(Phan) The Angel With A Black Heart.

Journey

Dead is not a lonely, sad soul.

Dead is not what you feel inside when you 'just can't take it anymore'

Even though "it" never matters.

And I am not dead.

Not emotionally,

Externally,

or Internally.

I am alive.

Alive.

I am alive and well.

I can't believe it myself.

But it's possible.

Because I am in fact Human.

_____________________________

I wake up.

Yes, again, I wake up.

I'm not dead.

But I wake up in a room I don't recognize at first glance.

I growl at the room, cringing.

My bed isn't the same.

My furniture isn't the same.

_______________

I feel like I know this place though.

"DAN!" I hear a woman scream.

I'm frightened. But why??

She's gonna kill me.. I think.

I sit on my bed, pondering, trying to ignore the woman.

I look around, it's my mum.. I think as I pick up a picture of her.

I start thinking about Phil.

Is he even real?.. I've been questioning that a lot lately.

He's real..

He is real..

I don't know how I know, but I do.

"DANIEL JAMES!" The woman, mum, yells again, stomping at my door.

I unlock my, listening frighteningly at my mother yanking my locked door.

I head for the window, swiftly unlocking it.

I look back, seeing my mother looking worried and peeking her head out of the now unlocked door.

"I'm sorry, mummy.. I can't take this pain!" I run.

_______________________________________

I fall onto the pavement in exhaustion.

Man, I didn't realise I was horribly unfit.

My heart thumps wildly.

Sweat pours from my face, running down my lips.

I closed my eyes, slowly.

Resting my exhausted body.

Until I hear a voice that soothes my heart.

A voice that makes me feel like nothing bad could ever happen.

A northern English accent that is adorable and kind.

A voice that lets you know that he'll be here, and that he promises.

Phil's voice.

I never thought I'd hear him again, I must be dreaming.

"DAN"

I smile, arching myself up feeling love envelope around my heart.

"What are you doing here?"

___________

I sigh, I told him the story of me running.

I even told him about my nightmares.

My journey through living at this point.

"Oh.. So.. You feel as if you've been.. Reborn? Or you're living life over and over again?"

I nod, frowning.

"It sounds like you've had it rough. But I have a question to ask you."

I cock my eyebrow.

"What are you doing in my hometown? Don't you live elsewhere?"

I chuckle as I remember.

Before my dream occurred, the night before, I was planning to meet Phil from Skype.

We've talked about it but I was going to surprise him.

"It was suppose to be a surprise." I smile.

"Oh, heh, I was surprised.." He smiles, trying to continue on.

"...So about your issue, I remember you telling me you love to write on Skype, you wanting to be an author and all?"

I smile and nod.

"How about you write about your journey? It'd be interesting to read about."

I nod, rushing back to my home, taking Phil with me.

________________________

I sit at my type writer, looking blankly at the wall.

"Dan.." Phil nudges me, pointing to the type writer.

"I don't know.." I mutter.

"Just believe in yourself, don't think too much.. Just think of your journey" He whispers sweetly.

I smile, hovering my fingers on the keys.

I start to think.

I think about my journey like Phil said.

I start thinking of those horrifying times in Hell.

I start thinking of twists and falls.

Lawfulness. 

Being an angel.

Being corrupted.

Then I think of Phil.

The beautiful, kind soul.

The innocent being.

The helpful boy.

And how much I love him.

Then I start to write, titling it;

The Angel With the Black Heart

Phil nods supporting me, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I smile, thinking of the first sentence. 

One of the most important parts of the book.

I pant nervously, feeling myself get confused and frustrated.

Phil rubs my back and says;

"Start with introducing yourself."

So I did, it was easy. My dream introduced it.

I began with;

  "You don't know me. I'm the person you'd picture and think to yourself, Why does he even matter? Is he really that conniving? So depressing? So... So... Terrible?  Yes, I'm indeed that guy. My name is Daniel James Howell. "