destruction

cocoa puffs, sun chips, and almonds

                  the small bit of light shining through my window forced me out of bed.

 i hadn't gotten much sleep after julian left for the night. i couldn't stop thinking about our last conversation.

my head was pounding and i hadn't had a decent meal since the diner. 

i headed down stairs and searched through the pantry. 

cocoa puffs, sun chips, and almonds.

"you haven't gone to the store." a voice said behind me.

i instantly jumped around to see zac leaning on the counter beside me.

 he was holding his backpack in his left hand and a sack from taco bell in his right. 

i hadn't checked the time but i assumed he was about to go to school.

"where were you last night?" i interrogated.

"i think the real question is where were you?" he pointed out. "you came home this morning and could barely walk. and that dude-"

i stopped him in mid sentence. "shouldn't you be getting to school?"

he let out a few chuckles then pulled out his phone.

3:30pm.

school had started a week ago and i had only attended once. 

great going, zoe.

"well, i'm going out." zac shouted from the garage. "if you want me to pick you up something to eat just text me."

i looked in the pantry, then back at the door.

 there was no way i was eating right now. 

i put on my boots and grabbed my car keys. 

as i walked outside a gust of wind gave me chills.

 i quickly ran upstairs and found the closest jacket to me - julian's.

~~~

"total is $45.12."

i handed her my change then raced back to my car. i wasn't expecting it to be so cheap, considering when i would go to the store with my mom it was twice as much. 

mom was always taking caffeine and appetite suppressants.

 as a kid i never really payed attention, but as i got older i got curious. 

sometimes i would sneak into her dresser and take a few so i could stay awake in school. i had a lot of trouble sleeping in middle school.

 i was diagnosed with insomnia first. 

depression and anorexia came second.

 bulimia, anxiety, and ptsd came last. 

that's right, i got the whole package. 

after i was "cured" my parents left. 

i know they wanted to leave sooner.

i popped a few of each then tried planning my night. 

        i had a little time before everything closed so i walked across the street to the record shop. i spent a lot of time here a few years ago. my aunt had gotten me a record player and i instantly fell in love. i probably had over 100 records.

there was a certain vinyl i was looking for.

"zoe! i haven't seen you in ages!" carter shouted from the back.

carter was an old friend of my dad's. he taught me how to play the piano when i was six.

"i'm looking for a specific record-"

"say no more!" he interrupts, "i think i have an idea!"

i followed him to the back of the shop where he stashed everything on hold. after searching for a few seconds he pulled out an old beat up vinyl. 

as i looked at it i couldn't help but smile.

"you know me too well." i mumbled.

"we got a copy a few months ago and i've had it back here ever since." he replied, "i knew you would just have to have it!"

i let out a chuckle. 

everyone knows van morrison is my world. 

a few summers back i went to the lake with some friends. every time we visited there was an old man playing brown eyed girl. 

i had bought his album blowin your mind years ago, but i was looking for moondance. for some reason no one had the record.

"thank you so much, carter." i said while giving him a hug.

"don't mention it, kiddo." he said back, "now get home before it gets too dark." 

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feelings on zoe's disorders? anyone out there that can relate?  

who's also curious where julian went??

any morrison fans?? i am in love...

leave comments and i'll be sure to reply:) 

xox