***Warnings: Mentions of depression, suicide, cutting, and fluff. Feel free to skip this imagine***
Wc: 861
Enjoy💕
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You slid it through your skin again, creating another red mark. You but your bottom lip through the pain while you did so. When blood began to slide down you stopped.
You wiped the small blade clean and put it back in your drawer and cleaned up your arm. You looked at the other small cuts that were there too, thinking how far this could go. Suddenly your best friend, Newt climbed through the window, "am I late?"
You nodded your head yes and showed him the cut. His face saddened immediately, "oh, Y/N." He sighed as he walked up to you and sat on your bed. He grabbed your arm and brushed his thumb over the recent one. "Baby no." He whispered so that you wouldn't here him.
You hang your head in shame.
You and Newt have been best friends since you were babies. You two were inseparable and the fact that you two were completely and utterly in love with each other, but were too stubborn to say a thing!
Recently you haven't been feeling well. It felt like your world was falling apart. Your parents were fighting, and you were beginning to think it was because of you. Every time they fought, they blamed you, your existence. Times were happier before all this. You tried to brush it off, but you just couldn't. It led to this. You crying every night, feeling extremely lonely, cutting yourself, etc. It was a mess. You began to feel like you were so useless and that death was your only other option. You had been thinking about it, but never had the guts too. Newt always told you that if you did that he would too, so you didn't even bother. Cutting away the pain would have to do for now.
That night you and Newt talked about what happened, and he sat there listening you. He looked at you thinking how he could just kiss away all your pain and make it go to him instead. His eyes switched from yours to your lips, just...wishing.
After an hour of talking, Newt brought you into one of his bear hugs. That always made you feel better and gave you the slightest confidence that things would get better. When he was done he kissed your temple, "I love you." He whispered after.
"What?" You say pulling away from the hug a small little smile on your face.
"N-nothing." He stuttered.
"Okay." Your smile weakens.
Then he gets up and leaves.
•••••
The next day after school you came back home to your parents fighting again, your name and more profanity coming out of those ridiculous mouths of theirs. Then suddenly it was like you lost it. If they hated you so much, then maybe it was best if you were dead. Out of the way and out of their lives. You stomped into the garage and found a rope and took it into your room. The 'rents to busy fighting to notice. You wrote down a note, saying that as soon as you died, they'd probably cry and act like they gave hoot about you, when they really probably wanted you dead in the first place. Then confessed your love for Newt and sealed it in an envelope, and left it on your desk.
You got the rope ready and were about to wrap it around your neck when Newt burst through the window "Y/N!" He shouted at you.
He walked up to you and stopped you. He undid everything and pulled you into a hug, "don't do this!" He cried into your neck.
"W-why?" You cry back into his chest, "my parents want this, it's fucking obvious!"
"Yeah but it's not what I want." He sniffled as he pulled away. "D-don't you care about me?"
You nod.
"T-then why do you insist on hurting me like this, love? Don't you see that I love you? That I care about you?" He searched your eyes.
You look at him with big eyes, "I-It's just..." You couldn't even think of a good reason for ending your life.
Newt cups your face, "I know you better than they do, and I won't let you do this, baby. I won't." He said before pressing his lips to yours.
You immediately melt into the kiss and Newt pulls you closer and gives you a big hug, "this is the last night, okay?"
You simply nod and give him a hug too. Maybe things would get better.
••••••••••
Note: I'ma be honest...I only read the lyrics, but it was still cool to write (and please don't take this the wrong way). I actually did know a girl who killed herself and I kinda went through this myself (I'm okay now), so I know what it feels like. But to anyone who's going through this, it does get better! There is someone listening (yes even God). Please just please talk to someone! You are good enough, you are so much more than that! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
