destruction

on our own

                 i grab my school bag, empty out everything inside and fill it with some of my belongings. 

there weren't many things i could possibly bring. i only had two pairs of shoes. i only packed a few outfits hoping that we would stop at a laundromat sometime soon. the only other things i could think of were cigarettes, some money, and my pills. 

i shove it all in my bag then meet julian down stairs. 

as we were walking out i remembered zac. i feel terrible for leaving him. then again i know that he has carlie for guidance right now. i wrote a letter for him in case he started to worry.

 julian grabs my hand and leads me to the car. 

let the adventure begin!

"so where to first?" i interrogate.

he laughs to himself quietly. i should've known he wouldn't tell me where we're going.

"i'm taking you to my hometown." he explains, "i have some cool places i'd like to show you."

julian had never mentioned where he lived before missouri. i always imagined him as a cali boy.

 but seeing that we were headed south i knew that wasn't the case.

"turn on some music." julian shouts over the sound of wind.

i plug my phone in and search for an appropriate song for our adventure. as i scroll to the bottom i stop at the perfect song- chasing cars by snow patrol. 

i hit play and blast it through the speakers. i look over at julian and see a smile grow on his face. 

he starts to sing along to the every word.

 i join him in the chorus. i couldn't help but stare at him. he was truly amazing.

 i could listen to him sing forever. he was such a happy spirit. sometimes i don't think he realizes how much joy he brings to me. then again i remember that it's more than he could imagine.

 i begin to roll my window down and let my hair dance in the wind. 

julian reaches over and rests his hand on my thigh. i flinch as the pain rushes through my leg.

"i gave you an explanation, now it's your turn." he demands.

where would i even begin.

"i messed up." i admit, "i did stupid things. i'm sorry."

the car comes to a stop.

 he gives me the look; his eyes tense up once again.

 i pray that he doesn't ask anymore questions but i know they are about to come.

"this is my fault." he mumbles.

i look at him baffled.

 i didn't know what to expect but i sure as hell didn't expect that. why was he blaming himself for my actions? the only person to blame is myself.

"baby, stop." i say under my breath.

"if i hadn't of left so often you wouldn't of felt like you needed to do those things." his voice gets louder by each word.

i guess part of it was true. that doesn't give him a right to blame himself. he's most likely the reason i didn't give in so easily.

 i wanted to, so so deeply. but for some reason i could always feel his presence.

"why did you think you had to do these things?" he asks.

i pause not knowing how to answer.

"i thought maybe if i skip a meal and become skinnier, prettier, better," i stutter. "then maybe you would like me enough to stay."

the tears start streaming down my face.

 i try to hide my emotions but they overcome me. i turn away from him to wipe my eyes.

"zoe," he begins. "you don't need to change. i like you the way you are."

"why?" i choke back the tears, "i'm a mess."

he pulls my hair out of my face and looks into my eyes.

"well, you are so very pretty." he states.

i let out a small chuckle as i can't help but smile.

"i like how devoted and intense you are."

"you're making me blush stopppp." i giggle.

"and, and, and," he interrupts. "i like you."

so many images filled my mind.

 each bad memory vanished into thin air.

 it's truly absurd, how this all has ended up. and who knows what's going to come next. 

~~~

 "let's stop at a gas station." i say to julian.

he parks the car at a gas pump and i hop out. 

he starts pumping gas while i go to grab snacks. apparently we were in the middle or arkansas. i've always wanted to travel around the world. i've never been out of my hometown though. 

the gas station was packed with different types of people.

i push through to the back near the snacks. i grab a bag of sunflower seeds and two bottles of water. 

as i was waiting in line i spotted a collection of keychains at the front counter.

 it was my turn to pay so i set everything down in front of me and waited for the total. as i waited i observed each of the keychains. they all said arkansas on them. i placed a small keychain tag next to the water bottles and handed the lady my change. 

as i headed back to the car i see julian waiting in the driver's seat. 

he winks and honks his horn and i can't help but laugh. i walk over to the car and hop in.

"i got something for you!" i squeaked.

he puts his hands over his mouth holding in a laugh. i hang the keychain from the rear view mirror and smile back at him. he looks at me confused.

"so we remember all the places we go." i say rolling my eyes.

"you're such a dork." he laughs.

i punch his shoulder and give him the pouty lip.

 he leans over and gives me a small kiss. 

i've said it before and i will say it again - he always knows how to make things better.

"we better get going," he states. "we've still got a little ways to go."

"can i at least have a hint?" i yawn. 

i was starting to feel dizzy. i hadn't gotten much sleep.

"okay kiddo, why don't you get some sleep."

i don't hesitate to crawl in the back and close my eyes. 

julian turned on van morrison and i soon dozed off.   

____________________________________________________________________________________

any idea where they're headed?

hint - abandoned

the story is slowly coming to an end also! 

any predictions on what might happen? 

leave me comments and i will be sure to reply!

xox