The Bad Boy Calls Me Love

Bonus Ryder's POV #2

It's been two whole months since me and Clarity last talked.

And trust me, I have tried to talk to her. But she's ignoring me. And I really don't blame her. I hurt her. But I can promise you that I didn't mean to hurt her.

I'm just scared. I'm scared of falling in love with her. I am most definitely falling for her. And now, she hates me. I screwed everything up. I screwed up every little tiny thing I had with her. And now she hates me.

"I hate you Ryder Alexander Chance."

Once those words escaped her beautiful, soft, pink, full lips, my heart sank. My mouth became dry and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak either, I was too hurt.

And this mind blowing to me. Because I have never been hurt by words before. By judgement. Especially from a girl. A girl like Clarity to be exact.

She's been ignoring me for so long. And it's both physically and emotionally hurting me. My eyes have dark bags under them. My whole body is completely pale, as if I had seen a ghost. My heart is swelling from hurt. And overall, I look, and feel, empty.

I need to talk to her again. I need to hold her again. It's been so long without her. She was the only one I could trust, really.

I can't even trust Drew, my bestfriend. Clarity doesn't know him, of course, but I wish she had. I was going to introduce the two, because I had talked so much about her to him and he wanted to meet her. But I screwed everything up, and now she hates me.

I need her back into my life, I really, really do. I have never cared so much about what other people thought, I only care what she thinks of me. I only care about her.

She is so beautiful. Her eyes light up everytime she sees me, and that's when I realized she was actually falling for me. I can't believe she confessed to me.

Looking back, I realized how much she actually did fall for me. And how much I fell for her.

I never thought I would end my player ways, all because of a girl. And especially since that girl is Clarity.

But she doesn't see that. She doesn't see that I did change my player ways for her. She changed me. And I never thought she would.

And yes, I will admit, I was going to use her at first, but now.. it's completely different. She made me interested in her. Not only because she was the only one not throwing herself at me and actually rejected me all this time, but because she is so different from the rest. And she is way more beautiful. She's completely perfect.

She's no good for me, though. I'm a Bad Boy. I have a shit of a life. I have a terrible past, that only Clarity knows.

And she's the Good Girl. The most sweetest, hospitality girl I know. She never gives up. She is so fucking stubborn for her own good, but I admire that. I admire her so much.

It breaks my heart to know she now hates me. She hates my guts, and now, it's been two months and she still refuses to talk to me. That girl is so stubborn.

But again, I can't blame her for hating me now. I broke her heart. I hurt her and shattered her. And now, she's shattering me. Making me feel exactly what she felt, and goddamn it, I wish I never said something so stupid.

I wish I didn't push her away like I do to everyone else. I shouldn't have pushed her away. She was all I had. She is all I have.

I will never forgive myself for letting the only good thing coming to me go.

And I know she won't either.

"Hey, dude, you okay? You've been a little off lately," Drew asks.