Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #2- Autumn's Fall

Title: Autumn's Fall

Genre: Mystery/Adventure

Author: BethanyFerson

Rating: PG

# of Chapters: 23

# of Chapters I've read: 3

Summary/Blurb: 

 One of the three Ministers of the Seasons has gone missing,

Three children learn more than they should.

An innocent journey soon turns hazardous,

What awaits them all at Autumn's Fall?

Review:

Cover:

[I was told beforehand by the author that the cover will be replaced soon, but I'll still give my opinion on it anyway.]

First of all, I like your title because it's a pun! (For those who don't get it, 'autumn' is the British way of saying 'fall'. But in this case, 'fall' doesn't mean the season. I'm mind-blown.) Was it intentional? Wait, why am I even asking, of course it is! That's what being a writer is all about—hitting your readers with creative titles and stories and leaving them scrambling around for their brains once their head exploded from the sheer awesomeness.

The cover itself, however, doesn't do justice to the title, and here's why.

It's obviously manipulated, but not for the better—I get what you're trying to convey here. There's this demonic hand coming out of nowhere, and it's trying to grab at the people walking/running on the bottom of the picture. (In the blurb it says there are three children, but I see four on the cover)

The issue here is, that the picture of the forest seems to be taken at a time where it was very foggy, so the majority of the image is faded (grey). Maybe you were trying to make it all seem spooky, but then the images that are layered upon it are also dark, so you can't really see what's going on. Then there isn't the author's name on the cover, just the title, smack dab in the middle in white, because you wouldn't be able to read it in any other colour.

You have a lot of cool elements to play around with: ministers of the seasons, spooky forest, kids running around, etc., but at the same time, try to stick to the "Adventure" theme. This isn't a horror story, so the cover shouldn't reflect the genre.

Overall—Creative title, not so creative cover. But it will be fixed soon, so I'm hoping that it will be something that will blow people away. 

Blurb:

I've removed this part from the blurb/summary in the review book: "Hey y'all, this is my first try at writing a story on here, and I'm writing it as I go, so the editing might be a bit rough at times. Comments make me happy and votes make my day ^____^"

Why, you ask. Because nobody wants to know that this is your first book! If you say that you are an amateur writer, this will make people grab their things and run the hell away. With that comment, you've practically hammered a sign into the ground saying: "I'm new, don't hate on my work, and it's going to be full of errors. But I'm new, so it's okay." I know this isn't what you're trying to say, but this is the message that is conveyed to me. Is this the first time you've ever written something other than a school essay? That's okay! But your potential readers don't have to know this. Keep this to yourself, your family, and to your pet platypus.

Okay, now for the blurb. It's a little short/generic and kind of reads like a poem to me (Again, was this on purpose) due to the commas at the end of the phrases. You know what would be really cool? If you actually open your blurb with a poem regarding the ministers of the seasons or something. I know it would grab MY attention.