Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #19-Twisted Christmas

Title: A Twisted Christmas

Author: spicy_sweets

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: MA-15 (gore and coarse language)

Chapters: 2 (ongoing—including the prologue)

Summary/Blurb: 

Santa Claus and Krampus are like night and day, with one spreading joy and the other spreading fear. Santa Claus is the North Polian King who travels the world in one night bringing gifts to good girls and good boys. While Krampus, the half goat demon, dedicates his life to punishing the children who do wrong with his bundle of birch wood.

When Krampus begins to question the King's actions towards the frozen town's subjects, he is exiled to the outskirts of the desolate South Pole. After spending a century in solitude, Krampus is finally summoned back to his home by the King himself. Upon his return, he realizes just how much has changed in his absence.

Review:

Cover:

I like the title—it's simple and gets the message across, but I'm not as much of a fan of the cover itself. It doesn't scream 'Christmas' at me, nor is the genre Romance...so I don't know how the border of roses is related to the holiday (apart from the fact that they're red, and that roses can grow in winter).

Maybe it's supposed to be a metaphor for something? Santa Claus is the rose while Krampus is the thorns, the two complement one another and if one of them went missing, you wouldn't have Christmas. But I'm probably reading too much into this. I think you should stick to the Christmas theme and have a border of pine trees, candy canes, and Santa hats.

Overall—The title reads "A Twisted Christmas" but I'm seeing "Valentine's Day". 

Blurb:

I'm getting some How the Grinch Stole Christmas vibes because Krampus is a demon-goat, but the story is actually much more sinister than that. Who could've thought that a holiday affiliated with love and joy could take such a dark turn? The tags read 'blood', 'death', 'prison', so I'm a little concerned about the type of story I will be reading. My innocence was destroyed eons ago when I was told that Santa Claus didn't exist, but now I'm being told that he's an evil, merciless dictator? What exactly is going on up there? Does he overwork his elves, and whip his reindeer to death? I mean, he exiled Krampus for questioning the way he rules his kingdom. Not even that he gave away Claus's workshop's location to the media, or prevented Christmas from happening.

This blurb is great, because you introduced both characters, the 'protagonist' (because in actual fact, Santa seems to be an asshole) and the 'antagonist' (Krampus is actually just the 'appointed bad guy', and the one that questions the North Polian King's actions, similar to Ralph from Wreck it Ralph). It gives us a little information on each character and raises the conflict question.

You've already managed to make me feel sympathetic towards Krampus, which in fact makes me want to read on and find out exactly what happened to him. Your ending, "Upon his return, he realises just how much has changed in his absence." serves as an amazing hook thanks to its more ominous undertone—something tells me that the North Pole won't be like the one you see on your Christmas cards.

Overall—#TeamKrampus

First Impression:

Damn. The first chapter hit me right in the feels, I just wanted to reach into the book, pull out Krampus, and give him a cuddle. It sucks how nobody wanted to take responsibility for punishing the naughty children. Yet, when someone like Krampus stepped forward and took the bull by the horns, they jeer and spat at him. It's not his fault he was born half-goat and half-demon! Blame his genes! It's disgusting, really, but it just shows how messed up society can be. 

If there wasn't anyone who did the dirty work, we wouldn't function as well as we currently are (even though we aren't currently doing that well, but you get my point). Besides, do the elves have any idea how evil children can be? There are dozens of cases in which children went as far as committing murder (we're talking about serious, disturbing stuff, the kind you only see in crime novels), so how can they expect these kids to get sock filled with candy and chocolates? To me, that just smells like bullshit.

I found it really interesting how Krampus grew so weak over the centuries, whilst Santa Claus grew so powerful, but I can understand why. He probably saw the way modern society idolises him, and that inflated his ego beyond epic proportions (just look at the lengths some people go to out-decorate their neighbours' homes. It's crazy). Meanwhile, who the hell knows Krampus? He's basically a nobody, because thanks to the commercialization of the holiday, children are being showered in gifts even if they don't really deserve them. This explains why the North Pole has suddenly become this industrialised city, where the elves live in tiny, one-bedroom apartments and probably have to work 12 hours a day, without a lunch break. Overall, it justifies why Krampus is currently in such a pitiful, dejected state—he's intolerant of the cold (how did he survive the South Pole, I wonder), lives in complete solitude, and is still treated like shit. 

You've set this story up very well.  The descriptions are beautiful but not overbearing, and I couldn't find any glaring plot holes, even after a thorough analysis. I was really sad when I realised that there were only two parts (because you've written this for a competition, I thought that it would be a short story). I was dropped off at a MAJOR cliffhanger—I really want to know what kind of 'work' Santa Claus has in store for Krampus, and what dangers lie ahead for our furry friend—and then kicked in the face for good measure. I'd really like to see where this story goes. 

Writing Style:

The writing is clean, fresh like snow, and any grammatical errors were small enough to be overlooked/ignored. There is a certain fluidity to the writing that prompts you to gobble up the pages and makes the characters come alive. You've created sympathy for a protagonist, that although he's currently in a weak state, actually has a very strong personality—he survived being exiled into the middle of nowhere for centuries, retains his composure in front of the verbal (and physical) abuse from the elves, and despite finding his job traumatic, to say the least, he sucks it up and powers through. He's a hero we can all love and root for. 

Characters:

Santa Claus—In the story, we only hear from him through the narration. He doesn't actually make an entrance in the story (he most likely will in the third chapter) but I already hate this guy. Forget everything you think you know about Santa Claus, and see him more as a dictator who has gone a little bonkers. He treats everyone like shit, and from what I can tell, has an ego the size of a blimp.

Krampus—The unlikely hero. We don't get to see him during his exile, but straight after, when he's reduced to a "numb, teeth chattering mess". Theoretically, he's the bad guy, because he looks like a goat-demon and gives bad children sticks, but he really isn't. I may have said this a thousand times, but I feel really bad for him—and I have a heart of stone. 

Simon—Santa only has one reindeer in this story, so he's in a perpetual state of exhaustion. Also, his owner doesn't go easy on the whip...so the poor guy is exhausted AND battered. 

Diamond rating ♢ (1—10): 9

This was an amazing read, the story is only at its beginning, but I can already tell that it will go a long way. The story may not be 100% perfect, but it's close to it. I hope that your entry wins! 

Edit: I forgot to add this story to my Diamond In The Rough reading list, but now I did. Good work!