Can We Save Phan? (A Phanfiction) (A sequel to What If Phan Is Real)

Chapter Five!

Self-harm and mentions of Drugs

Enjoy

Dan's POV

"Ugh, Phil, I'm going to be sick..." I said coming into the living room where Phil was sat on Tumblr. It had been 2 day's since Phil found out about my cuts, we haven't talked about it since, if he tried to bring it up I would just tell him I was tired and walk off into my room, I felt ignorant for that though.

"Why what's up baby?" Phil asked as I flopped down beside him. I cuddled into his side wrapping my hands around his waist.

"This crazed fan sent me a link on Twitter to something called The Hat Fic... Oh my god, poor Striker!" He laughed a bit at me closing his laptop lid and placing it down on the floor. He wrapped his arms around me scooping me onto his lap.

"I know, I got sent that link ages ago, I was literally sick..." he said placing kisses on my neck as I rested my head on his shoulder. "Do you ever read phanfiction for fun?" He asked looking down at the floor like he obviously had.

"Yeah, when we split up I started to read this one called 'Killer' which helped me a lot," I said looking down at the floor a bit embarrassed and soon found Phil giggling at me. "What? Like you never done it!"

"Well... I did," He said quietly looking down. I lifted his chin and he smiled at me and I sent him a smile back. I placed a subtle kiss on his lips smiling into it.

"Hey, I love you," I said as I pulled away resting our noses.

"I love you more," He said and rubbed our noses together making us Eskimo kiss. I jumped up off his lap and stood there for a minute. "Where you going?!" he asked grabbing for my arm.

"For a shower," I said ruffling his hair and walking off into the bathroom. I was in the shower with my back to the water so the water didn't scold my eyeballs when I noticed something in the glistening in the corner of my eye. The razor. I didn't need it anymore but maybe one cut across my thigh wont hurt. I dragged the razor across my wet skin leaving a mixture of blood and water running down my leg. Soon enough that one cut turned into two, then three, then four on each leg. I was done, definitely. Wait, no... I wasn't.

I took the razor up against my left arm and dragged it slowly across making sure it punctured my skin and immediately cursed myself for doing it. Just one more part of the skin that will now never be scar proof as once I start on a particular place, I will never stop.

"Dan, Dan hurry up, I need a weeeee!" I heard Phil say from the other side of the door exaggerating the 'wee'.

"Yeah, 5 minutes or so," I said knowing then the blood will of surely stopped a bit by then. I continued with my shower washing my body careful not to get any soap in my fresh cuts. I felt terrible, I had no right to be doing this, I was with Phil, I had my friends back, there was still one person I missed.

Well more like a thing.

I missed my drugs, my alcohol and I don't know why.

(Here's where it mentions all the drugs... just in case you don't like hearing about drugs and stuff)

I let my head drift off trying to resist the urge to go out and buy some skunk, some speed, coke, eclipse, anything would do.

(You can now read)

I jumped out the shower with the cuts only bleeding a tiny bit. I placed down the toilet seat and dabbed them with toilet paper. I stood up wrapping my towel around my waist and walking out of the bathroom to see Phil sitting down at the door. "YES!" He shouted shooting up into the bathroom and I walking into my room putting some sweatpants on as jeans would rub against fresh cuts far to much and I placed a short sleeve t-shirt with a grey long sleeved cardigan on and walked into the living room and looked at Phil's laptop which was still open to a page named 'Why do people cut themselves for?". It made me quite depressed to see that some of the comments were things like 'because they are emos,' 'they should just kill themselves, I'd happily do it for them' e.g. I ignored the pain deep down in my chest and put on Buffy until Phil came in.

"Um.. Dan baby, I love you and all but.. um.. why is there blood all over the shower floor and toilet paper covered in blood all over the floor?" He asked sitting down beside me placing a hand on my thigh making me yelp.

"I'm so sorry Phil,"

A/N Phanwhitets is the one who wrote 'Killer' and it was sadly rated R D: So I shall dedicate it to her then if you want to read Killer you can click her name then read it :D

These chapter are so short

5 more chapters left.. Sorry