Slipknot's girls

Chapter 18 - One last time

Sid stroked my arm gently as everyone sat in silence, could this day get any worse, I looked at my father as he wiped away tears, I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head "why didn't you tell me?" I mumbled as fresh tears welled up in my eyes "we where going to tell you but we thought you would have come with us as soon as we said we wanted you home" dad explained before crying again "dad, you should have said" I said quickly kneeling in front of him, he slowly stroked my hair as I lay my head on his lap "it is a hard thing to just come out and say" he said, I slumped back and sat sinking into my thoughts, how could this happen? Why would mum keep this secret until now, until this point of being near death, why would she do this to her family?, I stood up quickly making dad jump before storming out the room, I needed some air, I couldn't stay in that suffocating atmosphere anymore, I could feel the heaviness of my heart lift as soon as I ran outside, and the tears began to flow with the added gasping breaths "you bitch!" I screamed as I held my stomach "you bitch!" I cried "you should have told me! I could have helped you!" I added before slowly getting to my feet and walking further down the lawn, unable to stop my scream filled tears.

I lay on the ground looking at my blooded hand as it sat limo against the grass, I didn't want to move, I felt like I should allow the ground to swallow me up whole, I was going to lose my mum and now that I think about for awhile now she had been acting strange "Lilly, why are you lying here" Sid asked sounding worried, his hand lightly touched my arm and his face came into view "Lilly" his voice was soft and soothing and it made me feel abit better, I quickly wrapped my body around his so I could hug him, he hid his face in my neck before kissing it lightly "I'm sorry" his voice was muffled against my neck, his hot breath tickling my skin and sending shivers down my spine "I love you Sidney Wilson" he finally showed me his face and smiled before smashing his lips to mine, we loved each other but I knew this was going to be my last time with Sid and the guys, I know knew I had to go home with my family for my mum "make love to me Sid for the last time" I whispered, we separated from each other and he lowered his head before wiping his eyes "okay" he whispered, he grabbed my hand before spinning me around and grabbed hold of me before we swayed together dancing slowly to no music, just Sid humming in my ear, he spun me again and pulled me back towards him and kissed me, we've never done this before but now we where dancing together, it was a goodbye, technically he was making love to me right now but through dance, I couldn't ask for it any other way.

I woke up my leg wrapped around Sid and his fingertips lightly caressing my face, I slowly opened my eyes and looked at him to see the tears in his eyes "hey" I whispered "hi" he said still stroking my face, I slowly lifted my hand and touched his chest "last night was - amazing" he smiled weakly "it really was, like every time we've had sex" I smiled before frowning "I don't want to go but i have to" I mumbled before hiding my face against his chest "I know you have too but it still sucks, I'd rather have you here so I can hold you in my arms and touch your skin" he said still as he stroked his fingertips down my back "i don't want to get up" we both said at the same time causing us to laugh

We finally got up and went out to get something to eat, he put a hoodie on and glasses but people still knew who he was because of his hand tattoos so they stopped him alot and asked for autographs which didn't bother me, what bothered me abit was when they asked about me, who I was even though alot of them already kinda knew who I was, finally we got to the restaurant and it was nice not too elegant but still beautiful enough, it looked like an old building and people where slow dancing to the live band playing sweet jazz music, I smiled at Sid before he grabbed my hand and planted a sweet kiss on it "get whatever you fancy" he smiled, a waiter came to the table and handed us menus "anything to drink?" He asked "huh... I'm gonna be fancy and ask for some wine" Sid said waiting for my approval, I nodded and began looking through the menu "very good sir" the waiter smiled before leaving us to chose our meal "the music is beautiful isn't it?" I whispered smiling at him

"Yes it is, oh did I say that you are looking very beautiful today?" He smiled "yes about 10 times" I giggled blushing slightly "thank you again" I added, he stroked my face before clearing his throat "right so have you chosen what you'd like to eat?" He smiled "there's so much to chose from" I smiled before my eyes landed on the prices "hell fucking no, do you see the prices!" I shouted in a whisper, he laughed and nodded "yeah I do but since it's your last day and I'm going all out" his smile faded and became a straight line before he looked into my eyes, he slowly stood up and leaned down to press his lips to mine, I was taken back by his sudden loving kiss but I gathered myself back together and smiled before pulling his shirt down so I could kiss him again, then my stomach growled, he slowly pulled away and chuckled before sitting down "let's eat" I nodded and he kissed my hand again

"I'm so full" I sighed before looking over at Sid who was leaning in his chair "so am I" he chuckled, it grew silent between us before he slowly stood up, I didn't think anything of it before he held his hand out in front of me, I was kinda dumbfounded but placed my hand in his, he walked me to the dance floor and placed his hand on my lower back and his other hand cupped my face as we stared to sway to the jazz music "I never knew you like to dance like this as much" I piped up slowly resting my head on his shoulder, his hand stroked down my face and hooked into my hand "I never really did dance like this, but I like dancing like this with you, anyway, I'm making our last night together a great one" he said, I sighed relaxed by his heart beat next to my ear, I closed my eyes as we continued to sway on the dance floor.

We walked down the street hand in hand in silence, listening the the random noises around us, suddenly he stopped, I didn't notice until I felt the pull, I slowly turned around and smiled at him before he pulled me back against his body, I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and giggled as he smiled at me, he slowly stroked his hand down my hair and I couldn't stop my eyes from looking at his lips and licking my own lips, I slowly looked back into his eyes and bit my lip, he smashed his lips to mine and our lips moved like we couldn't live without each others lips, I stroked my hand down his face and let tears fall from my eyes, I was finally letting myself cry, I didn't want to leave Sid, I love Sid, he loves me, and without each other I feel like we couldn't live

He slowly pulled away and wiped my tears away revealing his tear filled eyes "I'm going to miss you so much" I sobbed hugging him tightly, I didn't care if anyone heard my cries, I didn't care, all I cared about was this moment I was having with Sid, and the emotions we were both feeling in this moment

"Damn you, you can make me cry" he laughed, I joined him before my bottom lip began to tremble again, fresh tears threatened to fall again, he wrapped his arms around me again and pressed his lips to my forehead "I love you" he voice was muffled because his face was pressed into my jacket "I love you too so much" I whispered, he slowly pressed his lips against mine and stroked his thumb across my cheek before running his fingers through my hair, I never knew love could be this powerful, everything bad I ever said about love I take it back.

When we got back the guys where waiting for us "so this is your last night, we are going to make sure we give you a big send off" Corey smiled, I giggled before Shawn lifted me over his shoulder walking me inside the tour bus, I laughed loudly squealing at him to put me down

Finally he set me on my feet and everyone joined us in the sitting area, "why are we on the bus right now?" I asked "well this is where we where when you first joined us now we are saying goodbye in here" Shawn said "for the second time" he added soon after, I frowned before the girls ran out pulling party poppers and Shannon poured alcohol into a red cup, I laughed as tears streamed down my face, she handed me the cup and I took it in my shaking hands "we love you Lilly!" They all cheered before we all began drinking with the music blurring.