Human Again (A Jeff the Killer story)

25. Find her

Peter's pov (guess you didn't see that coming ;) )

I lay in my bed, looking at the ceiling in front of me, thinking about the only topic I've been thinking about during this whole month.

Emilie.

I've been thinking about her every day since the events at the cinema, and since her strange disappearing.
A tear threatening to fall when I remember her long and wonderful brown hair, floating in the wind, as bright as her gorgeous smile. What could have possibly happened to her? Where is she now?

I've asked everyone I know if they could have possibly seen her. I've glued photos of her on the streets. I've been to the police station every single day.
And yet, nothing has been found. No clue. Nothing. Policemen and myself are sure that she's trapped somewhere. Witnesses from the cinema told us that a strange man has entered the cinema some minutes before the terrible events. She's always seemed on the edge since I've known her, and I'm sure she's been threatened multiple times. However, I didn't do anything...I didn't help her, and I will always hate myself for that.

But damn, where can she possibly be now?

I've thought about all the possibilities, and after one month of disappearing, chances to find her have decreased. Even on tv, journalists don't talk about her as much as they did during the first week. It's like the world is giving up on her.....but I won't. Never.
I like her so much. I've never felt attracted to someone before like I am with her. Her face, her smile, her wonderful eyes - even if I saw a kind of sadness every time I looked into them - everything about her is perfect to me. She's flawless, and I know I'm meant for her, as she's meant for me.
So, I can't give up. I need to continue looking for her. I'll search through every houses around Chicago, I'll ask every person who walks near me on the street, I'll call every acquaintances of her, in an order to find her. Even if it takes me years.

Her parents even traveled to Chicago to come see the policemen three weeks ago. I've been introduced to them, as I'm every day at the police station. Even if they didn't talk English, an interpreter was accompanying them. They were depressed and on the line of breaking down, just like I was since her departure. After one week of investigation and of absolutely nothing, they came back to France, looking like ghosts.

Life has been dark without her. It's like the sun has disappeared, the birds have ceased singing, and the world has stopped turning around me.
I knew since the moment she had started working at the cafe with me that I was in love with her. Everything about her made me feel an irresistible attraction, an electricity in my whole being.

I desperately needed to confess her my immense love for her that day after the cinema. Everything was settled in my mind : I would have payed her a coffee after the movie, then, I would have taken her home. In front of her door, I would have taken her in my arms. She would have been shocked - it seems like she didn't acknowledge my love for her, as she's so blind of her beauty. Finally, I would have confessed my love to her before kissing her like I dreamed of. If she had accepted me, I'd have become the one who would protect her from the man that made her feared for her life. I'd have saved her, I'd have loved her, I'd have rose up her confidence about herself. And I'd be happy for the rest of my life, with her by my side.

But nothing happened as planned. And it'll never happen if I can't find her.

Reluctantly, I get up and head straight to the shower. It's already 8 a.m and I need to work at the cafe. Today is the first day of my new working schedule - I stopped working for a month, to be free to search for Emilie, but I need to earn money again. Therefore, I made a new schedule with my boss, to let me search for her even though I need to work fulltime there.

When I'm ready, I head to the cafe and start working, even though my mind is always getting on Emilie.

When it's finally 5 p.m, I exit the place quicker than I had before. I walk fast in the streets, eager to arrive early at the police station. I don't want to waste any precious time I have, while Emilie is somewhere out there, maybe suffering and slowly dying. It hurts me deep when I think about that, but I know it can be a possibility.
I hurry up to the office of Officer Miller, which is the officer leading the case, while greeting everyone in the station. I knock before entering his office.

"Hi Peter, you're earlier than I thought you'd be." He says while shaking my hand. Officer Miller has always been really professional, and that's why he's so high ranked in this station now. Everyone here respects him, and so do I.

"I know, I've been in a hurry to come here. So any news?" I ask as usual, hope spread onto my face.

I wait patiently for what seems hours to me - which certainly was only seconds - before he replies while avoiding my stare "No, there's still anything new."

I feel my heart stops from his statement. They still haven't found her, or any clue of where she could be. It's like she just....vanished.

"There's something I have to announce you actually...." He hesitantly tells me, still avoiding my gaze. I know that when he does that, it's because he is afraid of my reaction after his statement. I breath heavily with anticipation.

"What is it?"

"Well, as you know, it's already been more than a month since Emilie has disappeared."

"Of course I know it, I've been counting the days." I reply harshly, even though I didn't want to talk this way with the man who can save my dear one.

The Officer ignores my last comment and continues telling me what he's fearing to let me know, "And you know as well that we couldn't find any proof that she's alive, or any clue of where she could have possibly been during all this time. It seems like she has disappeared completely, far away from here, surely in another country."

"Yeah I know that too." I hesitantly reply, trying to get the end of this conversation.

"You sure know too that it's unlikely that we will find her. And even if we do find her, there's not a lot of chance that we'll find her in...well, a good state."

"Please tell me what's happening right now." I practically beg him. I can't stand him avoiding the topic - and my eyes - like that.

"O...okay. Because of all these statements, my...my superiors have decided to close her case in some days. If we can't find something within the next 3 days, her case is going to be closed.....It may be reopened quickly," he quickly adds when he looks to me, "if we find a clue while investigating in another case. But we won't keep looking for her as deep as we have been doing lately."

I stare at him in shock, trying to persuade me that what I've just heard was a joke. It couldn't be, it couldn't be. They can't let her down. They can't give up. No way I'm going to let that happen! We can't let her trapped there. I angrily get up and thump the table violently, making him jump.

"You can't give up on her! You can't! That's your job! It's not my fault your men are useless!!"

I pin him against the wall and grab him by his shirt. I know I shouldn't attack an officer, but I'm so furious right now that my brain has stopped.

"Don't you give up now! I won't let you! I won't!"

I'm ready to punch him in the face when someone - Ms Thomson - grabs me by my shirt and pushes me on the floor.

"Don't you dare threaten an officer! I can put you in jail for what you've just done!" She screams at me, furious.
I angrily get up, getting into the whole situation. I'm fed up of them, of everyone.

"I'll find her by myself, Officer. I'll never let her down." I say quietly before exiting his office and the police station. I'm the only one who can save her now.

Wait for me, love, I'm going to find you.