Agony (Sequel to Hunger)

Chapter Nineteen

A/N: It's okay, I hate me too. 

:)

Stiles

At the sound of Derek's voice, my heart literally sped up. It wasn't that I didn't want to see him, it was just that I wasn't expecting him to follow me. I had literally just been thinking how bad it would look if Derek saw me talking to Malia, especially after I said I wanted to be left alone. This wasn't good. "Derek, what are you doing here?" I asked. Ben was tugging on my fingers, and I knew he wanted to go see Derek, but he didn't know if it would be okay. I looked down at him and sighed. "Ben, go check on grandpa."

"But I wanna see-"

"Ben," I said a little louder. He nodded and looked down at his feet. "I just need to talk to him first, okay? I'll come get you soon." Ben nodded a second time before turning around and ambling back inside. I felt bad because he hadn't seen me much, and when I did get here, I made him go away. I just needed to talk to Derek, make him understand what was going on. 

"Stiles, I followed you because I wanted to make sure someone didn't try to kill you. I was keeping my distance because I knew you wanted to be alone. This," he said, gesturing to Malia. "This isn't alone."

I rolled my eyes, but Malia answered before I could. "Derek, there's nothing going on here," she assured him. "I can still be friends with my ex boyfriend. And besides, the only reason we're even at the same place right now is because his dad asked me to take care of Ben while he was in the hospital. He didn't want to call you guys and bother you."

Derek shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Is your dad okay?" he mumbled, suddenly embarrassed. I understood why he was getting jealous though. I wasn't mad. This did look bad. 

"He's fine," I said, stepping closer to him. "Look, Derek. I'm sorry I ran off like that, but I needed to just be alone for a day or two. I was going to come back. I didn't just come here to talk to Malia. I wanted to see my dad, and Ben. After everything that has happened to us, I needed something normal for a few days." I tried to reach for his hand, but he pulled it away before I could take it and crossed his arms. I scoffed and took a step away. "You're seriously going to act like that? Like you're the one who gets to be angry?"

"Stiles, I'm not-"

"Maybe you should go," I muttered, looking down at my feet. "I'll see you in a couple days anyways." It wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to go back, but I also didn't want to end things with Derek. Going back to the war was my only chance at being with him until the end. I had to go back, even if it wasn't what I wanted. 

"So what you're saying is you need a break from me?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow. "If that's it, then maybe you shouldn't come back. You should stay here, with your family. It's where you're safe, anyways." He refused to look at me, but I could see the wetness in the corner of his eyes. He was trying not to cry. 

"That's not what I said, Derek. I'm coming back to help. As long as you're with me, I am safe. And yeah, I have family here, but I also have family there too. You and Kara, and everyone else. You're all my family and you need my help." It was freezing outside and I had a small jacket, having been nice enough to give Derek's old one to Colin when he was cold and naked. I just wanted to go back inside. I wanted Ben to be able to hug Derek and see that we were happy together. We were both supposed to be his dads, but with the way this conversation was headed, it looked like I'd be a single parent.