ALWAYS {A Ryden MPreg}--House Of Memories: Book Two (Wattys 2016)

I'm Not Okay...

Brendon was getting a bit anxious. He kept checking his phone, desperate to hear from Ryan, who had been gone for weeks.
Gerard was snoozing on the beanbag. Brendon was amazed at just how supportive Gerard has been through all of this. Brendon was so thankful to have such an amazing friend. Brendon smiled, thinking back to the first time he and Gerard had met. 

Brendon had been the new kid at school, and as soon as he arrived, there seemed to have been an invisible "kick me" sign permanently taped to his back. He was singled out as a "faggot," which was only partly true. He was proudly bisexual. On his very first day at school, he got punched in the face. He got beaten up nearly every day, but never did anything to stop it. On one particularly violent occasion, a whole group of guys had cornered him, talking about how he was going "on a date with his faggot boyfriend" and how they "were gonna give him a makeover in black and blue." They ended up breaking one of his ribs. All of a sudden, the crowd left. Brendon had looked up to see Gerard standing there with this cocky-ass grin on his face. They'd been friends ever since.

"How long have you been staring at me?" Gerard asked, waving a hand in front of Brendon's face.
"...wha?" Brendon asked.
"You've been staring at me."
"Was I?" Brendon whispered.
"I woke up and you were staring at me. Well, it was more like you were in a trance or something. I actually had to check to make sure you were still breathing. I've never seen you so still before."
"Sorry. I was thinking...about how we first met, actually," Brendon admitted sheepishly. Gerard shuddered at the memory of the boy, bleeding and bruised slumped in the corner. "Oh."
Brendon nodded. "Yeah. When you inducted me as a Killjoy," he added with a smirk. Brendon took out his phone and looked at it.

B: hey, ry, where are you
The response was almost immediate.
RyRo: with my friends
B: please come home
There were a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.
RyRo: why should i
B: please. im scared. i miss you so much. Please please come home
RyRo: I'll be back later.

Gerard sighed. "Ross?" The younger boy nodded.
"Well...um..." Gerard murmured. "Wanna go for a walk with me? You look like you could use some fresh air."
Brendon's face lit up. "There's a park not too far from here!"
"Why don't we all go?" Gerard suggested. Brendon nodded.
"Let me find another shirt. You know...one that actually fits!"
Gerard rolled his eyes. "Good point."
Brendon tried standing up but kept losing his balance. "Could you help me?" he asked, holding his arms straight out in front of him. Gerard grinned and hoisted him to his feet. "Up ya go." Brendon laughed and took a shirt from the dresser.
"This'll do," he said to himself as he put it on.
"C'mon then," Gerard said cheerily. Brendon took a few unsteady steps, then tried to peer around his bulging tummy at his feet.
"Dammit," he whispered, looking for his shoes.
"I'll get them," Gerard chuckled, leaning down and picking up the boy's battered white Converse, which had been right in front of Brendon. The pregnant boy sat back down on the bed and attempted to reach down to put on his shoes. Gerard sighed and slipped the shoes onto Brendon's feet.
"I hate not being able to bend over and get stuff...it makes me feel so fucking helpless!"
Gerard rolled his eyes and helped Brendon to his feet. "Shut up. You know you secretly love it."
Brendon blushed but didn't say anything, because he knew Gerard was right.
"Okay then. Let's go." Gerard said.
"Okay."
Brendon put a steadying hand on each side of his belly as he walked into the living room.
"Do you guys wanna go to the park with us?" Gerard asked. Pete was sitting in the middle of the floor, Mikey sprawled across the sofa.
"Sure!" Pete beamed, standing up. "Damn, Bren..."
The pregnant boy blushed. "I'm huge. Yeah, I know."
Pete shook his head. "That's not what I was going to say, I swear. I was gonna say that you're glowing. I mean, seriously. You are fucking glowing!"
Brendon smiled. "I guess I kinda am."
Mikey rolled his eyes and snickered. "We get it. You're huge and you glow."
"Pretty much," Brendon shrugged in agreement.
"Are you ready?" Gerard asked impatiently.
"I'm ready to goooo," Brendon said with a cheeky grin. Mikey lurched to his feet. Pete ran to the front door, then held it open while the rest of them walked through. Brendon was extremely careful as he descended the stairs, knowing that one wrong move would send him hurtling to the ground. He cleared the stairs with a sigh of relief.
"I swear, Brendon. You make being pregnant look so fucking....easy," Mikey said sarcastically as they crossed the street. Poor Brendon was out of breath. "It's not," he gasped, glaring at Mikey.
"I was joking Bren. Lighten up," Mikey muttered.
"Oh sure. Suuuure, joke about my weight," Brendon pouted.
"I wasn't. Honestly," Mikey said. Brendon sighed. "Sorry. I've just been so on edge without Ryan."
The park came into view, and Brendon broke into a grin. "Ohmigosh they have swiiiings!" he said brightly. Gerard chuckled. "Stop being so fucking cute."
Brendon walked a little bit faster, excited. He then got on the swing.
"Come swing with me!" Brendon shouted, pumping his legs faster. He was laughing like crazy as he got higher and higher. Gerard, Mikey, and Pete settled to sit on a bench and watch. Brendon threw his head back and held his legs straight out, using only his arms to keep him on the swing. The smile slowly fell from his face, and he brought his legs down, dragging himself to a stop.
"Shit...are you okay?" Gerard asked as Brendon practically ran to the nearest tree. The pregnant boy held onto the tree for support as he was violently sick. Gerard walked over and put a hand on Brendon's back as the boy continued throwing up. After a minute or two, the vomiting ceased, and Brendon just stood there for a moment, trying to catch his breath. He allowed his forehead to slump forward so he was leaning against the tree. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

None of them noticed the group of guys approach.
"You don't look very scared," Ryan said softly. Brendon straightened up and ran the back of his hand across his mouth. He had to hold onto Gerard as he walked to Ryan. The pregnant boy started sobbing.
"But I am. I am terrified! Gee thought fresh air would do me some good. Oh, I've missed you," Brendon explained through his tears.
"Hey, Brendon," the voice made Brendon's blood run cold. The pregnant boy wiped his eyes.
"Don't fucking talk to me," Brendon spat, glaring hatefully at Jon. Ryan slapped Brendon across the face. Mikey and Pete put themselves between Ryan and Brendon in a heartbeat. The pregnant boy cradled his wounded cheek.
"Calm down, Ross. You can't blame Brendon for hating Jon's guts." Pete said coolly.
"I'm sorry," Brendon whimpered. Ryan sighed and stepped around the two boys so he could take Brendon's hand in his.
"I'm sorry too. Let's go home," Ryan whispered, taking Brendon by the wrist and practically dragging him.
"I've missed you, Ry," the pregnant boy said, trying to keep up.
"I've missed you too." Ryan sighed, wrapping his arm around Brendon's waist. The younger boy smiled weakly.
"Let's not fight anymore," the pregnant boy whispered as they got to the apartment. Ryan helped Brendon up the stairs.
"I'm sorry I was gone so long...I was being selfish," Ryan said as Brendon walked into the bedroom. "You're here now," the pregnant boy sighed as he kicked his shoes off and hurriedly got undressed. Ryan's eyes went wide when he saw just how big Brendon's belly now was. "When...when did you get so big?"
The younger boy blushed. "While you were away."
"Oh. I...I'm so sorry for staying away for so long," Ryan whispered. "I have to make it up to you somehow."
Brendon sighed. "No really, it's fine."
"Oh I know! How about I take you to dinner?"
Brendon bit his lip. "I...I'm not sure...what kind of dinner? Fancy?" He couldn't contain his enthusiasm at the idea of getting dressed up.
"Sure." Ryan said with a smile.