Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #4- Crestfall Chronicles: The Crown Of Persephone

Title: Crestfall Chronicles: The Crown of Persephone

Genre: Fanfiction (Heroes of Olympus)

Author: AmazingFan101

Rating: PG

# of Chapters: 7 (Ongoing) 

# of Chapters I've read: 3

Summary/Blurb: 

"Nico hung back a little, as if unsure of what he was about to see. Maybe he already knew. It was only when Theresa took a step forward that she realised why Georgia looked so petrified. She felt a sickening lurch in her stomach.

Georgia's sleeve was rolled up; there on the smooth, exposed skin of her dark brown forearm, droplets of blood slowly oozed out, tangling together, forming a sticky scarlet web of words.

"Friend or foe, inked in red,

Accept this quest, or join the undead."

~

After the war with Queen Dirt-Face, Nico wasn't too happy with the idea of quests.

A search for the lost Sybiline books that may as well jinx their good luck? Fair enough.

But a forest maze - thanks Hecate, his own half-sister throwing a deadly curse his way, coming to terms with the part of himself he feared most, and, not to mention, someone who annoyed Nico more than Jason Grace did?

Gee, thanks Fates. That's exactly what he needed.

Review:

Cover (has been updated, so this no longer applies):

Did you make the cover yourself? By this I mean, did you draw the character? Because it looks really damn good (I am completely unfamiliar with the fandom for this book, so I'm going to go ahead and assume that this is Nico, since Persephone is a female whilst the character pictured is a male).

My only complaint about this is that the crown is photoshopped kind of awkwardly on the back of the guy's head. I'm assuming because it was supposed to act both as the imagery for the word "crown", and the actual head garment for the character. Also, I think Persephone should be in a color other than grey since that's the color of the background. I'd suggest something brighter because right now, what's catching my attention is "Crestfall Chronicles", " author's name", "Crown" and "Of."

Overall—Love this!

Blurb:

I like the quote you extracted from the book. It made my nose wrinkle (because messages written with blood? Ew) but it really did grab my attention. Especially that last part: "Friend or foe, inked in red, Accept this quest, or join the undead." Like, hell no, I would rather go on this amazing, life-changing journey instead of getting transformed into a zombie, thank you very much. The alliteration (tangling together/ sticky scarlet/ web of words) also kind of served as a lead up to the ominous message. I'm sure that it wasn't intentional, but the greatest inventions happened by mistake, am I right?

You do head-hop in this part, though, especially when you move from Nico "hanging back" to then Theresa "taking a step forward and realizing why Georgia looked so petrified." The POV is meant to be Nico's because it opened with him—because this is an extract, something tells me that there will be an issue with POV-switching, but we'll see about that.

The part after that, the one that begins with "After war with Queen Dirt-Face" seems to give a voice to the narrator (which is a big no-no, because this is in the third person). This is shown in "Queen Dirt-Face" and "Gee, thanks, Fates. That's exactly what he needed." The main subject of this part also changes around—first it's about Nico, then about a group "their". I also think you should move the part about the labyrinth up underneath "Nico wasn't too happy with the idea of quests."