Just by Chance- Phan AU

Chapter 14- Dan's POV

"Mum, I feel like the worst person in the world. Why was I such an ass? I was just scared, but still." 

I was sitting with my mum in her car, explaining what had happened earlier. My mum nodded. "I hate to say this, but you're right, Dan. You are seriously in the wrong, so what are you going to do about it?"

I sighed. "I tried to find Phil after school so I could apologize, but I couldn't fine him. I think I need to go to his house or something. Mum, I was really looking forward to hanging out today, but I can't just leave Phil like that. Could we go tomorrow, maybe?"

My mum nodded. "Of course! I am so proud of you for making that decision, Dan. We'll go by home and you can take the car over."

We drove home, Mum got out, and I got in the driver's seat. I waved as I pulled out of the driveway, and I drove much more quickly than normal. I had a bad feeling; a really bad feeling.

When I arrived at Phil's house, I saw his dad's car that Phil was using in the driveway. At least he was home. I got out and knocked on the door. "Phil?" No answer. "Phil?! Phil, it's Dan! Please answer! I know you probably hate me, I know I was wrong. Just please let me in!"

I started crying- why wasn't answering? I tried to calm myself down. Maybe he's just in the shower. Maybe he has Buffy on really loud and he couldn't hear the knock. But I knew that something was wrong.

"Phil! Please!" I was yelling at this point. I put my forehead against the door, crying harder. "Please," I whispered. "Phil. I'm sorry. I-I love you, Phil. Just let me in. I can't live without you, I've realized that." I then decided to try to just open the door; Phil was one of those paranoid people who never kept the door unlocked in case of burglars, but just maybe. Maybe this once.

To my surprise, the door opened. "Phil!" I yelled. "Phil, where are you?!" I ran around his house, when I heard it. I heard a weak call, "Dan..." I ran to where the sound was coming from, and found Phil on the floor of his bathroom.

"Oh my God, Phil!" I ran to him. "W-what happened?" I already knew, and Phil knew that. He looked at me. "It won't stop bleeding. Please, help me." 

"I'm going to call your mum, then an ambulance." I had Phil's mum's number in my phone so I got on the phone with her. I tried to explain what was happening as calmly as I could. It was hard, because I was a mess. Phil's mum said she was leaving work, and she told me which hospital to call. She was being calm, but I could tell that she was panicking.

 I called the hospital, allowing myself to panic- they were used to this, I'm sure. I rattled off Phil's address when they asked for it, then I went over to Phil. I had gotten a couple wet wash cloths to press on his arms, like the lady on the phone had told me. I lifted Phil's head into my lap, I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, the light in them fading. "It's going to be okay, Phil. An ambulance is coming. You'll be okay."

Phil smiled weakly, closing his eyes. "No! Phil! Please, don't go to sleep, stay with me! Talk to me, tell me anything! I can't lose you!" 

Phil's eyes settled on my own. "It all started in freshman year. The year after I came out as gay. The bullying got so bad, I didn't know what else to do. I found one of my mum's spare razors, and, well, you know the rest. I didn't mean for this to happen."

I put one of Phil's hands in my own. "I'm so sorry Phil. I'm so sorry. I was scared of what Kai would do. I know it's no excuse. I shouldn't have done what I did. Please forgive me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I heard the ambulance sirens outside, and the next thing I knew, the EMT's were putting Phil on a stretcher. He looked at me just before they carried him away, and the last thing he said before he went to the hospital was, "I forgive you, Dan. I love you."