(Phan) The Angel With A Black Heart.

Friends

"Dan. It's okay. I really don't mind that you're dead. I'm just glad you're here!" Phil says, looking at my sad face.
"You don't understand!" I say, angrily growling at my friend.
"You think I don't understand?.." He whispers.
"I understand you better than anyone else,Danny.. We're best friends. I've always been here for you. I'm understanding you're feeling scared and alone but... Aren't you glad the angels brought us back together?" Phil says, thoughtfully.
I pause, averting my eyes from my friend.
Thinking of my words carefully. How could he understand? No one understands me. I'm just.. I don't belong here on Earth.
"Dan..?" Phil whispers, averting me back to him.
"I'm sorry.. I just.. I can't believe this. You can't be.. You're not REALLY my friend, right?"
"What? Dan, you're delusional." He giggles.
"No, no, Phil, think about it! I've never had a friend before now.. I'm dead.. I'm an angel from Hell speaking and touching you. This has to be some sort of catch right?" I say, with widened eyes.
"Dan." He giggles.
"No, Phil! You didn't come into my life until that various night! And now we're best friends! I've been going through some shit lately, this has to be one of God's dumbass tests!!" I scream in my angriest voice.
"Danny. Danny, calm down!" Phil says, shaking my shoulders.
"No, Phil! You wake up! You're not real, are you?!" I scream, pulling gently at my glittering hair.
"Dan. Please calm down. I'm real! I'm real!" Phil says, pulling my face towards him.
I look up and down his body, looking at his existence.
I pause, planning my words out carefully while looking into his existing eyes.
I bite my pierced lip gently, testing to see if I exist as well.
I put my left hand onto his left shoulder, gently squeezing it, testing the reality of his form.
"Okay you feel real, but it could be my brain making me believe you're real.." I say awkwardly.
"What? Dan, now you're just speaking insanely." He giggles.
"Don't mock me with such words. I may not be real, either." I whisper, seriously.
"If you weren't real, I wouldn't be able to hug and hold you." He smiles.
He slowly grasps my hand, proving his reality.
"I don't want to believe it, Phil." I whisper, squirming my hand from his.
"Why not?" He says, grasping both my hands gently.
"I-I don't know.." I stutter with tears in my eyes, looking at the tattoo scars I still had on my arms.
"I don't feel like I've changed ever so naturally.." I whisper as I look at his interested eyes.
"I feel like I was rushed." I whisper, now averting my eyes from my beautiful friend.
"Rushed? We've known each other for a year now. You're almost 20 years old." He giggles.
"No, you misunderstood! I feel like you've changed me, but I don't feel like it was for the good of my brain and emotions. It feels as if I've changed in a flash with no hesitation.." I whisper, hovering above Phil now.
"Dan, what more do you want? I don't have more to offer than love and help for your life." He says, kind of stern now, looking up at me.
"Look, I know you have this crush on me, but you know it's not going to work out, right?" I say, suddenly.
Phil pauses.
He averts his eyes away from me.
He gently sits down onto the bed.
"Dan. That's not what we're talking about.." He says, gaining misty eyes.
"But you know that, right?" I say, seriously.
"Why would you say that? Don't you know anything is possible when it comes to love? Think about your first lover!" Phil says, crying now.

I pause.
I think about my first girlfriend.
My first well, official girlfriend from when I was 15 years old.
I think of how beautiful she was.
How creative she was.
How sexy she was.. The way she wore tight jeans just for me.. Tank tops and yoga pants when she walked through the park with me.
But aside from that, how she was accepting.
How much I trusted her.
How much she trusted me.
The love we felt for each other. I felt.. Alive.. I felt.. Happy. Most of all.. I felt.. Like I was accepted. Like I belonged.
Now I think of our brutal break up.
She was so.. Weird near the second month we dated.
It was like.. The trust was gone.
The magic disappeared.
It was like.. The real her was.. Gone.

"I remember the magic of falling in love.. But I also remember the brutal feelings of falling out of it." I say, sadly.
"That doesn't happen to everyone! We could make this work!" He says, crying harshly now.
"Phil.. I really like you. You saved me. But I don't want you to break me once again." I say, shedding a tear, wishing that I would have stayed in Heaven.
"You saved my life, Dan, remember? I have to repay you somehow. Please, give me a chance to give you the love you've wanted your whole life!" He begs.
"Phil, I'm sorry." I say, gliding away from him now.
"Dan, please."
"Look, I love you. I'll always love you as a best friend. But we'll be nothing more.."
"Okay. I guess I understand." He says, following me as I hover over the carpet.
"I'm glad. But I'm really sorry."
"Me, too. I didn't know what I was thinking.." He says, half smiling.
"I don't want this to make things awkward between us.." I say, frowning.
"Oh, no, I'll still be your friend." He says, pulling my arm, indicating he wants me to hover downwards.
I hover downwards, facing my friend who is softly smiling at me.
"Okay, good. I'm glad you don't hate me." I say, stating into my friend's eyes.
He leans towards me.
I pause, still lost in his eyes.
I feel like I'm under his control.
I can't move.
Why can't I avert from his eyes?
My thoughts are interrupted by Phil's soft, innocent lips pressing onto mine.
I feel hesitant, but I also feel a fire burst in my heart.
Without my realization, my lips dance along his rhythm.
He sticks his tongue into my mouth.
My tongue eases into his rhythmic kisses.
He bites my pierced lip gently.
I moan in a innocent pleasure.
I pull away when he does, slowly and gently.
I open my eyes before he does.
"Friends?" He says, softly smiling.
I nod softly and grin.