I be a smart and fast responsive bitch?"

"Why can't my live be a manga and just gender bend myself into a dude?"

And you get it. She fucking scold most thing I do wrong because PERFECTIONIST. I witness some perfectionist peeps at school, but HERS is just way off level.

Plus what is with that : "STOP PLAYING YOU BUTCH GET YOUR BUTT HERE."

And

"STOP THAT SHIT MUSIC ITS BLEEDING MY EARDRUM"

third one is relatable tbh bcz I plug my earphone in supermarket when they flash shit music, but hey, she scolded me, and I want to scold her back saying "Don't like? Gtfo." I'm sick of her.

Nope you get your exclamation mark off your throat bitch. And before that, I am just gonna wait to go overseas.

Growing up with video games and books are my friends even though they are DEAD. but who cares, its better than my mom who scolded at me even if I drop a bead from the second floor.

Either way, my life goal is to life a simple life, level up in SIF (to 100 to tier shiz), and fucking get away from mom. I hate her to death.

Tagging SparklingNanami
Qrabit-chan
snowcrows
suzumotos
Marionetto
KatRinRin