Mask-An Attack on Titan Fan Fiction

Chapter Thirty-Eight

En stood before me, his eyes blazing in terror. Screams echoed around us, but nothing was stopping him now.

"I love you, Ilsa," he said.

The word ricocheted around my brain like broken glass, stabbing wherever they touched.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

He loved you.

En's screams are the things ricocheting in my ears now. I see him dangling from the mouth of a Titan like a wet towel. The screams persist, resounding in my ears like a gong, tearing through my brain and wreaking havoc down my spine, where it settles in my heart to rage and thrash- a livid, spined creature of the night.

I jerked awake, my throat dry and a stale scream on my lips. I ran my hands through my sweaty hair, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to breathe normally.

Mikasa was sitting up in bed, looking over at me with questions in her eyes and disheveled hair.

"Sorry if I woke you," I gasped, "I just had a bad dream."

She gave a sharp nod and lay back down, covering her head with the blankets.

As I shifted my legs slightly, I felt my heart constrict as my skin brushed against dampness puddling around my thighs.

If I just wet the bed, I'm going to die.

I pulled back the sheets with numb fingers to be met with, not a puddle of urine, but one of blood.

My monthly curse was upon me once again. My rigorous workout regime had caused my pattern to break, leaving me uncertain of when to expect it next. I should have realized that my vivid dreams and spikes in anxiety were signs, but I had ignored them.

Gingerly, I got out of bed and was met with a familiar throbbing in my abdomen. Cramps, it seemed, had come along for the ride as well.

Perfect.

I grabbed a fresh pair of underwear and pants and changed, wincing with each progressively more painful throb.

I stripped the soiled sheets off of my bed and blotted at the blood that had seeped onto the mattress. I grabbed a fresh set from the closet and remade my bed. I gathered the bloody sheets and clothing items up and headed out to the hallway.

The hamper for dirty linens was located at the end of the hallway, so I deposited my sheets in the hamper and made my way back to my room.

Before I got there, I paused in the middle of the passage. This was the first time I had been in a completely silent space in a long time. The window at the other end of the hallway was rimmed with early morning light, dyeing the whole hallway a shade of sleepy grey.

In that moment, my world seemed drained of color. Even the winged banner on the wall, which always valiantly burnt our eyes with its colors, had been sucked of pigment and hung limply against the wood of the wall, tortured by the grey light.

The quiet beat upon my ears, reminding me of how alone I was; to be the only one awake at this hour meant hateful solitude. The silvery silence seemed to be clinging to my skin, whispering sweet nothings against my neck and sending chills across my arms. I felt myself shrinking smaller and smaller, my limbs dissolving into dust and becoming one with the greyness. I closed my eyes and saw En's body, his eyes still wide open and glassy. I opened my eyes immediately, the image of his irises leaving a fiery imprint on my vision.