Am I beautiful?

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Am I too fat?

Am I fair enough?

Do I have a pimple on my chin?

Is my nose too big?

Am I too short?

How many of us have asked these questions to ourselves? It is a general phenomenon that women are fussy about their looks. Well, at least, I have been. All my life, I have been battling to maintain my weight. When was a little girl I grew up a little too fast. I was the tall chubby girl. I remember I was always known as tallest in my class, even taller than the boys. I used to be so proud then, now that I think of it, I just laugh.

Then came the teenage years, and the realization set in, when I started noticing models and actresses on television with their perfect Barbie doll figures. This triggered my never ending diet regime until I got married at the age of 21.

No sugar.

No rice.

No bread.

No pasta.

No oil or any other fats.

Limited food. Very limited food. I was living in a constant paranoia that I am too fat. I would analyse myself at the mirror for hours. I would jump on the weighing scale every hour. And sadly people around me didn't help. Living in a fashion conscious country such as Pakistan at the time, I was constantly reminded how important it is for a girl to look pretty. Now that I think of those years, I was starved those 5 – 6 years. It was difficult but I did become slim. People around me would tell me how good looking I was. I was not satisfied until finally I got married.

My husband was least bothered about my weight. Being a foodie himself, he eventually changed my attitude to be constantly making myself starve. Today, I am not the slim girl I was a decade ago. But I am happier with myself. And maybe that's all that counts.

Don't let others manipulate you about your looks.

Believe in yourself. You are beautiful. 

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