destruction

bury in my skin

   "i think i've got some explaining to do." julian announced.

i rolled my eyes and sat back onto the couch. 

he slowly sat beside me but didn't get too close.

"i went about this all the wrong way i guess." explained, "i just don't think i'm good for you, zoe."

i straighten up as those words taunt me.

"i care about you, so so much. but you deserve someone that had a good head on their shoulders. someone that makes you happy, and would never hurt you."

his words bury in my skin. 

i wish i could explain it all to him. 

the way i feel when around him, or the way he can make me smile. he isn't picture perfect and i know that.

 but sometimes perfection is the complete opposite of perfection. 

we've all got a shit ton of problems on our plate and that's what makes us unique. 

that's what makes him so special to me.

"i love you." i responded.

he shakes his head back and forth trying to keep it all in. i see the emotions rise.

"you don't love me, zoe." he whispers. "so stop saying-"

"i love you, julian. i'll scream it at the top of the empire state building dammit." i blurted. 

"i know sometimes those words are scary. i know that you are scared of the consequences of falling in love. and i know that i love you; believe it or not that's scary for me."

his eyes meet up with mine.

 my bones start to feel weak from his consciousness. i feel a tear race down my cheek. 

i instantly try to wipe it away but julian gets to it sooner.

"i'm sorry zoe." he apologized.

i didn't want an apology. 

people apologize every day for stupid shit and yet continue to do the stupid shit. i'm sorry is only the start. 

i just want to know that he is mine. i want to be able to wake up next to him or curl beside him before sleep. i guess it's more complex than it seems.

"we should run away from here." he pointed out.

"sounds quite lovely." i chuckle.

it does sound pretty amazing. 

him and i roaming the streets together.

 living off of fast food that kills our bodies. 

not a care in the world.

"well you better get packed sunshine." he suggests, "we've got an adventure to begin!"

i lift his chin up, our noses almost touching. i can feel his slight breath on my bottom lip. 

we each pull closer. our lips connect and the passion is stronger than ever. 

a split second but also a forever. 

flashbacks filled my mind. 

the pain, sorrow, anger, fear; it all changed. in that moment i knew this was the way it is supposed to go. 

happiness fills my heart and light shines through my soul.

this is it.         

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