I Never Thought It'd Be You {JBLS}

Chapter 12

- Katy -

Oh God, Ben.  I thought he was the one.  We starting dating at the beginning of Sophomore year.  We used to talk about growing up, getting married, having kids, and living a happy life together.  Like I said, I honestly thought he was the one.  But one day in January of this year, all that changed.

- Flashback, the day Ben broke up with Katy -

I was on my way to second period.  I got to my locker, opened it up, shoved my books into it, and got out my ones for second period.  I haven't seen Ben all day.  I surely hope he's alright.  Suddenly, he walked up to me.  His hands were shoved into his pockets and his facial expression just was...depressed.

"Ben, baby, what's wrong?" I asked him, using a sad tone.

"Katy...I have something to tell you..." he said, and he sounded very nervous.  My heart skipped a beat, but I ignored it.  Maybe he was asking me if we could go to the movies on Friday?  But who would look depressed when they ask out their girlfriend for a normal date...?

"What is it?" I asked, trying to stay calm, but a hint of worry was in my voice.

"Katy...um...we can't be together anymore..." he choked out, his voice raspy.

My heart froze.  I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds.  "Wait, what? You're kidding, right? You're trying to make me laugh? Well then haha," I quickly responded, and I faked laughed.  This can't be real.  It has to be a joke.

"No...I'm not kidding. Listen, you're a great girl, and I'll always love you..." he said softly.  "Goodbye, Katy," he added and quickly walked down the hall.

The bell rang, but I didn't care.  My head was spinning.  With tears flowing like a waterfall down my face, I ran to the bathroom.  The girls were staring at me as I grabbed paper towels.

"Go ahead, stare, I don't care! You try having a guy that you thought was the one break up with you!" I shouted and they quickly walked out of the bathroom, looking at me like I was a psycho.

I ran into a stall and just cried.  I cried for what felt like hours.  I don't care who came in and heard me.  The guy I loved with all my heart just broke up with me.  All those memories...  All those great times.  They're never going to come back, now.  Why did he break up with me?  He loved me, and I know that.  Was it something I did?  Was I suddenly not good enough?  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started to look through my pictures.  They were mostly pictures of Ben and I.  They made me cry harder.  Then, I got to my favorite one of us.  We were out for our one year anniversary and someone was kind enough to take a picture of Ben and I kissing.  Like, you know, one of those still cute couple kissing pictures.  Not any making out or anything.  I edited the picture to make it look awesome.  Some of my tears fell onto my phone.

All my self-esteem suddenly flew out the window.  "What doesn't he like about me?!" I said to myself as I stood up.

I went out of the stall, and looked in the mirror.  I observed my body, looking for any flaw I could see that would want to make Ben break up with me.  Flaws were all I saw in that mirror.  My stomach is flabby, my arms are large, my face has too many freckles on it, my brown hair is a mess, my eyes are dull.  Now, I can clearly see why Ben would break up with me.  I'm a mess.  But he always said I was beautiful...  I don't understand it.  He loved me so much...  He told me it every day.  I remembered something.  Once, I recorded Ben saying that he loves me, and some other things, just for when I went on vacation and I couldn't talk to him all the time.  Also, just for memories.  When I went to England for vacation last year, I played it like twenty times a day because we couldn't talk a lot because of the difference in times.  I grabbed my phone which was back in the stall and I found the recording.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I read the title of it; "Ben Loves Me!"  Even though it was going to bring more pain to me, I hit play.