[WILL BE EDITED] FinnianXOC

Part 12

Finnian's pov
Another spider lily.
Another white rose.
Another black rose.
And another blood red.
She loved them all. The scent of vanilla and pineapples surrounded the area, making me want to cry again. It's been 3 years since she died, and I still haven't gotten over it. Do I love her? Did. Did I love her.
"I-i can't do this." My voice came out barely a mumble.
Another spider lily.
Another white rose.
Another black rose.
And another blood red.
She loved the autumn sky. The red and orange leaves. The cool weather. The hum of the bugs and the birds. The sunlight. The water. Everything reminded me of her. It's like I couldn't get away. No, maybe I don't want to get away. Maybe I won't let go.
Another spider lily.
Another white rose.
Another black rose.
And another blood red.
I'm 19 now, and I'm still stuck on her. Machigai Itami. Mistake Pain. She was named Mistake Pain in English. I haven't heard anything of her for the past three years, not since the letters.
Another spider lily.
Another white rose.
Another black rose.
And another blood red.
I've been imagining things. Today I saw her image in the woods at the tree. I know it's not real. It can't be real. She committed suicide. The love of my life is dead. And maybe I am too.
Another spider lily.
Another white rose.
Another black rose.
And another blood red.
The more time that passes, the farther in love I fall. I've fallen into something that's impossible to break out of. Suddenly I know what it's like to be human, not a test subject or a servant. Suddenly I know what it's like to not have anything you ever want.
Another spider lily.
Another white rose.
Another black rose.
And another blood red.
I thought I wanted out of the lab. I thought I wanted to see outside. I thought I wanted freedom. But the pain I felt in there is nothing to the pain I feel now. I'm more broke than I've ever been before.
Another spider lily.
Another white rose.
Another black rose.
And another blood red.
It's getting worse. I'm loosing my mind. All because of her.
Another spider lily.
Another white rose.
Another black rose.
And another blood red.
I thought I saw her in the woods again. I couldn't stand it, so I went to where the figure was. When I got there, she wasn't there. I crawled up the tree and sat on the branch. I sat there for about 3 hours.
"Hey, are you okay?" I look down to see Itami. I know it's my imagination, but I want to reply.
"No. The love of my life committed suicide 3 years ago. I'm hallucinating things now. And nobody bothers to help."
"Seth is talking to Ciel and Sebastian for me. I'll be staying here." I jump down.
"Sure. I must get going now." I turn to walk away, before I feel her grab my hand.
"Who did you loose?"
"You. I lost you."
"But I'm here."
"Your not real."
"What if I am. You finally have the chance to show me how much you actually love me. And if I'm not, well then, you lost you mind."
"Maybe I'll take your word for that." We walk to the manor together, me and the imaginary girl beside me. We walked around the garden. At one point, she stopped.
"Am I real?" My imagination tricked me. I saw the hallucination's eyes change to magenta, then back to green.
"No... But I am going to take the chance to do this, even if it isn't real. I'll still get to say I never gave up. I'll still get to say I got what I wanted." I walked up to the imaginary girl and kissed her. I kissed her long and hard. It was sweet and passionate, yet longing and sad at the same time. I knew this wasn't real, which made me sad. I knew I was imagining all of this. But I loved every second of it. And that is how I knew, I am in love with Machigai Itami.