Amnesia

Amnesia- Chapter 7

7

I sat in silence for the longest time, making all three of us uncomfortable. Jennifer stared at me, trying to read my expressions. My 'Father' stared at me, his eyes looked sad, his face looked broken.

"Bella dear, do you remember me?" He asked quietly, walking closer to me. I couldn't lie; I do not know who this man is. I didn't say a word. "Bella, it's me, do you remember me? I'm your dad."

"I... I don't..." Was all I could get out. I felt like I was trying to force memories into me. His soft blue eyes teared up. I thought about what a father was to a daughter. I tried to understand how he felt, having his daughter look into his eyes and not think of him as anything more than just a stranger from the waiting room. I didn't know what do to. I couldn't pretend I knew everything about him; I couldn't just run into his arms and call him 'daddy' because, well, in my mind, he wasn't.

In my mind, I didn't have a father. The only people I ever remember meeting, knowing, was Doctor Gate, and Jennifer. I felt bad, and I didn't know what to do. I forgot. I have amnesia. I just wanted to shout it to him, but he knew.

"I'm sorry. I know, you're my dad, but I don't remember." I said quietly, looking at him. He tried hard but he couldn't hold back a small cry. It made me feel a mixture of awful and uncomfortable. He sat on my bed next to me, and just looked at me. Just looked. He examined my damage, even though he has seen it before. He knows, because Jennifer told me he had visited me while I was in my coma.

"I know, how it must feel, or at least I think I know. I'll remember soon, okay? My dad needs to be strong with me, so I can get better, and remember, right?" I had said, stretching my left hand out to his shoulder. I felt weird comforting him, who was just a stranger to me, when I was the damaged one. But, I guess he was damaged, too. He has a daughter in this state, and well, I don't know where my mother is, if I have one. Or siblings. But I comforted him, all the same. Just five months ago, I was his daughter, with memories and years of my life filled with him. And knowing that that's all gone and having him see that must be hard for him.

He let out a quiet sob, and then looked to me, trying to compose himself, "I know, Bella-Bear. You'll remember soon. You'll be all better soon."

I tried to believe what he said. And I kind of did, but I knew there was a chance that I may never remember. I was lucky I remember what I do. But I was done with this dramatic greeting.

"So, dad," I felt awkward saying it, and it showed, "Where is my mom? Do I have one?"

He looked to me; his eyes still that blue ocean of sadness. He didn't speak for a while, but finally did. "Well, it's hard to explain. She's not around Bella. It's just me and you. It's been like that for about four years."

I tilted my head in curiosity, forgetting that what I was about to say isn't the most polite thing to say, "Did she die?"

He almost laughed, but then realized that it wasn't really a laughing matter, "No, Bella, she didn't die. She just isn't around anymore."

I nodded, and Jennifer explained to my dad the state of my amnesia, and my other injuries. She described the type of medicine I was taking, and even when I would be able to return home.

Home. I thought about what it could look like, and I got nothing. All I could think of was this room. This white room, with Jennifer. She said I would be able to go home within two weeks, maybe less. It shocked me. It seemed so far, but also so soon. I silently listened to them talk, and I saw them occasionally look to me, but I quickly avoided eye contact with the both of them.

About an hour passed, and I talked with my 'father' for some of it, and the rest Jennifer talked to him, almost all of it was about me. But he soon saw me yawn for the final time, and told me to sleep, and that he would go home for the evening. He kissed my forehead, and it made me feel odd, but I showed no signs of it, in fear that it will make him sad.

Jennifer walked him out of the room, and to the lobby. She returned to me about ten minutes later, but she didn't give me a sympathetic smile that she did the first few times we spoke.

"Jennifer," I was going to say more, but I didn't even know what to say. It's all I could get out. She walked over to me, and sat my bed. She exhaled dramatically, making the sound of a deflating balloon. I almost laughed, but instead just smiled.

"Hey." Is all she said. That's all I needed her to say. I didn't feel like being comforted. I just felt weird.

That 'Hey' was fine though. Because it was then, that I realized that Jennifer wasn't really my nurse anymore. She was my friend, my best friend. She didn't go home, she stayed for me. She didn't send any other nurses in, she was my only caretaker. She stood up for me against Doctor Gate when he was being an ass, and she probably would have just ignored it any other time. A normal nurse would just tell me it was going to be okay, adjust my pillow, and leave. But Jennifer stayed. She didn't even bother to say any of that crap. She was just there, and that was enough.

"Home"

"What?" Jennifer asked me, and I looked at her, confused.

"What?"

"You said the word 'home'" She said to me, looking at me closely.

"I did?" I must have spoken out loud. I had been thinking about going home. I didn't want to.

"Yes, are you forgetting things again?" Jennifer asked me.

I wiped hair from my face, then spoke, sounding distant. "No, I just didn't mean to say that out loud. I was thinking out loud. But, Jennifer, I don't know what my home is. I don't want to go."

Jennifer looked at me carefully, and put her hand on mine, "I know it seems overwhelming. But this hospital isn't your home. Soon enough, you'll be able to sleep in your own bed. You'll be with your dad, living your life. It'll be good for you. But we'll have to work hard with your legs."

"But, you won't be there." I said, looking at her, my expression soft and sad. She sat and looked at me, then looked down. She kept her hand on mine.

I fell asleep before Jen could reply. I didn't want to hear her response anyway. She would have told me that once I go home, we won't see each other again.

(A/N:) Okeedokee. this chapter didnt go as i expected it to this morning, but here it is! i have exciting plans for the next few chapters though! Main thoughts are what will happen with bella and jennifer once bella gets sent home? ~Afton(: