Can We Save Phan? (A Phanfiction) (A sequel to What If Phan Is Real)

Chapter One!

A/N This phanfic is going to contain of 4 songs (freaking confusing.. I know...)- 

Marina and The Diamonds- I Am Not A Robot

Avenged Sevenfold- Dear God

Noah And The Whale - Five Years Time

Plain White T's - 1,2,3,4

Oh and mentions of drug use.

Dan's POV

5 months, 5 cruel months, I've been alone with only my friend Alex Day there for me. My life has been pointless without Phil, I think of him everyday and every night just thinking if he is ok without me then I realise, I was the one that caused him the pain, he will be perfect without me! My life is rubbish... I just hope that soon I will bump into Phil and we can talk about things but he wouldn't want that, he hates me now. Alex has been there for me, almost as good as Phil but no one could ever replace Phil, he's my love, my true love. Phil was right to break up with me, I was useless to him, I went out every night breaking his heart. I never can forgive myself for that, we drifted apart because I was a selfish bastard.

"Dan," I was snapped out of my thoughts by Alex tapping me on the shoulder. We were waiting on the train platform for the next train, just to clear my head.

"Oh yeah sorry," I looked back down at my hands and I sat there for about 10 minutes before Alex tapped me again. "Yeah?" I asked looking over to him. He looked over the platform and there stood my Phil. Phil Lester, the person who I was and am so deeply in love with. He was alone, this was my chance. "Alex, wait here," I stood up running over to Phil not shouting his name in case he turned around and ran away. I ran in front of him stopping him. "Phil, I'm so fucking sorry, I'm a bastard, I need to explain, 10 minutes, that's all I ask for, Phil, please..." I heard him sigh and we never made eye contact once.

"Why should I?" He had a point.

"You shouldn't but just please Phil, please please please!" My eyes had started to fill with tears and Phil didn't dare to look at them.

"You have 5 minutes, we will go back to my place, talk, then you are out, understood?" I nodded when I noticed something, he never had his ring on.

I understood this, he wouldn't want the ring, I did, I needed that ring. The walk to his was uncomfortable and silent, I missed him but I never thought that the first time I met him again would be like this. We arrived to his flat and we walked in. It looked like he hadn't tidied in ages, in months. "Sorry about the mess, Chris and PJ have been stopping here, I've been in Manchester," He said walking to his sofa and I followed. I sat down and he sat on the other one.

"So... Phil.. how have you been?" I asked quite awkwardly.

"Dan, we both know why you are here, just cut to the chase will you?" I knew exactly why I was here. I needed to apologize, I messed up big time 5 months ago and I still regret it, I hate myself.

"I'm sorry Phil... I'm so freakin' sorry! We drifted apart and I want to know why!" He shook his head.

"You want to know why we drifted apart? Here ... listen to this," He played a song by Marina and The Diamonds.

(Hey play dat song here, listen to the lyrics nd stuff yeah? Listen to it all the way through then when it stops read the next paragraph ^-^)

The song brought a tear to my eye, was I that much of a dick? But I was ready, ready to tell him everything. "Phil, I'm so sorry, just listen to this, I went out because I thought you needed space and I was only planning on going out that one night then staying in cuddling, watching films but Phil? That one night turned into one huge nightmare, I met a guy called Jamie, he gave me drugs, I was pissed, I didn't know what I was doing! And soon I became addicted so I would go out every night just to get my drugs, I didn't want to, I was ashamed to tell you, I know you would of helped me but I didn't know what I was doing! And I had no feelings at all for that girl! I love you Phil, only you, that girl was my drug dealer, she said she'd give me free drugs if I dated her and I needed them so bad Phil, I had no money left. I'm a different person now though! My drug usage is in the past, along with my alcohol one. How did I stop? Alex trapped me in the house, I couldn't get out, I had no phone, I was alone in my room by myself 100% of the times and after 3 months I was ready and I didn't think I needed any drugs, Alex never let me out of his sight I promise, Phil, just please one more chance, if I blow it, well I know full well I wont, I love you to much,"

I kissed his cheek and sat back in my chair looking at the floor. "Dan... Why did you keep the ring on all these months?" He asked ignoring my full paragraph.

"Because I love you so damn much!" I said half sobbing.

"Dan, I missed you too but I took it off, the pain hurt to much and I know I love you too deep inside and it hurts so I will give you one more chance," He kissed my cheek. "Please don't blow it," he whispered into my ear, I had missed how he had done that.

"Thank you so much Phil!" I wiped away the few tears that were dampening my cheeks. "I love you," I said and he smiled, I missed that smile.

"I love you too," He said back causing me to smile as well.

"Can we cuddle watching buffy please Phil? I miss that?" he nodded crawling over to me and sliding under my arm.

"I forgot how comfortable you are, Dan, you realise it is going to take us a lot to regain that bond we had but I know we will manage, somehow," I nodded and cuddled into him more.

"I missed you," I whispered as he buried his head deeper into my chest.

"I missed you more," He said clearly sniffing taking in my 'scent'. "Phil? Did you keep the ring?" I felt him nod against my chest and his breathing became heavier, he was falling asleep. I decided just to let him sleep, I missed all this ... I missed it a lot.

"Phil, Phil, you fell asleep," I said after watching the Buffy episode shaking him a bit but not to violently. He yawned and pulled away a bit.

"Oh, ok, what's the time?" He asked still not looking at me properly.

"Its almost 12am why?" He stood up.

"I'm going to bed, good night," He didn't give me a quick kiss, he didn't say he loved me, he just left.

"Oh, ok good night," I stood up after him walking into my room. I cursed myself for being a knob that night. It was all my fault, I broke him, I know I did. Tears started to form in my eyes and soon they turned into sobs.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

A/N Hey Raeann if you are reading like my first song choice?? ^-^ And if you have never heard it ... that's awkward

I dedicated it to phanwhitet's because she is just pure awesomeness and I've said this before like 100000 times but she was my inspiration and things and if you want to thank anyone thank her! She's basically helped me a lot ...

Thank youuu my Internet Buddy...