Damaged Goods. (A Harry Styles Fanic)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Lola’s shuddery breaths and painful cries filled the silence of the room as she stared wide and watery eyed out the window. She gulped hard, feeling her throat constricting, wanting her to let it out and cry. But there was no time for that.

She suddenly scurried for her things, messily shoving them into the bag, leaving little items behind carelessly. She couldn’t even think straight as she tried to gather armfuls of clothes and belongings into her bag, groaning in frustration when they wouldn’t fit.

“Argh!” she cried, her fist pounding the bag. Panic shot through her veins and she pictured Harry’s footsteps getting further and further away as he walked away. She needed him, she needed to be close to him. She felt insecure and unsafe without him.

Lola knew there were several material items she’d left behind but right now she didn’t care. She threw the bag over shoulder, the heaviness of it swinging into her thigh. She grasped her coat, and a few more stray pieces of clothing, balling them up and scrunching them into the pockets and bag.

She scrambled for the door, her shoulders aching from the weight of her things. She hurried down the stairs clumsily, but as quick as she could manage not to fall. The sound of bumps and stomps caught Alan’s attention, as he slowly wondered into the hallway, seeing his daughter coming down the stairs.

“Lola?”

He was about to make a joke when he noticed tear stains in her cheeks, her crystal blue eyes full of sorrow and worry. She tried to hide it but when she saw the patronising look on his face, she slumped to the bottom step and bought her hands up to cover up face.

“He’s gone” she shook, using the bottom of her palm to catch her hot salty tears.

“Who? Harry? Gone where?” Alan queried, showing no attempt to comfort his daughter as he stood besides the stairs.

“Gone! He’s left. Without me”

“So, what, you’re going after him?! He doesn’t seem worth it to me, well considering he’s done that”

“Well I have no choice do I?!” Lola exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air for emphasis. She stood up and recollected her bags, sniffing and wiping her eyes.

“How so?” Alan asked, as if he really couldn’t see the point in going after Harry. Like he didn’t understand that Harry was worth the chase for Lola.

“Because…well, don’t think this is something you can relate to..” Lola said bitterly “But sometimes there’s things in life you can’t let go of….even if it’s for the best”

Alan understood what she was referring to, feeling guilty as he realised Lola would never really get over him walking out on her. Yet he couldn’t deny that she was right, if Lola hadn’t come knocking at his door again, he wouldn’t have tried to find her. He’d let go a long time ago.

Lola sucked in her breath “I need to go”

“I see” Alan nodded, his arms folded across his chest. Lola couldn’t help feel hurt at the lack of protest from him, or lack of affection and comfort towards her. Not even initiating a hug goodbye “I…..I’ll call. Yeah?”

Lola shut her eyes, remembering the desire for a perfect father she wanted before. Spending so much time wishing, and thinking about him. All through her childhood and early adolescent years. But now she was here, with him, finally after so long. And she was about to drop a bomb on those previous fantasises.

“No, you probably won’t. And I don’t blame you, since i’m not willing to stay now. But I thought me and Jake needed someone, yet I don’t know who you are at all”