My Sunshine

07. Secrets

R I L E Y
*Topanga's*
We had just arrived at Topanga's! It was quite empty which suprised me because afterschool it is always filled with NYU students! Talking about NYU students my uncle Josh was their no suprise!
"Hey Riles , Maya, Farkle, && new guy" he said
"Josh this is Lucas . Lucas this is my uncle Josh" i said
"Nice to meet you" Lucas said
Josh & Maya went into a Separate table. Tbh. Whenever Josh is with Maya he always seems to take her away from me! Its like she complete ignores me! Do not get me wrong i love Josh & Maya together Im just scared that one day she will pick him over me. I tried not to overreact.
"So Lucas how are you liking it here?" Farkle said
"Honestly i like it! I started to like it even more when Riley took me to her favorite place!" Lucas said
"The bay window?" Farkle said
"The bay what?" Lucas said confused
"Its a window in my bedroom were usually Maya & I always talk about things like our feelings and things! It used to be my favorite place because it was just maya and me. But now it's mostly just me sitting in the window. It's mostly now Josh & Maya you know ?" I said
"Riley how long have you felt like this?" Farkle said!
Farkle was like my brother he understands me! He always knows when somethings wrong with me.
" its been awhile but im fine!" I said
The time went by so fast we have been talking for hours . But it had to come to an end because my curfew is 8:20 and its currently 8:05.
" i should be going now! Thank you Farkle and Lucas!" I said
"Im always here for you Riles!" Farkle said as he left
"Im gonna go to the restroom and when i come back ill walk you to your house! Okay?" Lucas said and i nodded
I was just sitting down texting my mom that i was going home with Lucas until someone sat next to me!
"Hello doll face!" The person said !
I was scared of seeing who it was. My hands started to shake!
"Oh hello their jason" i said as i looked up
"Were is your macho ass boyfriend?" He said as he come closer to me
"He isnt my boyfriend!" I said
I was really scared of what he would do to me! He kept getting closer to me! And my eyes started to get watery! It seemd as if he was about to either kiss me or slap me.
"Can you please leave me alonee!" I said
"Ya jackass leave Riley alone!" Lucas said
Jason just slowly got up and told him "i will get you back someday lucas ! " and left
I was still shaking ! I felt like I couldn't move! I was having a panic attack!
-
"Riley are you okay!" He said
"No. Lucas can i tell you something ive never told anyone not even Maya!" I said
"Of course riles you can trust me with anything unless it is something that will cause you to hurt yourself or someone!" He said
"Well um Lucas i get Panic attacks and anxiety attacks! Because I used to feel alone. I mean my mom was always working and my dad was to! And what happened with Jason got me scared because i didnt know what to do and it brought back memories so i started to get a panic attack " i said as i felt a tear coming out. Of course there was more to it but I didn't want to tell him my whole personal story
"Riley im sorry to hear that but you do know that now that im here you wont ever be alone! " he said as he hugged me
"Thank you. For some reason it's strange how ive only known you for like 5 days and I already told you my darkest secret!" I said
"Don't worry Riles you can trust me but you do know i will have to tell your parents about this right?" he said and i nodded "Good because i care about you. Now come on Riley let me take you home" he said
L U C A S
I had just dropped her off and i was heading home until Cory stopped me!
"Thank you!" He said
"For what?" I said
"Making sure she came home safely " he said
"No problem . But sir, i know Riley has panic and anxiety attacks!" I said
"How'd you know that?" He said
"Well she was having one early today and she told me about some of her past!" I said
"Oh my poor pumkin! What caused her attack?" He said
"Im not sure she would want me to tell you! You should ask her! Goodnight sir!" I said and headed off.
C O R Y
It scared me to know she started to have them again! She was diagnosed around when she was in 3rd grade! She stopped having them in 6th grade.  But now that they returned it worries me. Now that shes older and she has new feelings it mighy be harder for her to control them! Im just scared i dont want anything to happen to my little girl!