Unwanted (Editing)

15. The Careful Consideration

A/N - I know that this is very short, but i was at a major writters block on this story but i thought you wonderful people deserved a chapter :). So i hope this isn't too bad since i never read over what i write. Anyways read and hope you enjoy. Thanks for keeping up with this rubbish story :D. 

happy reading. 

Chapter Fifteen – The Careful Consideration

“Oh, look who’s talking!” I grumbled through gritted teeth as I yanked my arms from his grasp. I was angry at him for not giving me the slightest acknowledgement earlier at the hospital. I averted my gaze from his face to the floor.

“Taz, what’s wrong?” I instantly snapped my head back up, squinting into his eyes. Is he for real? What’s wrong? Did he just ask what’s wrong? Of course he did, does he not realise there’s plenty wrong? I clenched my fists by my side and glared at him. “Okay, now you’re freaking me out.”

Almost instantaneously I snapped, gesturing with my hands as I spoke, “Are you stupid? Huh, tell me Jay, are you that stupid?  You could’ve gotten yourself killed and after I save your life you shout at me. Like seriously? Wasn’t Ashley’s death enough for everyone? There’s so much wrong with today.” I was shouting to the point that spit flew out of my mouth and landed on his nose. He used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe it away, yet he didn’t complain about it.

“Whoa, Taz calm down please. This is not like you. I’m sorry and thank you for saving my life, where are you headed anyway?” He placed both his hands on either of my shoulders and shook me vigorously.

“Just to clear my head.” Tears escaped the line of my eyes as I sniffed hard. The day was yet to be processed in my head. I had no idea why I wasn’t more specific to him.

“Oh.” His eyes bored into mine and for the first time I felt nothing of it. It was as if my feelings for him disappeared and what made that thought worse was because a death brought me to that realisation.

“Jay, I’m in love with Ashley.” I leaned in closer so my lips were against his right ear. His hands were still gripped on my shoulder and they tightened when I whispered to him.

“But I thought…” He trailed off and anger rushed through me as I remembered the words of Serenity when we were back at the shopping centre in Manchester. I gritted my teeth at that.

“What, Jay? You thought what? Well she lied okay! I don’t like you. I love Ashley.” Once again I jerked myself away from him and wiped away the tears.

“But Ashley’s gone; you can’t have him.” His voice was surprisingly calm but he refused to look at my face.  It was as though he desired for me to like him and that was something I had to question.

I took a few deep breaths. “What did you expect Jay? Yeah, it is true that I liked you but you love Jessica. What am I suppose to do about that?” I bowed my head, covering the embarrassment I deeply felt. I finally admitted the truth to him but not in the way I dreamt about repeatedly.

“I don’t know. I’m confused Taz, you confuse me.” As he muttered, mostly to himself, he used his right index finger to lift my head up, placing it under my chin. I was forced to stare into his beautiful eyes. The very eyes I had desired to look at me the same way I did it.

“Wha ––” I was unable to finish my sentence as his lips touched mine, softly at first. I was frozen to the spot as I felt the tingle on my lips. I know I shouldn’t have but as the initial shock floated away, my senses floated away with the wind too. I closed my eyes and reacted to the kiss, moving along with his lips. His hands found their way to my hips, where he pulled me further towards him as mine clasped around his neck. I was feeling the sensation of the moment, where everything drifted away from my thought, everything but the kiss. It was way too soon when he pulled away, an expression of guilt and sorrow.