Law and Order SVU: The Child No One Wanted

Chapter Nine

Chapter 9: Blame

After a 48 hour stay in the hospital deemed Gen well enough to return home. Olivia was excited to be taking her daughter home. She thought once Gen got home she would get a little better.

Gen hadn't really spoken since she arrived at the hospital. She didn't talk to her mother and she refused to speak to Amanda. They were able to get her to hand write her statement.

When Olivia and Gen got into the car, her worry increased. She had seen these symptoms before in previous victims. She tried talking to her knowing all she would receive is silence.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"..."

"Gen? Honey please. I know this is hard for you but please don't do this to yourself. You're not alone." Olivia said.

"..."

When they got home Gen went straight to her room closing the door behind her. She laid down her bed, and thought about how fucked up her life was. 'You're fat, and you deserved what happened to you' She told herself. 'Don't deny it everyone knows you deserved it. Even your mom. She doesn't love you anymore because you let him do it again' She told herself. She tossed and turned on the bed as the mean thoughts kept flooding in. She turned her face into her pillow and cried out loud. She was in so much pain, and she couldn't handle it anymore. She went to the back of her closet, and retrieved a razor. She turned it over in her hands, remembering the feel of it. It had been over a month since she had last done it. She pulled up the leg of her sweatpants and began slicing away at her skin like it was butter. 'This is what you pay for being an ugly, fat slut' She told herself. Hot tears of anger began pouring from her eyes, and she just kept cutting. She cut until she felt woozy, and heard her mom at the door. She tried to clean herself up, but eventually just laid out in the floor.

Olivia knocked on the door.

"Gen? Gen honey dinner is ready do-" Olivia was cut off at the sight before her when she pushed the door open.

"Genesis?! What the fuck did you do?!" Olivia shouted.

She had shouted and cussed at her daughter for the first time. She would feel bad about it later but now her daughter was more important. She sat Gen up against the side of the bed, and looked into her eyes. They were unfocused, and she had a hard time keeping them open. Olivia grabbed a shirt and pressed it to her leg.

"Don't do this to me! Stay with me baby! Hold on!" Olivia shouted.

Olivia dialed 911, and pulled rank to get a bus asap. She rode along in the ambulance willing her daughter to live. She whispered in her ear.

"Please don't leave me. I love you. You are that missing piece in my life. I'll get you through this if you just stay with me" Olivia begged.

They began working on Gen the minute she was rushed in. Olivia felt so helpless all she could do was stand and watch. She stood there speechless watching the medical staff work over her daughters limp body.

She was guided to a waiting room where she was told she would be notified when she could be with Gen again. After about 20 minutes a nurse came out and told her she could go to Gen's room.

"Some of the cuts were superficial and some were very deep. She has about 21 stitches. She lost quite a bit of blood so we had to transfuse her. She might sleep for a day maybe more. She's just in here." The nurse explained as she walked Olivia to the door of Gen's room.

Olivia walked slowly to her daughters bedside. The tension in her shoulders relaxed as she watched Gen's chest move up and down. She stroked her hair and kissed her head.

"I'm so sorry. I saw the signs, and I failed you. You have to be ok. Please be ok. I'll be right here when you wake up" Olivia said tears streaming down her face.

'How did we get here?' She thought.

The next morning Olivia wakes to Gen thrashing around in the bed.

Gen's dream...

"Beg!"

She feels the lash of the belt across her skin.

The pain radiates her entire body and she can't help but to cry out.

"I said beg!" He yells.

He lashes the belt across her skin again, and she gives in and begs for him to stop. She hates herself for feeling so weak, and she hates him for what he's about to do but it doesn't stop it from happening. She clamps her legs together even though she knows it won't stop him. He pounces on top of her and forces her legs apart, and roughly pushes into her.

The excruciating pain she felt when he tore into her. She wanted to die.

End dream

"Please stop...No!"

She was still trapped in her dream.

"Gen? Sweetie?" Olivia asked cautiously.

She touched Gen's back.

Gen shot up and screamed.

"NOOO!"

She searched the room frantically looking for any sign of Derek and she saw Olivia standing beside her, but she still couldn't be sure. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she was breathing heavily. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and began to rock herself.

Olivia approached her slowly so she wouldn't alarm her.

"Sweetie?" She asked softly.

Gen didn't say anything. She just continued to rock herself.

"Where are you right now?" Olivia questioned her again.

"Derek please don't play games with me just get it over with!" Gen spat.

"Genesis, listen to me. Derek is not here. It's mom. It's just you and me. Look at me..." Olivia said slowly.

"OK...FINE! HOW DO YOU WANT IT? DO YOU WANNA TIE ME UP? HUH? DO YOU WANNA BEAT ME FIRST? HOW DO YOU WANT IT?! I CAN'T FIGHT YOU ANYMORE!" Gen screamed trying to tear the hospital clothes from her body.

Olivia knew that Gen was suffering a full blown flashback at that moment. She tried again using the same voice she uses with victims.

"Gen, honey. Look at me ok? Can you do that?" She asked gently taking Gen's hands in hers.

Gen snapped her head in Liv's direction, and her eyes focused on her. She slowly came out of it.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry mom! I'm sorry!" She threw her arms around Olivia and started crying.

Olivia rubbed small, soothing circles on her back.

"It's ok sweetheart. It's ok. Shhh...I'm here...I'm here" Olivia said getting onto the bed with her.

"I-I wasn't trying to kill myself! I swear I wasn't. I just wanted the thoughts to stop. I just couldn't handle it anymore! So I cut, and cut. Again and again until I felt dizzy, and then I was sleepy. The darkness crept in and it was comforting. Oh mom I'm sorry!" She cried.

"It's not your fault. But you have to start talking. I almost lost you! I want you to see someone" Olivia said pulling Gen away to look into her eyes.

Gen shook her head.

"Why?" Olivia asked.

"Because I don't deserve help..." Gen answered looking away from her mother tears streaming down her face.

Poor Gen...Everyone deserves help...:(. Comments?