It's Not Your Fault

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You had been possessed for over a year, you had no control of your body. The things the demon had made you do broke your heart. All the people you had been forced to kill, you remembered each and every one of their bones breaking. You remembered the look on their face as they died, the light in their eyes slowly becoming dimmer until there was none left. Their chest stopped rising, their heart stopped beating and it was your fault.

But there were 4 deaths which would always haunt your dreams. The deaths of your family. Your mum, your dad, your brother and your sister. The only people who ever truly cared for you. All killed with your own hands.

The thought of dying used to terrify you. But now the only thing you were afraid of was not being able to get out of this nightmare, never being able to control your body again. If you were honest, dying would be a gift right now.

You tried to gain control as the demon killed yet another innocent person. You cried and screamed for them to stop but they just laughed internally, tornting you. Pretty soon you were heading to a motel, the demon having only one intention, to kill the Winchesters. That name just kept popping up.

The demon used your body to kick down their motel room door, inside were two men, one was tall with brown hair just past his ears and the other was shorter with the brightest green eyes you had ever seen. Their heads snapped up from the laptop they were looking at and they each grabbed a gun, aiming it at your chest.

"Oh please. You should know that won't work on me." You felt yourself blink and looked at the mirror on one of the walls, seeing your eyes completely black. You blinked again and they returned to (y/e/c). "Did you really think I wouldn't find you?"

"Not at all. In fact, we knew you would." The shorter one said. You could feel the demon's confusion, but it quickly recovered, trying to take a step forward only to fail, it was as if it was being blocked by an invisible wall. The demon looked up and snarled in annoyance, there was some sort of symbol painted on the ceiling.

"I will get out of this eventually." It sang.
"Well you won't be alive long enough to even attempt escaping." The taller guy said, grabbing a knife.
"I wouldn't do that if I was you." The demon said, you could feel its fear.
"And why is that?" He asked.
"Because this sweet young woman is still alive and if you kill me you kill her too."

'I don't care if they have to kill me. I want to get out of this.' You thought.
"How are we meant to believe you?" The shorter one questioned.
"Do you really want to take that chance?"

They exchanged a look, the shorter one nodded and the tall one started to chant in what sounded like Latin. The demon, shook and screamed for them to stop. Eventually black smoke came flying out of your mouth. You were free.

A little while later you were sitting in a chair, anxiously biting your nails while the men watched you curiously. It was silent.
"You should have just killed me." You said finally.
"What? Why would you say that?" Green eyes asked.

"The past year. I've killed more people than I could count. Men, women, children, my family. I murdered them."
"That was the demon. It wasn't you. You couldn't have stopped it."

"Well I should have." You raised your voice slightly, tears forming in your eyes. "What have I even got left to live for? Everyone I loved, everyone who loved me. They're gone. Killed using my body. My mum. My dad. Even my brother and sister. They were just kids, 11 and 15 years old. I was the oldest. It was my job to look after them and I let them down."

"It's not your fault."
"In what way is it not my fault? It was my hands that snapped their necks. It was my eyes which saw them take their last breath. And it's me who will never be able to forget the look of fear, confusion and worst of all betrayal on their faces as their eyes glazed over and their bodies went limp. It was all me."

"Listen to me." He started, standing up and walking towards you. Kneeling in front of your sobbing form. "Whatever that demon made you do. Whoever it made you kill. It wasn't you and it wasn't your fault because there's nothing you could have done. Okay?" You didn't answer, staring at the floor attempting to stop your tears. He brought two fingers under your chin and pushed it up. Forcing you to look into his emerald green eyes. "Okay?" He repeated.

You sniffled.
"Okay." You confirmed in a whisper, wiping your eyes.

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