The Forsaken Mate

Chapter Twenty- Nine.

“There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be, and baby don't it feel like I'm all alone. Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown, and I've lost my way back home? I think nobody knows no, I said nobody knows.”

 “I mean, it looked like you were about to start having sex right there; that fighting was like foreplay and everyone around you was feeling the heat. You guys have so much sexual tension; imagine the sex!” Davy exclaimed as we walked up the stairs to our separate rooms.

I nudged her in the side and frowned, hiding a smile. “I said I’d give him a chance; I’m not jumping into bed with the man.” Yet. A small voice in my mind chimed.

Davy wiggled her eyebrows before I chuckled and shut my door in her face. I slid down the back of it a buried my face in my hands. Did I do the right thing today? Giving him a second chance? Was I being too hard on him?

It really didn’t help that I had nightingale, his sons and fifty of their men watching my every move, waiting for me to mess up.

There was a knock on my door and I stood, opening it to see Nightingale. I supressed a frown but stepped aside to let him in. He walked silently into my living room and sat down on a couch, looking around.

I sat opposite him and for a few tense minutes we stared at each other. He would stare at my scars before meeting my eyes and then doing it all over again. I let him and just sat there watching his reaction.

“What happened?” He asked quietly, staring at the bullet wounds on my chest and the fat, puckered scars on my arms and stomach.

I shrugged and looked out the window, trying not to flashback to those terrible memories. “Hunters, from when I went missing; they had a dog fighting ring going, beat anyone who defied them.”

I visibly saw him suck in air before he looked down ashamed. “Everyone thought you’d quit and just disappeared; being an alpha is stressful and no one thought you could handle the pressure.”

“All because I’m a girl.” I finished for him, shaking my head in anger. “Well you know what, no matter how hard it’s gotten I haven’t and I won’t give up. This was my father’s pack and it’s better now than it ever was before.”

Nightingale nodded before running his hands over the fabric of the couch. “I was out of line threatening you like that; truth is, I would never force my sons to mate with anyone, I’m a firm believer in mates. It was wrong of me to threaten your position as alpha; you’ve worked harder for it than anyone else I’ve ever heard. It was yours by birth right but you still had to fight for it, unlike most alpha heirs. You run this pack with an iron fist but everyone is all the better for it.” He took a breath and looked at me with sad eyes. “Everyone but you.”

I pushed down my tears and stonily looked at him.  

“What did those hunters do to you? Why do you isolate yourself? Of all the alphas I know you have it the toughest yet you just push everyone away.”

That was the final straw; this stranger could plainly see this and I was angry and confused. “I isolate myself because I’ve been isolated my whole life; my father ignored me, no one would be my friend because of who my father was and because they thought I was a stuck up bitch! You have no idea how hard this is; all of it!” I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. “I’m looked down on because I’m a woman in a man’s job, I can shift therefore I should open my legs and breed ‘for the good of the species’, but you know what, that’ll never happen; I’m more than a brood mare. I’m better than that. I have survived through so much and I have protected this pack from more than they could ever imagine and yet I’m still questioned and beaten down! You have no idea what those hunters did to me; just hearing about it would give you nightmares!” I stood and ran my hands through my hair in frustration and confusion as tears rolled down my cheeks. “I have to be strong, I can never break down or I’ll be challenged, weak. I have to constantly be a bitch just to make sure that no one walks over the top of me!”

I stared at him, shaking my head. “Nobody knows, nobody can comprehend what it’s like to be so lonely, so damaged. You had no right to come in here and challenge me like you did. You don’t deserve to be king with the way you treated me, your sons don’t deserve the respect and love they get from people who they’ve never even met. Did you know that your youngest was so rude that Matt had to beg me not to hurt him?

You don’t deserve to be here; get out, get out of my room, get out of my house, get out of my territory and take your dogs, and your pompous sons with you.” I shouted, pointing at the door.  

He nodded and stood to leave. “My wife was abused; it gets better when you have people who love you.”

“Out.” I hissed, glaring at him. Once he turned his head I angrily wiped away the wetness on my cheeks and went to my bedroom, lying in the middle of my bed and staring blankly out the window.    

I felt the bed dip before strong arms wrapped around me. Tell-tale warmth, comforting sparks radiated from the man behind me so I leant into his chest and just cried.

Why did life have to be so difficult?

-

I felt warm arms wrapped around me like steel, hands stroking my back gently, a warm breath caressing my face. I opened my eyes and stared into deep green ones. “Why are you here?” I asked quietly; I mean I was glad he was with me, but it still didn’t mean everything was good between us; because right now, nothing seemed good.

“I heard you yelling, I came to see if you were alright but instead found you curled up and crying in bed; I couldn’t just leave you.”

There were no words to describe the relief I felt; he didn’t leave, he stayed.  I rolled onto my other side and watched the night sky out of my window while Klaus spooned me.

“So you’re not going to reject me?” I heard him whisper in my ear.

I shook my head and I felt him sigh, wrapping his arms tighter around me, moving his body closer to mine. I felt him place a butterfly kiss on my shoulder, over a thick scar. He still wanted me even with all my imperfections. He was staying.

I felt a tear leak out of the corner of my eye and over my nose, but I wiped it away as I stared out at the stars, Klaus’s hot breath fanning over my neck, raising Goosebumps. My mind flashed back to something in his letter that really made me angry.

After we ran, we encountered a few problems, specifically hunters. You see they’ve developed a new sedative that really knocks out wolves and they used it on me and two pack members; the rest got away.

 “What did the hunters do to you?”

I felt him stiffen before he sat up. I looked at him as he blankly looked out the window.

I sat on my knees and held his face in my hands, knowing that if was half as bad as what had happened to me, it’d be hard for him to talk about. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and I wanted to cry.

“They tested new weapons on me; knives, guns, whips. They made me watch as my pack members were tortured. They played mind games, gave us hallucinogenic drugs. Starved us, beat us… raped us.” He shuddered as his eyes glazed over and I stifled a sob.

I’d been beaten and forced to kill, demeaned and absolutely downtrodden but Klaus… my god Klaus.

I wiped his tears away and wrapped my arms around his neck, placing a kiss on the side of his face and cradling him against my chest as I lay down again. That night we both cried for the horrors we’d experienced and for the trials we would soon face.

 He was my mate and I couldn’t stay mad at him forever though; he’d suffered enough.