Start all over again (SasuxFemNaru)

Part 13

Naruko's POV

I wish you don't know... I wish you moved on... I wish that this is just because I'm being paranoid... Sasuke...

I thought as I sat on the sofa which was only half a meter from Sasuke... I pinched myself on the cheek to stop myself from worrying, then I suddenly heard a small chuckle from a certain raven...

"... You never change... Naruko..." he said as he slowly shortens the gap between us until we were just centimeters away from each other... I felt my heart throb faster and faster... I felt a hand around my shoulder... and look to him with a surprised expression...

"Naruko... Why did you leave me?" he said with a hint of sadness in his eyes, I couldn't open my mouth at all... I just looked at him as I start feeling a certain pain on my chest upon seeing his expression full of pain, sadness and longing...

"... I'm begging you... Please tell me where I went wrong... cuz it's been killing me since you left... I couldn't get you out of my mind... at all... Please... Forgive me..." he said, he suddenly covered his eyes with his hand looking away from me... I wanted to reach out to him when suddenly Chisuke came,

"Mama... Is Sasuke-san alright?" she asked, I couldn't say yes because that would be lying... but neither can I say no because it will make her worry... "Sasuke-san just needs someone to talk to about adult matters..." I reasoned, as if it was a perfect timing, Iruka came knocking on the door and let himself in,

"Naruko... I'm here..." he greeted. He noticed a certain raven on the sofa covering his eyes and looking away... it seemed that he understood the situation...

"Chisuke... Do you wanna go out with Granpa... I want to introduce you to a friend of mine," he offered Chisuke,

"Really? I wanna go! Mama!! Can I go?" Chisuke said,

"Sure, why not... Take care of yourselves..." I said, and before they got out the door, I grabbed on to Iruka's shirt, "Thank you..." I said,

"Things will turn out fine... But Naruko... I'm sorry... about everything... I'll be taking Chisuke to my house... I'll get her home by tomorrow..." Iruka offered,

"No... I'll pick her up by 10 am, tomorrow..." I said. He nodded and left with Chisuke, leaving Sasuke and I alone. I walk up back to him and sat right next to him... he was still covering his eyes with his hand and so, I held that hand and got it out of the way... I saw his eyes flowing with tears... and I felt guilty and pain... I couldn't think of anything else but to wipe it off...

"You didn't do anything wrong... Please... I should be the one apologizing... I left without notice and hurt you greatly... I couldn't think straight that time... we were too young... we had so many dreams..." I said as I felt a warm sensation pouring down on my cheeks...

"Naruko... I love you, I still do... no matter how long you were gone that feeling never changed... in all those painful years... my memories of you kept me going... memories that gave me hope that you'll come back... and you're here now... you're back... you're back..." He said,

"... and you're engaged to Sakura..." I said like a big slap of reality to my face. He was silent...

"... Sasuke... We have different lives now... I already have a child... You are already engaged and things are complicated now... I guess we are one of those people who are destined to fall in love but not to end up with each other..." I said it is for the best that we move on completely... no turning back... because a wound always leave a scar... and turning back will wound the people around us... especially, Sakura...

"Naruko... I know about Chisuke," He suddenly said, my eyes widen to the thought that he knew,

"What are you talking about?" I asked to be sure whether what I'm thinking was right,

"... Chisuke is my daughter... right?" He said I couldn't deny it. I looked down and I felt my tears filling my whole cheeks as if it was drowning me. I felt his warm hand cup my cheeks and I lift my head up to face him...

"I'm not mad... I'm not blaming you... I just want to be part of her life now... even if I can't have a special place beside you... but a place somewhere there in your heart is enough," he said, it's true... we can't be together... but we can certainly be parents to Chisuke... but somehow I long to be more than just that... I want to be your wife... your better half... but I can't because someone will already acquire that position... I don't know if I will be able to see you have another family... but if that's the only choice we have...

"I'll gladly accept that..." I said with the brightest smile I can offer...

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I feel guilty i was writing this... 

:-(