Fiction Friday: A Far-flung Blog Collection

We can't be friends.

originally posted by Cailey Ortiz to alexisdonkin.com blog, 3-25-16

I can remember the moment things changed. Rowan, Tim, and I were running through the woods like we always did, cackling as we jumped over roots and rocks. When we finally reached the grotto where we hid away from the world, we were breathless, giggling, and holding our bellies.

"I'm glad we're friends," said Rowan when he caught his breath, and something in my stomach twisted. My throat tightened.

"Yeah, me too," said Tim.

"Yeah," I added, because I needed to say something. Rowan grinned at me, his blue eyes sparkling. My stomach dropped.

I knew then. I knew, but I didn't say anything.

And just months later, I saw him walking out of town, to the woods, bending his head to Azra's shoulder. They laughed, barely taking their eyes from each other and my whole body went numb.

It took me over a year to push the thought of Rowan out of my head. When he got his acceptance to the university, I was really happy for him. He deserved it. And I was grateful he would be gone for 3 years, even as Azra wept.

Those three years were fine, until Tim started spending time with Azra.

And when they were so close – so close – I grew uneasy.

I fidgeted and lay awake at night as Rowan's return grew near. I wished Azra would just get rid of Tim, my friend. I couldn't imagine being friends with Rowan if he wasn't with someone else. Then at least he wanted someone else, as opposed to not wanting me.

Eventually I latched onto the idea that maybe university would change him enough that I wouldn't want him anymore. Maybe we'd both be so different – a lot can happen in three years.

I'd been working on myself. I woke up early every morning to practice hand-to-hand and weapons work. I did trail runs with the other guards and I was on the fast track to join their ranks. I'd been going on salvage missions with Tim under the direction of the mayor. People waved and smiled at me whenever I walked down the street. I got many a free beer or basket of food as thank yous. Several families gifted me nice clothes, jewelry, and the like to get me as a daughter-in-law.

"That Cailey – you can't do better than her!" I overheard at many festivals and community suppers.

It made me blush and smile. Still, I couldn't be bothered with any of them.

I was happy enough, flirting with marriage prospects and patrolling the town perimeter. The time flew by. I didn't realize how long it had been. Head down, I was walking back from townhall, turned a corner and bounced off Rowan's chest.

"Rowan!" I breathed.

"Cailey!" His eyes widened a fraction, but his expression was hard. Whatever softness had been there three years earlier was gone. His face was smooth planes and harsh angles. His blue eyes that used to remind me of the sky, conjured a roiling lake.

"I didn't know you were done!" I remember looking at the ground, my face hot and my ears buzzing.

"Yeah. Well, seems like everyone forgot about me." My breath caught and I looked up at him. Catching sight of his face, I took a step back.

"I – I'm sorry Rowan."

"Why are you sorry? Did you reject Tim first?" he spat. I hesitated.

"No, but -"

"Sorry Cailey. I'll see you later."

He strode past me, back straight and muscles tense. Under his clothes, the definition was unmistakable. While I'd developed, honing my skills, there was no denying Rowan had done the same. I watched him walk away, my stomach churning as I sighed.

Whatever hope I had of easy friendship died with Rowan's return. We had all changed, but one thing hadn't. Rowan still made my breath catch, and he was completely oblivious.

****

Cailey is a character from the work-in-progress novel, THE CHANGELING TREE.