Hey guys! This this is part 3 and finale of the 'Behind Your Back' mini-series. Hope you enjoy!❤
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It felt like it took forever for you to get over Newt.
It felt like walking on shards of glass in the dark. You had no idea if you were even moving forward at all, while still hurting with glass piercing your bare feet. You had no clue which way to go or where exactly you were. You had no idea if the next step meant stepping on another broken and sharp piece of glass or not. However, you kept walking and walking - sometimes, running recklessly - all for the hope that the next step meant no more pain or darkness.
Those were the first few days, weeks and months. Every time you saw Newt, it felt like another agonizing step in the darkness. He was hurting you and when you cried through sleepless nights you didn't know if the next days even had the chance to get better. Thoughts of him would fill your mind with darkness.
But then, almost as if out of nowhere, came the light.
Slowly, you began to find your way and you saw those shards of glass. Sometimes, you'd still find yourself getting hurt but that's when you realized it was because you let them. You could see the shards of glass beneath your feet, and you still walked through them. You still let them pierce your feet in your every step.
You came to the sad conclusion that all this time, the darkness that clouded you - it wasn't from Newt. You were simply just denying it all this time because you knew that it was from you. You knew he didn't even mean to hurt you, maybe Moira did, but not Newt. Yet, it still hurt you. Each and every day that you saw him - because you let him hurt you. You wanted him to hurt you because you absolutely felt like you deserved that.
You were never angry at Newt, you were angry at yourself. You were so cross with yourself because you believed that you were the most pathetic human being in the world who could lose someone like Newt and you bargained with yourself a deal: that you deserved all this pain and suffering because you were such a terrible person. That you wanted to endure all the suffering because you believed that it had your name on it.
However, like you said during the many months ago that you broke up with Newt, 'People fall in love or they think they do and then they really do. It happens.' Back then, you knew that when you said it you were mostly trying to say it to yourself to believe it. But now? You've come to accept that. You may have been in love with Newt, and maybe he was with you for a while but it wasn't like that anymore. Newt didn't love you, he loved Moira. You said you were okay with it before even when you weren't but now you've accepted that.
Newt didn't love you. It was sad to admit it but strangely, it felt liberating as well. You finally felt ready to let go of this hurt that so unnecessarily tied itself around the thought of Newt because you realize that Newt only hurt you because of you. You sprinkled those shards of glass beneath your feet and now it was time to not let them hurt you even when you saw it. To not let Newt hurt you anymore.
It was like the sun started to shine brighter when you finally came to accept that. It was a slow, tiring journey but now, every time you saw Newt, you realized that you smiled when you saw him happy. You cared about the boy, and that would never ever change. So to see him happy, even when that happiness didn't come from you, made you happy too.
When Newt caught your eyes for the first time in months, there was the familiar flash of worry as if he'd been caught doing something illegal but then you sent him a smile. He seemed shocked at first as Moira was talking with him in the gardens, but he smiled back at you and everything changed since then.
It was like everything finally started getting back to normal.
You found yourself smiling more and spending much better days next to your best friends. Teresa stopped giving you concerned looks and finally got back to treating you with snarky comments and doing silly things in the Med-hut when no one needed tending to (okay, even if someone needed tending to). Thomas would be less quiet now. He was kind of keeping his distance since he was still close with Newt and you and he just didn't want to make it anymore awkward, especially since it affected your other friends too - but now, everything and everyone was getting back together. Newt would join you and the other at the table during dinners whenever he could, without Moira. It was happening a lot more often recently which was nice. It was like the whole team was okay.
Moira even stopped dangling Newt in front of you, which certainly helped even if it mostly didn't affect you anymore. Thomas said Newt got really mad at Moira when he finally realized what she was up to but Teresa swears it was only because Moira knew it didn't drive you nuts anymore. You honestly felt bad for her because she seemed to get such joy from making someone miserable. You liked to avoid her, really, not because she was with Newt but because of the type of person she was. So you were thankful that she stopped, because avoiding her became a lot easier when she stopped setting out to attack you every day.
One thing you were super thankful for though? Minho.
After that night he had confessed to being in love with you, you were honestly really, really nervous that even if you tried for it not to be weird - it would just eventually be very weird and very awkward. It drove you nuts all day while you waited for him to come back from running in the Maze the next morning. However, the moment he called into the Med-hut for you and Teresa, cracking up a sassy joke while wearing a big grin on his face - it was like nothing had changed between you two. If not, it had even gotten better.
You couldn't deny that another reason why you never lost hope from the suffering you had in the first few months was because of Minho. He kept you smiling and laughing even during the darkest nights in the Glade. He was always there for you and picking you up and reminding you that everything was okay - or at least, it was going to be. And as the days went on, the more you believed his words. He was your best friend alongside Teresa, he always was and he always will be.
However, even though you'd never admit it openly to anyone except for Teresa, you were starting to develop certain feelings for Minho. At first you, you were scared that it was because you just missed a relationship and you didn't want to hurt Minho if that was the case. However, it slowly proved to be more than that. You knew the feelings were true when you realized just how much Minho cared about you and treated you with such respect, and how you wanted to do the same for him.
Minho never flirted with you or made you uncomfortable even though you knew he was in love with you. You could see that he was sometimes, but you could tell he was holding back out of respect for you. He wouldn't hold your hand or embrace you, if something, he was more careful with touching you since then and honestly, that sent butterflies to your tummy.
It was a little weird. Didn't people get that gushing feeling when someone would say something sweet or hold them a certain way? Minho was doing the exact opposite but since you knew the reason why, it never failed to tie your stomach into knots and cause a deep blush to reach your cheeks.
So yes, you were falling for Minho. You could deny it when you spoke, but never when you thought. You tried not to let it affect you, but it was hard. You'd have to commend Minho for being able to do it. Lately, you would find yourself stuttering whenever he caught you off guard, become anxious when you remembered he was in the maze, started reaching for his hand when you sat next to each other at dinner, and walked together - just the two of you - around the Glade at night and talked for hours.
Teresa would bug you about telling him. She knew you were in love before you even did and she teased you endlessly about it, especially during the nights of the Bonfire: like right now.
"Y/N, come on. You've been waiting long enough, just tell Minho you're head over heels for him already!" she practically yelled.
You got on your knees from sitting on the balls of your feet, clasping a hand over Teresa's mouth quickly, "Slim it, T'res! He might hear you!"
She gave you a sarcastic look and when you released your hand on her mouth she said flatly, "Well, that's kind of the point, darling."
You rolled your eyes at your best friend and sat back down, taking another gulp from the glass of moonshine you held in your hands. You felt the burning sensation in your throat and cleared it before talking, "You tell Thomas, I tell Minho."
Teresa groaned, "You are so difficult." and all you could do was grin at her, feeling victorious in shutting your friend up. As if on cue, Minho and Thomas pops up with sticks of food in their hands.
"Sorry we took a while, Chuck held up the line by eating everything Frypan just cooked up." Thomas groaned, as he sat down next to Teresa, resting his back on the log behind them as he handed her a stick.
"But at least we got this shank to sit down with us for a while." Minho says, clasping a hand over Newt's shoulder - who popped up behind the Asian.
"Hope you don't mind if I join ya." Newt chirps as Minho sits down close next to you, handing you a piece of meat.
Teresa swallowed the food she had in her mouth, "So long as you don't have that snake of a girlfriend with you." she says sharply.
"T'res!" you, Minho and Thomas scold and she just looks at all of you with wide eyes for a second before rolling them and biting off another piece of meat from the stick she held.
"Uh, well," Newt started awkwardly as he sat down next to Minho, "Moira's not feeling too well so she's just stuck in her hut. I'll get some food for her on the way back but I'd like to just buggin' chill for a second, you know?"
You didn't notice a look Thomas shared with Minho as you told Newt, "Oh no, I hope she feels better, but I'm glad you could join us."
Newt nodded at you with a smile then, averted his eyes immediately. You were a little shocked by this, if you were honest, ti kind of felt like he was the one avoiding you now but you didn't want to think about it.
Minho seemed to notice though so he quickly cleared his throat, "How's about we just shucking drink and have fun, tonight shanks?! No problems, no worries, no maze talks, no nothin'!" He raised his already three-fourths empty glass of moonshine, "Cheers to us, shuck-faces!!"
The whole group livened up with him, all raising their glasses as well and smiling at each other and cheering in unison, "Shuck-faces!!" before bumping the glasses together and each chugging down whatever was left of each glass.
-----
"Hey, I gotta go, just wanna check if Moira's okay." Newt suddenly called, getting up from where he sat after spending about an hour and a half of chatting and playing tricks and games with the squad.
Teresa pointed a finger at him, "Leave that shank alone, bet she's just shu-"
Thomas quickly clasp a hand over her mouth firmly with the arm that draped around her shoulder, "Yeah, go ahead, man!" he calls as Teresa wiggled underneath his grasp.
You and Minho shared a knowing look as you looked at your two friends and giggled. You looked up at Newt, who was apparently looking down at you. His eyes widened when you caught his stare and you sent him a smile before he looked away. Concern filled your being all of the sudden and you just had to ask, "Hey, are you okay?"
Newt turned back to you, rubbing the back of his neck and nodding, "Yeah, sorry, just a little worried about her."
You nodded with a smile, "Don't forget to get her some food then." you smile.
Newt nods, "I won't. Thanks." then he waves and starts walking away. He could hear the eruption of laughter when Teresa apparently licked Thomas' hand to get him off of her and Newt couldn't help but chuckle. He made his way to where Frypan left the last bits of food for anyone to take.
He couldn't help but think of how you had asked him if he was alright. After all this time, it blew his mind that the one person who knew if something was wrong with him or not was still you. Thinking about it made his chest tighten.
If Newt was honest, he really missed you. He was happy that he finally got to spend more time with you but it never felt like it was enough and if he were honest, just earlier, as he watched you sit next to Minho, share food with him, brushed fingers with him, run around with him, and just be with him - he could swear his blood started to boil in his veins.
It was always like that whenever he saw you with Minho. He didn't understand why. He left you yet he couldn't stand it when he saw you with someone else.He shouldn't be angry, he should be happy that you had someone.
He realized he had just been standing there, deep in thought and spacing out about you again. He shook the though out of his head quickly, letting out a deep sigh. Lately, especially ever since he got really mad at Moira for making you so upset by flaunting their relationship, all he could think about was you. Even when he was with Moira, he thought of you. He really tried not to, but he couldn't help it - you would always slither back into his mind these past few days.
He grabbed two sticks of food as he had to pull himself from his thoughts again, before he could make it to Moira's hut, a hand clasp onto his shoulder. He quickly turned to see Thomas looking at him. Newt cocked up an eyebrow at his friend.
"Hey, uh, I really don't want to be the person to tell you this but I'm tired of just watching you so blind about this." his friend said, a sad and almost guilty expression on his face.
"What do you bloody mean?" Newt asks, he could feel his grip tighten around the sticks he held.
Thomas looked to the fire that burned in the distance, his lips tightening to a line as he shifted his weight. "I-I don't know if you know about the rumours surrounding your... well, your girlfriend."
A frustrated sigh leaves Newt as he rolls his eyes. Yes. He knew about the rumours. There were rumours going around that Moira had been fooling around the Glade. He didn't believe it. He just knew it wasn't possible because he was with her most of the time, so if she was doing anything he would know. Plus, she always told him what he was up to if she wasn't with him and he trusted her with that. He looked at his friend dead in the eyes and said sternly, "Those. Aren't. True."
Thomas bit his bottom lip, looking up at the sky and shifting his weight once more, "Look, I wish they weren't okay? But-"
"Tommy, if you're just going to waste my time I suggest you go back to Y/N and the others." Newt simply says and starts to walk past his friend, not wanting to hurt him in any way.
Thomas didn't even try to stop him, but he spun around to watch him leave and before he got any further away he called out to him, "She tried to get to me just last night!" He didn't move and Newt stopped in his tracks and he watched the blonde's shoulders rise and fall in heavy breaths."She threw herself onto me while you were sleeping. I physically had to throw her off... Newt... I don't want you getting hurt." Thomas adds.
Newt's head turned to him slightly, but then quickly snapped back and he started walking again, leaving his friend behind. He didn't want to believe Thomas but he knew that he wasn't lying. Thomas would never lie to him. Not Tommy.
His feet felt like bricks as he started to approach Moira's hut. He started to doubt ever single moment that she told him what she was up to. What if, all those times, she really was out fooling around with the other Gladers? He didn't want to think of his girlfriend in that light but did that mean Thomas had lied to him? That just wasn't possible. But what if when he opened this door, there Moira was, lying asleep on her bed because she indeed was ill?
Newt stopped in front of her door, gripping the sticks of food in his hands tightly. There was only one way to find out. He swung the door open quickly and stepped inside.
The pieces of food immediately drop to the floor as Newt's eyes fell on Moira, indeed asleep on her bed - but next to Jack, a builder. They were tangled in the sheets and from the looks of their bare skin glistening int he pale moonlight and the atmosphere that lingered in the room, Newt could correctly assume what happened.
"What the bloody hell?!" he yells. It was enough to wake the two naked forms up. Both of their eyes went wide, sitting up.
"Newt! You're not supposed to be back here!" Moira chirps, quickly gathering the sheets to cover herself up as if he's never seen her naked for before.
He ignored her and his head snaps to Jack, "Get. The shuck. Out." he growls, glaring at the boy.
Jack only looked at him smugly, not moving from where he was, "So you finally found out? Took you long enough, shank."
Newt glares at him even more, "Jack, if you don't bloody get out of here right now I am going to throw you into the shucking slammer for a week without food."
Jacks'e eyes widened at the threat from the Second-In-Command, then he gets up glaring at him. He puts on his pants swiftly and gathers the rest of his clothes, as he walked past Newt he mutters just enough for him to hear before walking out of the door, "Serves you right for breaking Y/N's heart, though."
Newt's head snaps to his direction, fighting the will to tackle Jack. Instead, he slams the door shut so hard it shook the hut. Just that moment, Moira seemed to drop her whole wide-eyed-innocent-girlfriend act.
Moira got up from the bed and made her way towards Newt, who was fuming. "Are you going to put me in the slammer too, hm?" she purrs as she presses her body wrapped in thin sheets against him as she whispers into his ear seductively, "Or are you going to punish me yourself?"
Newt immediately grabs her sides causing a smirk from her but much to her surprise he pushes her off of him, not making any advancements towards her as she stumbled backwards into her bed. Moira glares at Newt, "Huh, so you really are mad now?!"
Newt doesn't respond to her, trying to calm himself down and not punch her in the face. Moira was quickly putting her clothes back on, once they finally were, she sits on the edge of the bed, crossing her arms and legs. Her voice laced with poison as she spoke, "You know I never loved you and maybe you did for a while, but I don't give a klunk even if you did. I needed you, that's all."
He still doesn't respond, just breathes heavily but he turns to watch her as she spoke. She was smirking at him, "You see, I figured, if I dated the leader of this place, it would be a lot easier to get away with anything, or should I say, anyone?" she giggles, "There was no going anywhere with the shuck-face Alby, but luckily there was you. The handsome, good-natured, sexually frustrated Second-In-Command with the sexy accent. I loved it when you moaned my name, got pretty tired of when you accidentally called out for hers, though."
"But hey, at least it was so easy blind-siding you with all of this. You were so trusting to me, believing every words that came from my little lips. You see, by dating you, I could get anyone. Because if one of them wanted to reveal my little secret, I'd just have to remind them who my boyfriend was and how much trouble they could get into when I framed them." she reveals, "So, thank you really, Newt for being so shucking oblivious to this all, I couldn't have done anyone without you. It rally helped that you ex-girlfriend Y/N was such a baby about me stealing you away t-"
"Don't shucking talk about her like that!!!!!" Newt suddenly screams, threateningly taking steps closer to her.
Moira's green eyes go wide as she found herself backing up from where she sat. Her eyes watched Newt breathe heavily with a deadly glare focused on her. Her lips started to form a small smirk again, "Unbelievable." she breathes, "You love her. You still shucking love her."
Newt's angry eyes softened then, and he suddenly couldn't look at Moira. Hearing it out loud, from someone else, felt like daggers diving into his chest. She was right though, Newt was still in love with you. He probably never fell out of love with you - he just suddenly got distracted and then kept denying that he was.
"Pathetic." she mutters under her breath then scoffed at him, "You know, she's never going to love you back. Not after what you did."
"Shut up." he mutters.
"You seriously think she's going to come running back to your arms after you completely crushed her like that?!" Moira asks, her voice rising.
"Bloody shut up, you slinthead!" Newt yells at her and they stare at each other for a while, then he shakes his head as he releases a frustrated sigh and swings the door open, ready to leave.
"Hey!" Moira calls, causing Newt to stop. "You're not going to go tell Alby are you? Cause I could get in a lot of trouble."
He turns his head slightly towards her, looking at her from the corner of his eye, "You can have one of your buggin' boy toys tell him yourself, because that blackmail you use on them won't work anymore. It's over. I'm breaking up with you and I hope I never bloody see you again."
With that, Newt quickly leaves Moira to sit alone on her bed, her mind running wild with how her whole plan was now falling into pieces, as he rushes back to the bonfire with only one thought in mind: to find you and tell you how much he has always loved you.
-----
The night had been going so well. You were having the most fun you've ever had at a bonfire for as long as you could remember. It probably had to do a little bit with the amount of moonshine you drank to loosen you up, you weren't anywhere near out of your mind, but you were definitely more awake and relaxed and ready to have a good time.
You had all shared the craziest maze and med-hut stories, it was always funny how the med-hut would sometimes be more eventful than the maze. You even played a bunch of silly game that involved running around the bonfire or playing pranks on the other Gladers. You had personally had a race with Teresa, which you won; see who could chug moonshine faster against Thomas, which you almost won; and had a no-laughing contest against minho, which you lost by a landslide.
Now, the bonfire didn't show any signs of dying down. Music surrounded the Glade as the Gladers played a nice beat. Lots of people were dancing around and before you even realized it, you found yourself to be once of them as Minho dragged you with him.
You were dancing with him for who knows how long but as you did, as your bodies touched and grazed against each other every now and then, all you could think of was him and how much your feelings were growing for him.
Minho was a wonderful dancer but that wasn't what was bringing the redness to your cheeks. You couldn't help that your thoughts were consumed by him as you danced with him. Minho loved you. He said it himself and lately, that thought had been haunting you the past few days as you asked yourself: do you really truly love him?
You didn't even realize how close you were dancing to him by now, so lost in your thoughts. You knew that you genuinely cared about him, always have and always will. And you knew that he always cared about you - only you. Minho wasn't exactly someone to be close with a lot of people, and he was definitely always there for you - no matter what. Plus, he waited. He never advanced towards you and made you feel uncomfortable, he was so patient and respectful of you, always. He didn't pressure you to love him back, it was like he was more than content with just being friends with you and being there for you even if it meant not having you as a girlfriend.
Something suddenly bumped your nose and your eyes traveled up to what it was.
Minho.
He was so close. His nose bumped into yours and you couldn't remember how both of you had gotten so close. Both of your bodies were swaying slowly to the upbeat music, lost in your own world as you stared at each others' eyes. Almost like an unstoppable gravitational pull, all of the sudden, Minho closes the small gap between your lips and his.
Both of your eyes flutter close and bodies still as Minho's lips press softly against yours and it was like the world grew silent. Slowly, both of you pull apart, exhaling as your eyes found themselves back to each other.
Minhos' suddenly grows wide as his body tenses, "O-oh, h-holy shuck." he breathes out, stepping backward with his hands up in defense. The Glade really was silent, all eyes on the both of you. "Holy shuck, I'm so sorry. I'm so shucking sorry. Shuck, I'm such a shuck-faced shuck. I-I didn't mean to and oh my shuck, I- I'm so so-"
You step closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you bite down on your bottom lip as you looked up at his eyes then his lips for a second then back to his eyes, "Don't be." you whisper.
Minho stares down at you for a moment in shock, his mind quickly putting together what those two little words that escape your lips really meant. His hands slowly move to hold your waist gently, "A-are you sure? Y/N I told you. I can wait." You chuckle as he speaks, "I can wait for you, I don't shucking care how lo-"
You crash your lips onto his, interrupting him. Minho's eyes went wide in shock as you kissed him, but then, he understands and his eyes flutter close like yours as he quickly wraps his arms around you pulling you closer and deepening the kiss.
Gladers all around interrupt in cheers and the beating of the music comes back on. You feel one of Minho's arms unwrap from you as the other held onto you strongly, he pumps his hand into the air victoriously and the cheers get louder. You smile into your kiss with Minho as he ends up grinning too and you pull back, allowing yourself to laugh out loud as you look deep into his dark, joyous eyes.
He grins down at you and you could just feel the happiness radiating off of his body. He embraces you tightly, pulling your blushing face into his chest. The both of you can't stop smiling from ear to ear at all.
Teresa watched from the distance, a grin of her own forming on her lips as she watched two of her best friends finally happy. "You go girl!" She cheers for the both of you, getting a laugh from you and Minho towards her direction as she leans back on the log she sat on. "Fina-shucking-lly." she breathes out with a smile as she then lets her eyes travel around the Gladers who were also very happy to see them get together. Teresa's smile only fades from her lips when her eyes fall on a familiar blonde head of hair amongst the crowd.
It was Newt. She watched as he was the only one not smiling or cheering or moving at all.
He was standing completely still, with his defeated expression being illuminated by the blazing fire in front of him. His lips were slightly parted and trembled while his eyebrows furrowed together. His chest rose and fell unevenly with his hands balled into shaking fists at his sides as if he was stopping himself from bursting into sobs. Tears welled in his eyes as he watched the Keeper of the runners and the first girl of the Glade dance happily in each others' arms. He had seen everything.
Suddenly, Newt catches the stare Teresa and he slowly turns his head towards her.
She couldn't help but frown as she watched tears roll down the Second-In-Comman's cheeks, with the look in his face showing the heartbreaking truth he had to accept:
He was too late.
