Just a Game

You Failed Us

Jace // chapter fourteen

T H E loud noise of a lunch tray smacking against the lunch table caught my attention, making me whip my head up to catch Tanya's obscure expression.

"Tanya, hey," I cleared my thick throat, pushing all the heavy emotions away from my focus. My eyes watched her as she sat in the seat next to mine, swinging her arm over my shoulder. Thing is, I wasn't paying attention; my mind was elsewhere. I felt her long nails trailing through my hair in a soft motion and I moved away from her as if she'd bitten me.

She frowned. "What's wrong with you?"

Not knowing how to respond, I took a large gulp from my water and turned to glance at her. "Nothing's wrong with me, Tanya. What do you want?"

"What do you mean what do I want?" she gasped, almost surprised I didn't know what the hell she was going on about. To be honest, I stopped listening before she started talking.

I looked at her with indifference. "It means just that. It's pretty self-explanatory."

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her bright peach top. Why is it so bright? It was honestly hurting my eyes.

"I want you, Jace," she sighed loudly, leaning in closer that I'd like. "I always want you, why don't you get that?"

In my head, I jumped thirty feet back from where I sat, because what the hell did she just say? I could feel my eyes widening, my mouth drying in distaste. "Tanya, do you know what you're saying?"

She nodded quickly, surely not seeing what was wrong with our current situation.

My anger flared as I fought to keep it in line and myself in control. "You broke up with me three times in one week before you dumped my ass for the last time in a full crowd movie theater in the middle of the fucking movie. I'm sorry if I'm not jumping at the chance of screwing you when you humiliated me in front of the whole damn town," I hissed loud enough for only her to hear.

Here's the thing I hate the most, her tears. I could see them welling up in her big hazel eyes that I'd once loved and I felt my control waning. Her lips quivered. "You know I didn't mean anything that happened."

I swallowed hard because I knew what was coming next. I knew what she was going to say. And I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't no feel bad after she speaks. I know I'll feel terrible, completely immoral and useless, especially to my unborn child who was dead because I was careless.

"I lost Adam, Jace," she sobbed quietly, looking at me with such watery eyes that I felt mine water, too, but I pushed that back to where they belonged. "I lost him in that crash and you don't know what it feels like to hold someone inside of you, to love someone so much so that you'd give up your life in one heartbeat if that meant their happiness. I didn't even get to hold him," by now my arms had found their way around her shoulders in a comforting manner and I was trying to calm her, because at the end of the day, what else could I do?

Wiping her tears away, I rose her chin up to meet her eyes. "Whatever happened then is in the past. You need to let it go, or it will destroy you."

She looked as if I'd just slapped her straight across the face. "How dare you tell me to let go of my baby, our baby. He was ours, dammit. He was ours."

I shook my head. "Of course, Adam was our-"

She pushed me away, interrupting me. "You killed him you know."

My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "What kind of an accusation is that? That's low, even for you."

"You were driving when the accident occurred, if you don't remember," she chuckled virulently. "You were supposed to be focused, but you failed at the one job that you had; to protect him. You failed him, Jace. You failed me. You failed us."

I shook my head once more, sharper this time. "I did not kill Adam. That was an accident," I emphasized.

She scoffed. "Who're you trying to convince, me or yourself?"

"How about no one? And how about you leave him the fuck alone?" a voice I knew too well barked. My eyes sharpened in on Alice, who I hadn't seen since yesterday. Her eyes were dark and she looked exhausted.

"And who are you?" Tanya remarked, taking in Alice's full messy posture. Oh, boy.

"A human being and also Alice," she replied with a bittersweet smile before reaching to grab my arm to pull me up. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have somewhere to be."

Confused, Tanya turned to me, questioning me with her excruciating glare. "He's not going anywhere."

Alice let out a loud laugh meant to ridicule Tanya. "And I'm suspecting you're his mother?"

Tanya took a step closer to Alice, her eyes full of threat. "And I'm suspecting you're his side hoe?"

"And this conversation ends now," I stepped in pushing the two farther apart.

"Says who?" Tanya spit, staring at Alice.

"Says me, now," I pushed her back a bit more, giving Alice more room to breathe.

"Go to hell," she muttered bitterly to me before pushing me away, grabbing her purse and walking away from the table in quick steps.

"Well, now that that's taken care of, come on," Alice smiled at me, waving for me to follow her. When I didn't follow, she turned back around and walked back to where I stood. "What's wrong?"

I sighed. "You walked away from me twice, Alice, what do you expect me to do?"

She closed her eyes for a moment and looked to be frustrated before reopening them and looking into my eyes with a plea. "I want to talk to you about what happened yesterday. I need to explain my reaction and why I walked away. Please, just give me five minutes."

I jolted back. "I did give you five minutes. Actually, I gave you almost an hour."

"I know, I know. But just this once, hear me out," she looked around the lunchroom, noticing the few people that were examining us like paparazzi, "I haven't been as open with you as you have been with me and I think if you'd just hear the honest side of what I have to say, you'll understand yesterday."

Crossing my arms, I felt myself starting to agree with her against my own will. God, I'm screwed up. "How do I know you won't do what you did yesterday?"

She took a step closer. "I promise you that if I do, I'll never bother you again."

I could see in her eyes that she was being as honest with me as I'd wished, and so, I agreed, giving her a nod and a small smile. "Fine, alright, I'll go with you."

Instantly, her face brightened and the most vibrant smile lengthened her lips. "Okay, come on."

Still wary about the whole situation, I grabbed my bag and followed the girl who's been confusing the shit out of me since the day I met her, out of school.