Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #37-The Party

Title: The Party

Author: _BlindDreams_

Genre: Teen Fiction

Rating: pg-13 (drinking)

# of chapters: 12 (ongoing)

# of chapters I read: 2

Summary/Blurb: 

Every year, the Henderson's go on vacation, but they always leave for one week. During this time, it is tradition for the teenagers in the town to break in and throw a party while they are gone.

Sophie thought that nothing big happened in her small town; Avandale, Kentucky, that is- until she was told the Henderson's were coming to town. Why would that matter to her? The only way to describe it is with one word: Party. Sophie knew that she would be forced to go by Angela, her best friend, even if she didn't want too. So why make it harder on the both of them, and just go?

Sophie was a shy, trust issued teenager almost in senior year. After having to move in with her Aunt Linda, she never was able to trust anyone easily after her parents death. But then Angela came along, and Sophie was finally able to open up to someone, other than her aunt.

Now meet Jadam. Jadam Henderson, or also known as Jadam Blair, he's the one who started the whole rumor. As he tries to spread the word of the party, by using his fake name, he attracts Sophie's attention and all she wants to know is who he is, and more about this party.

Will Sophie find out Jadams true secret about who he is, along with any other ones he has? Or will she finally open up to someone other than her best friend and aunt?

Review:

Cover:

The background doesn't really scream "party" at me. It looks more like the Great Barrier Reef than a crowd of raving teenagers, even more-so because of the sky (which looks like dirty water) and the fact that the arms look like sea anemones. The stickers are all blurry and hard to read, and I'm not too much of a fan of the font used for the title + author's name either. The whole ensemble looks really dodgy and not altered very well.

So my suggestion for this would be to get an actual photo from a beach/house party or something and use it as your cover—you need bright, effervescent colors that really illustrate a crazy party. Also the font of the title needs to be funky to match.

Overall—The cover looks like the zombie tsunami from World War Z.

Blurb:

Damn, this is a really long blurb. There's way too much information given away—you practically gave me a summary of the plot. Additionally, some sentences were worded a little awkwardly, making the content kind of hard to understand, and some paragraphs didn't seem connected to the previous one. For example, the paragraph about Sophie being a teenager with "trust issues" should go before the one about her believing nothing happens in her small town.

So I'll just tell you which parts can be cut from the blurb:

1. "Every year, the Hendersons go on vacation, but they always leave for one week."—the part about them leaving specifically for one week is unnecessary.

2. The whole part about Sophie's parents dying, her moving with her Aunt etc. is unnecessary. It contributes nothing to the blurb—you should be placing more emphasis on this party rather on the character's backstory, because the event is what the story revolves around.

3. The part about Jadam having a secret name, etc., that's also a plot give away. I'm pretty sure we won't know that Jadam is using a fake last name until later on in the story (unless you do POV switches), so don't put it here now. Keep that element of mystery here.