"Okay wait wait wait, are you telling me you were a fan during your teenage years?" Calum asks.
"Yeah" I say brushing some hair behind my ear because it's kinda embarrassing, I mean not in the like I don't wanna know you type of way but like that I use to have dreams about kissing calum and that I had a blog and fanpage about them and that I had posters of their faces everywhere in my room kind of way.
"Wait, are you serious?" Calum asks, astonished.
"Yes I'm sure" I say rolling my eyes.
"Omg" he starts laughing like an idiot. "Wait were you like fangirl fangirl or just liked our music?" He asks.
"Fangirl fangirl. Like hardcore." I say.
He just falls over and start laughing.
We were playing 20 facts about me game, and I had some pretty astonishing facts.
"Woah that's cool." He says.
"Did you like um like any of us? Like crush like?" He asks with a smirk.
"Um that's a little bit too many facts." I say.
"Oh really?" He asks.
"Yes really."
"Okay, but you'll have to tell me someday." He says.
I just roll my eyes.
And then it becomes silent. We're just watching the ocean and it's waves as they crash and make beautiful sounds. I never thought this would happen. I never thought that I'd be sitting here with calum hood, eating sandwiches and drinking soda, playing games and watching the ocean. It really just seams like a dream. Like it can't be true. Me, the broken, unhappy teenager who never saw purpose in her life, who thought she was just a mess up and just loved this band that had no idea who she was, is now living and seeing things she never imagined. It feels magical. I start tearing up because of these thoughts. And then calum looks at me.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks.
And then I burst into tears. I burst into tears because I remember the pain I felt as a teenager, I remember how worthless I felt and every time I felt like that, I would put in my earphones and listen to these boys, these boys whom I loved, these boys that helped me live on through life. I love them.
"Hey hey it's okay. It's okay." Calum says as he rubs my shoulder.
"I just want to tell you that you guys mean so much to your fans, you have no idea." I say through tears.
He just pulls me in closer and holds me tight. I can feel his breath on my ear. It's growing and I can feel that his heart is just feeling some kind of happiness and joy but at the same time sadness.
"How?" He asks as his breath hitches.
"You guys saved me from the hardest times in my entire life. Just to hear your voice was like a drug. You helped me survive and I'm sure many others. You guys meant the world to me and many others." I say still crying.
He pulls me up and my face is so close to his face. I look down because I don't want him to see my eyes that are red and puffy but he lifts my chin up so that my eyes meet his. He stares into my red eyes and sees that I'm telling the truth. I stare back and I realize that he realized how powerful he is. I see him sad because of my eyes and my hurt but at the same time happy that he could meet someone that told him all of this.
"I think you're a very special person, Jane."
A.N.
Thank you so much for 1.8k reads, it makes me so happy. I love you guys and thanks for voting for this story. I hope this chapter made you happy. <3
