A Broken Girl (1D AND Demi Lovato FANFIC)

Chapter 5 - Hold Up

I woke up in Zayns arms. I had no idea what was going on or how it happened but I was fully clothed and I'll take that as a good sign. Today was the day I went to rehab. To try sort out my life. I don't know how it's gonna be but I was extremely nervous. Ever since an experience when I was younger I was now prettified of rehab centres and hospitals. Harry knew why, he didn't understand completely but he knew. I got up and decided I probably needed to pack. So I threw everything into a suitcase. I took a few photo albums, happy things to remind me not to give up. For once I didn't feel completely worthless and I felt like I wanted to do this. I was ready and dressed when I walked downstairs. Demi and the other boys were there. I tried to smile at them. The boys attacked me in a bear hug. They were weird, I wasn't dying just going to rehab. Demi smiled at me reassuringly. I tried to smile back. I felt so sad and nervous.
"Si! Get some breakfast then we'll go down to check the place out and we'll chill there for the day." Harry smiled.
"I'm not that hungry."
"Sierra you're eating!" Demi said.
"I'm nervous."
"Just eat." She smiled. I sighed and forced some pancakes down my throat. I was finished and Harry was going up to get my bag. I felt sad leaving the house. I was usually the only one in it. I was surprised my parents didn't notice me looking like I do. I look really sick, they're worse than I thought! Demi smiled at me.
"What does your tattoo say?" She asked.
"Eh..nothing really.."
"Show me!" She smiled. I gave in and showed her the tattoo. "Sierra, when you come out of rehab and you're ok again. We're getting this changed. It's gonna say 'Unbroken' ok?"
"Ok." I agreed.
"You're strong enough to do this. We all believe in you."
"Ok. I can do this."
"You can!" When Harry came down we all piled into the car. I sat beside Demi and Zayn. We arrived at the centre and I froze. I physically couldn't move. How I was going to stay there I don't know but right now I'm frozen. Demi encouraged me to get out of the car. Harry saw me and came and lifted me out of the car. Physically lifted me up and out of the car. I got really, really scared. Harry kind of knew why. I wasn't anywhere near saying why. They both took one of my hands and helped me into the centre. The receptionist seemed nice. She smiled warmly at us. She probably recognised Demi and the boys. Harry explained while I stood there awkwardly.
"Ok. So your name?" The receptionist asked.
"Sierra Styles." I answered.
"How old are you?"
"17."
"Why are you here?"
"My brother just explained!"
"Why are you here?" She repeated.
"Because I cut and probably need help." I was in a 'I can do this' mood but not anymore. She really annoyed me.
"Ok. How long are you planning to stay?"
"Are you serious? I don't particularly want to be here and you're asking me how long I wanna stay?! This isn't a hotel!"
"Sorry." She rolled her eyes and typed something into her computer. I didn't like her anymore. "Ok. I'll show you to your room. A doctor will be here to discuss things with you soon." She led me down a corridor to a room. She opened the door and there was a bed and an en suite. It was ok. Harry put my suitcase down. A few minutes after she left, a doctor came in.
"Hello Ms Styles. I'm Doctor Adkins." He said politely.
"I'm Sierra."
"So long have you been cutting?"
"For years. I don't remember when exactly. I just know it's been quite a long time."
"What made you want to?"
"There were different factors. There wasn't a day when I said I'm gonna start cutting myself today. It just happened. It's my way if dealing with my pain."
"It's also said you don't eat?"
"Yeah. When I do, I throw it up."
"We're gonna bring you down to the hospital type room to do some tests."
"Oh ok. Can they stay with me?"
"Of course." He led us to the hospital like room. He weighed me and measured my height. It turns out I was incredibly light. I hardly had any fat, I had so little it can be dangerous. They told me I have a cross between anorexia and bulimia. Anorexia for not eating and bulimia for throwing up when I do. They put it as "anorexia with binge bulimia" it sounded long and weird to me. I wasn't an idiot, I knew what they mean. It means I have an eating disorder. They did some scans and things. They said I was ok despite the lack of body fat I have. I trusted him now with everyone around but on my own I don't think I'd trust anything anyone said. I don't want to think about what it's going to be like living here without them. I wasn't exactly close to any of them but they made life fun. At least if I was on my own at home I'm surrounded by things I know and like. Here it's like a hospital. I feel like a freak. They said I had to see a dietician and I'd have an eating plan and I'd also have a fitness instructor so I could be thin but with the correct levels of body fat. Also so I'd be healthy. It's a mixture of both. I found out I also have to see a physiologist. To try figure out why I cut myself. So I'd have more people telling me why I was wrong for doing this. We stayed in my room until it was lunchtime and I had to get something to eat. It wasn't out of choice, I was forced. I hated it here, without everyone I would hate it even more. After lunch I met the other doctor like people. I didn't really like them. They made me feel like I was crazy. I knew everyone knew I didn't like it here. They had to leave.
"I'll see you tomorrow, I promise." Demi smiled, hugging me.
"We'll see you tomorrow too." The boys promised, each hugging me. I tried to nod. I was so close to crying. When they were about to leave I started crying.
"Don't leave me here please." I begged through tears.
"You need to. It will all be ok." Demi assured.
"I don't think I will. Please don't leave me." They all looked so sad to see me like this.
"We'll come back tomorrow and we'll see if you can come out and we'll bring you back after." Harry tried to smile.
"Don't leave, please." I cried. This was in the reception. After a few minutes of me begging them to stay and trying to run after them, people held me back. I could see how sad they looked. They let me go back to my room. I hated it here. I'm not going to get better here. I'll just get worse because I'm more alone now.