Story 14: Loosing My Religion

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The song is Loosing My Religion by R.E.M.

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"Oh, life is bigger,
Is bigger than you ,
But you are not me.
The lengths that I will go to,
The distance your eyes.

Oh no I've said to much.
I've said enough."

•••
Wally was never good at letting people go, giving up on them. He tried to always make sure he could keep them and not let them slip from his life. Always wearing his heart on his sleeve, and not being able to suppress emotions properly. 

That's why he wanted Artemis. He didn't want to ever loose her

But she didn't want him. Artemis was never good at keeping bonds, but was very good at not showing an emotion.
"Emotion makes you weak, and I am not weak" she'd tell him.

But he still loved her....

•••
"That's me in the corner,
That's me in the spotlight,
Loosing my religion,
Trying to keep up with you.
And I don't know if I can do it.

Oh no I've said too much.
I haven't said enough.

I thought that I heard you laughing.
I thought that I heard you sing.
I think I thought I saw you try."

•••
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get Artemis to fall for him, or even show any sort of emotion towards him.

But his faith was not wavered.
He still loved her....

•••
"Every whisper.
Of every waking hour,
I'm choosing my confessions,
Trying to keep an eye on you,
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool.
Fool.

Oh no I've said to much.
I said enough."

•••
Slowly Wally realised he was loosing the everlasting battle between him and the high, brick wall Artemis had implanted into her mind.

He was like a lovesick fool. Following her round, dreaming about her, watching and anticipating her every move.

He kept trying to think of the right words to say, picking and choosing as he saw fit. But nothing worked.

But he still loved her...

•••
"Consider this, consider this,
The hint of the century.
Consider this, the slip,
That brought me to my knees,
Fail.

What if all these fantasies,
Come flailing round.
Now I've said too much."

•••
Wally was finally starting to consider the fact that maybe he should pick up on the "hints" that Artemis didn't harbour any feelings for him.

But for some reason he couldn't let her go. Not just yet.

"I'll get her eventually. Even if I can't, I'll settle for a smile"

He often dreamt of them being together and growing old together. Some people might say this is weird.

But it was because he loved her...

•••
"I thought that I heard you laughing.
I thought that I heard you sing.
I think I thought I saw you try.

But that was just a dream.
That was just a dream."

•••
Wally sprung up from his bed, "Artemis'" laughter still ringing in his ear. But then he realised it was just a dream.

But it all felt so real. Wally was sure that if he got Artemis to laugh for him it would sound even more beautiful than what he'd witnessed in his dream.

He was head over heels in love...

•••
"That's me in the corner,
That's me in the spotlight,
Loosing my religion,
Trying to keep up with you.
And I don't know if I can do it.
Oh no I've said to much.
I haven't said enough.

I thought that I heard you laughing.
I thought that I heard you sing.
I think I thought I saw you try."

•••
After 2 years of trying Wally was done. His heart was broken into little shards and once again he was all alone again (wiping the tears from his eyes (GreenDay reference guys go look it up)).

Why try? He'd done all he could. And what's the use in trying when you have no achievable goal.

The thoughts of having Artemis love him back were just a dream...

•••
But that was just a dream.
Why, cry, why try?
That was just a dream,
Just a dream, just a dream.
Dream.

 Dream

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