A Broken Girl (1D AND Demi Lovato FANFIC)

Chapter 3 - Not Yet

LOUIS POV:
I gathered the boys in the sitting room when Harry was asleep.
"Ok you know Harry's sister?"
"Sierra?" Niall said.
"Isn't she Dawn now?" Liam said.
"Whatever! But the main thing is this; she cuts. What are we gonna tell Harry?"
"How does she cut?" Zayn said, shocked. We met her before we went on the X Factor and the recordings and all that. She just seemed quiet, not depressed or upset, just reserved.
"She takes a blade and drags it across her wrists, how do you think?!"
"I know how. I just mean why? A year or 2 ago she seemed fine."
"Just cause a girl says she's fine, doesn't mean she is." Liam said.
"Ok true, but what are we gonna tell Harry?" Zayn asked.
"I was gonna observe her for a few days, then we can tell him how bad the situation is." I reasoned.
"That's a good idea." Liam agreed.
"We should go back to bed." We all agreed.
SIERRA/DAWNS POV:
I sat on the stairs, listening to their conversation. Shit! They were gonna watch me and then tell Harry. I can't let that happen. I'd have a lecture. A really long lecture. I heard them going to bed so I ran to mine, Zayn had to share my room. He seemed ok enough. He seemed genuinely surprised and shocked about me cutting. Shows how good an actress I am. No one knows how much I secretly suffer. I pretended to be asleep, but Zayn wasn't fooled.
"Is it true?" He asked.
"No, of course not. Why would I do that?"
"Tell me if it's true, please."
"It's not. I love life, why would I do something to risk that?"
"How did you know we were talking about something like that?"
"I pride myself on being a bit of a snoop, so I heard you all talking."
"I don't think Louis would make it up."
"You're talking to me. The alleged self harm girl, I don't do that. I wouldn't."
"Why wouldn't you? You made it pretty clear that you hate Harry, your parents, pretty much everyone, including yourself. So why not?"
I thought about that. "All that's true but I wouldn't go to extreme measures. I wouldn't do something like that!"
"Why not?"
"I love Demi Lovato. I'm her fan, I wouldn't do what she's saying not to."
"Why not? You don't know her."
"So? You don't need to know someone. She inspires me to be a good person. So why would I do that?"
"I don't know. You could be lying now. I don't know who to believe. But Lou said he saw you physically cut your wrists. Is that true?"
"Too much sun."
"It's not that sunny here."
"Too much travel, too many late nights. There's multiple reasons."
"Ok, well goodnight."
"Night, Zayn?"
"Yeah?"
"You're pretty alright. You're not like Harry. If I did do anything like that, I'd tell you."
"Really?"
"Definitely. Night."
"Night."

I woke up to Harry shouting. Ugh what's wrong with him? I noticed I was alone. I started cutting. I realised it was something I did when I was bored or depressed or angry. But I suppose there's always the past calling. I put make up over my cuts when I was done. I walked downstairs slowly. I heard Harry before I saw him.
"SIERRA!!" He shouted as I entered the room.
"Yes?"
"Is it true?"
"What true? What's going on?" I showed the first sign of emotion in front of him.
"Do you cut?"
"No! Why would I do that?"
"Niall told me. Is it true?!"
"No!"
"Niall!" The boys shouted.
"You weren't supposed to tell him!" Louis half whispered.
"Why would you think I'd do that?"
"Lou walked in on you cutting."
"That's impossible."
"You didn't lock your bathroom door. I heard weird noises, like muffled sobs. I went in to see if you were ok. But then I saw you cutting." Lou said.
"Wait, you went into my bathroom while I was in it?!"
"I went halfway, I would have gone in if I wasn't shocked."
"You perv! What if I was taking a shower or going to the toilet?!"
"I didn't think! The door was open a bit."
"Perv!"
"Sierra. That's not the point. Is it true?" Harry asked, looking pained.
"No."
"Show me your wrist then."
"No."
"If you don't cut you have nothing to worry about."
"Fine." I mumbled while giving him my wrist. He started trying to wipe the make up off. I layered it on thick. He must have seen the first bit of a scar because he made a mixture of a gasp and a cry. I pulled my wrist back. I ran up to my room and locked the door. He was going to send me away to rehab or somewhere. That's not gonna happen. I'm not crazy and I don't have any problems! I'm just scared about what he'll do. I started to cry while looking for my blade.

HARRY'S POV:
"She does." I said through tears. "It's my fault. What are we gonna do?"
"I can talk to her?" Zayn suggested. "She might listen to me."
"Yeah. Go on Zayn." I said while crying. She could kill herself. But she's not gonna listen to me.

SIERRA/DAWN POV:
I heard a knock on the door but I ignored it. I continued to cry and cut. There's a chance I could kill myself any second now. I cried harder at the idea.
"It's me, open up." Zayn said softly.
"Your just gonna bring me to Harry. Then he'll send me off. I'm not letting that happen. I'm not crazy. They'll try make me stop but I don't want to."
"I won't. They're not gonna hurt you. No one is."
"I don't care. I don't want you to come in."
"Please. Harry's worried about you. We all are."
"None of you know me. There wouldn't be a huge deal if I died."
"You wouldn't die, you'd kill yourself. That's not the answer."
"I know that! But sometimes I feel like it is. I don't wanna go to a big cruel building filled with mean and cruel nurses and doctors."
"They could help you."
"I'm not going there! I don't have to! I'm fine!" I said to emphasise I dragged the blade across in each word. He couldn't see this emphasis. I dropped the blade and let the blood fall out.
"Please let me in. I'll help you."
"I don't need help! I'm gonna listen to music."
"Demi has a new album. You should listen to that."
"Yeah I'm gonna download it now. I just need to think. Zayn?"
"Yeah?"
"Do they think I'm crazy? Because I'm not! I swear I'm not! Sometimes I think I am but I know I'm not!"
"I know your not. The boys don't think your crazy. No one does."
"People at school do."
"They're idiots!"
"Well they can be pretty harsh idiots. Their words hurt and I can't ignore them. They call me, like my blade calls me. They tell me things. Usually bad things but they do."
"Ok. I'll tell Harry you wanna be alone."
"Thanks." I downloaded Demi's album. I started to listen to it. I loved it. I stayed in my room and refused to leave. They tried to make me come out but it wasn't gonna work.
"Sierra please?" Zayn asked.
"No."
"Dawn, I know you want to come out. I get that you're fragile and afraid to be hurt because of something in the past maybe. But you can't let things like that take over you. You have to come out, we have to talk about this."
"I have nothing to say to Harry."
"What about to me?"
"Still no. You all just wanna send me away."
"I don't. Neither does Harry but he'll have to if you don't come out."
"But I don't want to!"
"Listen to Demi's words. Would she want you to do this? Would she want you to be in your room alone and scared? I know she wouldn't want you to cut. I know she wants you to be strong. You are strong and you can come and talk to Harry."
"I'm not strong."
"Dawn, he'll send you away if you don't."
"He will?"
"Yeah. Dawn please."
"Ok." I sighed opening the door. Zayn was waiting there. I walked down to Harry. I sat down in front if them all.
"How long have you?" Harry choked out.
"Years. Before you even went on the X Factor. No one noticed."
"Did you leave a lot of marks?"
"They're called scars. I tried not to. I have them all over my body, I tried to hide them from everyone."
"Where?"
"My hip, under my boob, my ankles, my wrists obviously, one or two on my thigh."
"Why do you do it?"
"Multiple reasons. People who have affected my life, who have left me broken and scared. You know what happened in the past. The voices told me to. They reminded me what happened that night. Other more recent things too."
"Do these voices tell you to do things?"
"Yeah. They remind me of my past. Of cruel times. Times I was scared or broken or felt unwanted. Things that could make me upset to want to cut. I think I'm just all round depressed."
"We need to bring you to.."
"No!! I'm not going there!!"
"You might have to..."
"No!!" I started to cry.
"Will you try stop?"
"I can't. I'm not even gonna promise I'll try because I've tried before and failed. It's no use, it's just unavoidable. I have no control."
"You won't listen to me will you?"
"I've answered your questions, I don't know what you want from me?!"
"I want you to stop!"
"I can't!"
"You'll walk up those stairs and you'll cut again won't you?"
"You don't understand. The blade whispers to me. It whispers my name, it whispers mean things. No one understands. But the answer to your question is yes."
"You need to get checked out."
"You can send me there but I won't stop."
"You have to."
"What if I don't want to? What then?"
"Surely you must want to stop?"
"Not particularly. It gives me relief. You just don't understand." I stormed out and walked up to my room. I hit play on my iPod. It was Demi, of course. I cut again, it gave me satisfaction that they'll never understand.

A/N: hello lovelies! How are you all? Your comments mean the world to me! They put a huge smile on my face! I don't want anyone to ever feel like Sierra, so if you ever feel like this please message me! I'm here if you need anyone to talk to so please do that and if you do cut, please, please know you're beautiful! STAY STRONG!! R xxxxxxxx

I KNOW THE AUDIO ON THE SIDE IS REALLY SHIT BUT IT'S THE ONLY VERSION I COULD GET