Something Has To Give

Unspoken Confessions

As the sun broke through the gap in the white sheer curtains of Connie's bedroom she slowly began to wake up, no recollection of the day before until she felt the heat of someone beside her.

That's when she noticed the position she was in. Her head was resting on his chest, a hand tangled in her hair while the other was placed delicately on her waist. Her own were on his chest lightly tracing the muscles below. Their legs were entwined and the bed sheets were thrown messily across them.

Connie released a slow breath before hearing Jacob talk. "I wish we could wake up this way everyday but I know this won't last..." She went to answer before he continued talking.

"God I love you Connie, why do you have to make it so hard for me to admit that? Make me feel like it's wrong to love you..." She realised he thought she was asleep so remained quiet to hear what he said.

"You're the most beautiful woman I could ever lay my eyes on. You take my breath away whenever I see you and it hurts to feel this way for you. I've never felt anything quite like this before, and it's not something I'm ready to give up on."

Jacob sighed as he began to run his hand through her hair. A small but sad smile rest on his face. "I think I've always known that I love you... But the day you saved me, the day you saved my life I realised I couldn't lose you."

"Being with you, spending all that time with you, was the happiest months of my life. I don't know what happened, I don't know what went wrong but I wish I did. I wish I could fix it and make it so none of this ever happened."

Jacob rest his lips against the top of her head as he took another breath. "I'm in love with you and not being able to show that is killing me Con, I wish we could be like us again."

"I wish you could still give me a hard time, I wish that I could wish it was over... Because no matter what I'd still have you to wake up to but now, now you're gone and it doesn't feel right."

"I still wake up thinking you'll be there sometimes. I come into work forgetting what's happened and then I see you, that's when I remember, and it hurts. It hurts a lot to think I did something to lose you. The best thing to ever happen to me."

The tears were freely falling down her cheeks as she listened to Jacob open up about everything. She'd spent so much time thinking about Grace that she'd failed to realise how bad this was for him.

"I think I could cope with this if I knew it was what you wanted... If I knew that you didn't care, that you weren't hoping that somehow this could happen, then I'd be able to move on. But I can't because I still see it in you, the small flicker of hope that there could be an us, me and you."

Everything went quiet before Jacob moved his hand from her waist and placed it under her chin tilting her head to look up at him. He looked down at the tears that had spilled down her cheeks.

"Con-" "I'm sorry I can't do this..." She moved from his grasp and made her way into the bathroom closing the door behind her. Jacob placed a hand to the door and stayed there while she rest her forehead against it. The tears not showing any sign of stopping.

"Con, talk to me?" She placed a hand to her mouth to try and mask the sobs. Jacob closed his eyes as he listened to her crying. It was the one sound which he hated more than anything else. "Please sweet cheeks, I think after everything I at least deserve that..."

"You deserve so much more and that's what hurts. I can't give you what you deserve-" "And what can't you give me then Connie? Because I can't think of anything I want more than you."

The tears continued to fall down her cheeks as she stood in the bathroom trying to hide herself from the one person she wanted to be with. She didn't want to lie anymore, that's what all this had been about.

"Open the door Connie-" "Just listen... I never wanted to leave you Jacob, and I never meant to hurt you like I have. I thought you'd move on, I thought that you would just forget about me." Connie sighed as she closed her eyes, all her weight leaning into the door.

"But I guess I was wrong there. You're right, I do care more than anyone would ever know. I love you Jacob Masters and it hurts me too that I can't show that..."

Silence fell over the house as Connie realised she'd now left nothing hidden. Everything was out there for him to see and she couldn't hide.

When there was no answer she was worried he'd gone. She wouldn't blame him for leaving, after all she'd expected it all along. She wiped the tears from her face and splashed some cold water across her face before glancing into the mirror.

Jacob had moved from the door to sit on the bed as he replayed her words over and over. If this woman loved him, why'd she do it? Why'd he break everything off just to hurt them both.

Connie finally opened the bathroom door and looked out to Jacob who was sat on the bed, his eyes on her. He stood up as she slowly walked across to him, dropping her head.

Jacob placed his hands gently around her waist as she let her head fall to his chest. "I am so sorry-" "Shhh..." They stood quietly with each other for a little while longer before Jacob smiled putting a little space between them.

"So you love me 'ey Mrs Beauchamp?" "Shut up Jacob." She laughed gently as he smiled. "There's the beautiful girl I fell in love with." He ran his thumb across her lip before caressing her cheek.

Jacob closed the space between them and kissed her. Connie melted into it more than she ever had. When they pulled apart Connie looked up at him. "I really am sorry for hurting you-" "Don't apologise sweet cheeks, come on all this serious stuff can wait a little longer can't it?"

Jacob pulled her back to the bed and lay down with her head on his chest once again. "Connie Beauchamp you're beautiful and you will never be able to stop me from telling you that. I'll always love you, promise me you'll remember that?" "Only if you promise me something..." "Anything."

"That you'll remember you're the most important man in my life, I could never replace you and I'll always need you. Even if I say otherwise." "I promise sweet cheeks." He pressed his lips to the top of her head as she closed her eyes once again, a tear escaping them at the thought of how she could ever make this work.