Whispers to Screams (Lesbian) (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 28

Toni, under the impression that she was alone, sat in the recliner and let herself cry. She found herself doing that a lot lately, crying. It wasn't something she was entirely used to, but she found that as she did it more the stress of everything became less to bare. Knowing that Valeriya became as depressed and torn up as she did felt like a dagger straight in her heart. How could she have been so blind? Especially when her memories came back. The younger Russian woman was strong and brave, but she wasn't immune to the traumas that life threw at her. The more Toni thought about that, the more it hurt. Reed didn't mince her words when she unloaded, a lot of what she said was true. More than a lot actually, all of it. Toni knew that she loved Valeriya, that she's in love with her. That hadn't changed throughout their separation, but what about vice versa? There had been many moments between them that lead her to believe that Valeriya was still completely dedicated and shared the same feelings, but was this really good for her?

She got up from her seat, feeling a surge of motivation rush through her veins. There was a lot on her mind to consider, in fact, she wanted to leave right now and go hunt down Ethel. She wanted that old hag to pay for this. Her feet took her to the hallway that Valeriya disappeared down earlier, aiming to find Sentinal to tell him that she was ready to go, but to her surprise she was stopped right there. Standing just out of sight of the living room was the woman she was determined to do all of this for, her expression twisted with unsaid words and pain. Her eyes looked like they were out of tears, like they had finally dried themselves out and she just wanted to let the silence engulf her.

"I didn't want you to know all those things." Was all she said.

Toni could feel her heartbeat pick up, racing inside her chest as they met in a stare off. The only expression that seemed to pass through them was pain. "How did you know what she said?"

"It wasn't hard to realize. You started to cry, I could hear the blame for yourself in the small amount of words you said..." Valeriya sighed, leaning her shoulder against the wall comfortably.

Tears pricked at the corners of Toni's eyes, causing her to look down and attempt to gather herself, which proved to be a difficult task. "This was my fault, Val." She shook her head. "You deserved better than... Than that. I should've..."

A hand came up to cup her jawline, lifting her face so that they could look at each other. Valeriya let out a gentle, but strangely contented, sigh as she dropped her hand. "No, I deserve you, Antonia. My downfall... Was my own doing, because I felt that I wasn't quite doing enough. I felt like I was failing you, because my entire goal, since day one, was to avenge you. I felt like a failure before, because every lead I had turned out to be nothing. I was no closer to killing the woman responsible for killing you than when I started, and it made me feel helpless. I didn't know what to do... But now, I'm here, darling. I'm here with you and we can do this together. Do you understand?"

Together; there was that word again. She found that they used it between each other often, and it sounded sweeter every time. Valeriya had a good point and she knew it. Despite Reed twisting her in half and making her feel smaller than nothing, she knew that with Valeriya by her side then maybe it wouldn't all be a useless venture. Knowing Valeriya forgave her for leaving her alone all those months was one thing, but forgiving herself for it was another.

Toni shook her head with a slight sigh. "I do understand, but now I don't know why we're all waiting around here doing nothing while she's still at large. We have each other again, which I found out is the only thing I've ever really wanted, but now we have to get rid of that bitch so that she can't tear us in half. I won't let her do that again!" A newfound determination, and anger, bubbled up. It demanded to be felt and addressed, leeching attention from the only person in the vicinity; being Valeriya.