HERO - Spideypool [fanfic]

Ch. 1

**WADE**

"OOH, 10 points to Gryffindor!" I exclaimed, as the guy I just shot collapsed to the ground, a perfect round wound between his eyes and through his skull, the bullet landing next to him. I leaned down, looking into his dying eyes, and cocked my head to the side.

"I took it upon myself to sort myself into a Hogwarts house. Gryffindor is the one for me, don't you think?". He groaned something I didn't understand, before he became still.

"Sorry, I'd say you're more of a Hufflepuff. And no one cares about a Hufflepuff" I shrugged, and stood up. 

<Aren't you a Hufflepuff?>
Missing the point, White Box. 

I could already hear sirens in the distance, my cue to leave, so I quickly finish up and get going. 

"Bye bye, lovelies" I said, and waved at the dead bodies laying spread around me, and then I jumped down from the bridge.
With my luck, I managed to land on top of a car, but broke my foot while I was at it.

"Ow!" I yelled to myself, as the car drove around disorientated. I'm guessing the driver wasn't expecting a grown man in a red suit to bulk up his car.

"What the fuck?!" the driver yelled. Definitely a New Yorker. I crawled down to peek through the window.

"Sorry about that, mister" I said, and he looked at me with wild eyes, panic staining his every feature.  When I looked up at the road again, I saw he was on the wrong side, and a huge trailer was coming straight towards us. Admittedly, he might be right to look a little panicked. 

"Watch out!" I yelled, but right before the trailer hit the car, we were suddenly dragged aside and into the side of the bridge. The man in the car screamed hysterically, while I untangled myself from the sticky web that had found it's way around the car.

"Are you insane?" someone yelled, and I looked up. Standing just a few feet away from the car, was a guy dressed in a ridicilous suit just like me. Blue and red, with a spider on the back. He even had a mask and everything. 

[Maybe he's hiding an ugly face, just like us?]
<Don't get your hopes up, for all we know he can be beautiful>

"No, I'm Deadpool" I answered, and jumped down from the car, my foot already healed. The man in the car had gone silent, but I'd totally forgotten him already. "But maybe a little insane, yes," I admitted.

The stranger walked up to me and yelled something about being irresponsible, but it's not like I haven't heard that one before.

"Do you have any idea what sort of danger you put that man in? And the guy in that trailer? If it wasn't for me, you could've murdered them both and yourself." 

<Don't tell him you already are a murderer, buddy>

"About that, how'd you do that?" I asked, and looked him up and down. I stepped around him, trying to find some sort of device that would shoot spider web, or whatever explanation he would have for me. This wasn't one of X's kids, was it? 
As I reached my hand out to poke his wrist, where I could see small threads of web, he grabbed it seconds before I'd even come near, and glared at me from behind his mask.

"Don't touch me, you maniac" he growled, and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, c'mon. It's not like I'm going to assault you just by touching you," I said. Besides, he was already touching me. Surely I was the victim here.
"What? Can't handle human touch, is that it? Did daddy beat you up as a kid, so now you don't trust anyone?".

To my surprise, he let go of my hand and looked away when I mentioned that. So, something did happen with his dad, then...Deadpool Holmes deduce daddy issues.

"Who are you?" I asked after a moment.

"Spider-Man" he answered. "And I'll be keeping an eye on you from now on, to make sure you won't get anyone else killed". I chuckled at that.

"Well, killing people is sort of my job, soo..?" I said, but immidiatly regretted it. I didn't want this guy as my enemy. I alreay had too many to focus on. However, he didn't react with attacking me. Instead, he said;

"And saving them is mine". With that, he lifted his hand and pressed his fingers against his palm, and a thread of spider web shot out from his wrist, and he flung himself between the buildings and out of sight. 

So that's how he did it.

"Spider-Man" I mumbled. "You can't save everyone".

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Ayyee, that was chapter 1! I just want to point out that this story is mainly just for fun, a little break from frying my brain by writing on an original story I'm working on, and also one I started for a friend who requested a Spidepool fic. So, don't expect much.

And yes; I know Deadpool is canonically a hufflepuff. Let it go, I think Gryffindor suits him, let a guy dream would ya xD

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this, please vote/comment if you did, and until next time; maximum effort, guys ;)