"Hello?" Pt. 1

May 23rd 2016

It's short and unedited, but I kinda think it's a funny update. 

Sarah, xx

(Time stamped at 20:58 GMT on May 23rd 2016.)

~*~*~

"Tell me more about how you're bossy in bed."

<<That's a little early in our relationship, Dan.>>

"Um... Jasmine?"

<<Hey, babe! So, you like to talk dirty on the phone, huh?>>

"No!"

<<You so do. Now, you tell me- are you bossy in bed?>>

"Where's Sophie?"

<<Right here. You want to talk to her?>>

"That would be preferable."

<<I'll try not to be offended by that.>>

"You do that."

"Do what?"

"What?"

"Daniel, are you ok?"

"Where'd Jasmine go?"

"She's right here. Did you want to talk to her again?"

"God, no! I'm not that crazy... So, tell me more about how bossy you are in bed."

"Me? Oh, I'm very bossy."

"Really?"

"What can I say, I'm a woman who knows what she wants and how she wants it."

"That's... yeah... um... uh..."

"Speechless, Mr Whitaker?"

"Um, uh... I mean... no?"

"Sure about that?"

"Well, I'm... what are you wearing?"

"Really, back to that? What is wrong with you?"

"I haven't had sex in almost six months. What do you think is wrong with me?!"

"That was a bit of an overshare."

"Not really, you need to know these things."

"I needed to know that you've practically sex starved?"

"Just in case there's some... you know... performance issues."

"Performance issues?"

<<He means in case he can't- >>

"-Finish that sentence, Jasmine, and I swear to God, this time, I will fire you.-"

<<You wouldn't dare. You know you can't live without me.>>

"-Don't count on that.- So, performance issues?"

"Let's not talk about that."

"No, let's."

"No, I'm cool with not discussing it."

"That hardly seems fair. So, you don't want to know what I'm wearing?"

"Sophie, don't. I mean it, don't."

"Having performance issues already?"

"Why do I do this to myself?!"

 "Dare I ask what you're doing to yourself?"

"Putting myself through hell talking to you."

"I take offence at that."

"Mhm."

"That's all you have to say for yourself? 'Mhm'?"

"Please, stop talking."

"What? Why? Daniel-"

"Stop talking, Sophie!"

"Not until you give me a reason to stop talking!"

"Because you're voice is sexy as hell!"

"..."

"..."

"Haha! What?"

"You're voice!"

"What about it?"

"Why are you still talking?"

"Are you ok, Daniel?"

<<He's got a- >>

"-Stop talking, Jasmine!-"

"Will you both stop talking! God, I need to hang up, asap."

"Wait, why?"

"Sophie, look, I'm going to be honest with you, ok?"

"Ok."

"Right now, there's no performance issues."

"What?"

"..."

"Oh!"

"Yeah."

"Haha, that's funny."

"It's really not. And will you stop sniggering."

"Sorry, can't. Oh, sweetie-"

"That's making it worse."

"Yeah... so, uh... you like my voice?"

"Shut up."

"This is gold!"

"Sophie-"

"Stop talking?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

"Thank-"

[Call ended]

"Soph? That's not what I meant! Soph?"