I think...

Chapter 11

I take one step onto the bus stairs- I take a deep breath in and exhale. Is it normal that I'm finding it hard to breathe? I don't think so. It's been a week. A week since I have done this and I seem to forgotten how to step on to a bus calmly and confidently. 

I haven't been sick, but I haven't been at school. After Andrea left, something went up on Instagram and went viral in our school community. I don't have Instagram, but I check other people's pages from time to time and I guess I checked it at the wrong time. I don't want to get into details, but it's a bad rumour- really bad. 

I scan my opal card and continue walking onto the us. People are burning holes in my jacket with their eyes and I can hear the quiet roar of their whispers. I keep my head up and stride forward. Eliza has taken her seat already, she's just fine. No one's payed any attention to her- their too busy focusing on me. I continue walking until I get to the highest empty seat. I walk into the slot, sit down, put my bag next to me and plug in my earphones. Oh how I love my earphones. I look out the window and allow the music to kill out whatever hatred they speak of. 

I look at the people in their cars and make up stories for their lives, normally. But today, I'm sick of people. I look up at the sky- it's dark and grey and their is barely any sun. There are birds flying in groups and clouds drifting away. Although it's dark, it's quite a beautiful day. 

I run my fingers up and down my earphones. Their apple earphones from my dad's old iPhone 4. I feel the crd of the right ear, I get to the little tear in the plastic just above the control pad, I then feel the scratch on the pause section in between the volume navigation. I continue my way down to the centre point that connects both points; I go down to where the plug is. I feel the pieces of tape that remained from that time I tried to fix my earphones. I warp two fingers around the plug and pull it out. I run my fingertips over the bend it has on the edge and remember how it got there. 

I plug my earphones back in and press the play button. Ruth B's 'Golden' starts to play- great. I open up my tablet and skip, I can't handle it right now. 'Nina' by Ed Sheeran starts playing and I start to rap the lyrics in my head. I can feel my fingers tapping along to the beat. I start to kind of 'drum' with my hands, just quietly. It always puts mien a better mood- listening to music. 

Then my peace is broken by the bus stopping. We've arrived at school- here it goes. I wait for everyone to leave and get up. I walk through the aisle and get to where the bus driver is. I breathe in and exhale a 'Thank you' to the driver. He tells me to, 'Have a good day' and I reply, under my breath, 'I'll try'. I take on one step at a time and as I get to the third and last step I look up. I look up at all the faces staring at me, all the faces that have seen the posts, the comments, everything. I see them and they see me. I take the last step and walk. Then, the familiar figure approaches me. 

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Hey guys!! I am so, so, so, so sorry for not posting recently. I've been going through a  really tough time in my personal life recently and I just haven't been able to find the time to post on here. But, no need to worry because I'm going to be posting every Sunday from now one, so yay!! 

Okay, bye guys- Hope you enjoyed the chapter. :-)

- Gabby.