Out-Dated

8.

"Do you want to go out?" Spencer said simply to me as I sat on his living room floor, flipping through the movies he had on dvd.

"Huh?" I spun around to look at him.

"I want to take you out." He said in a dreamy voice, standing behind the counter with his chin resting on his hand. "For a drive or something at least."

"Of course I do, but what if someone sees us-"

Spence walked across the room to desk and carried over the box labeled 'Halloween'. He pulled out the bubblegum-pink wig.

"They won't." He said proudly.

"Disguises?!" I squealed, excited by the adventure.

He smirked and handed me the wig and a pair of Ray-ban sunglasses. He had a matching pair for himself.

"Let's do this." He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the house in a hurry and rushed me out to his car. But not the truck I had seen him drive around in  a thousand times, A sparkling white convertible bmw that sat patiently in his double doored garage.

    "Not bad." I pursed my lips in approval.

    "Get in." He said, opening my door for me.

    I obeyed the command excitedly.

    We drove away from his house, which had been my world for the past month and a half, and onto a gentle curved road that hugged the side of the coast. The vast ocean raced beside us in a perfect blue boundlessness.

     We took an exit and made a stop for milkshakes. We drank them in the car and he offered his cherry to me. I nodded and said "Mhm." With a mouth full of thick, vanilla ice cream. A woman got into her car across from us and we both realized it was Jen, a girl who also worked for my father. We ducked down and Spence splattered ice cream on his steering wheel. I broke out laughing and he covered my mouth with a hand and a grin on his face. As soon as he tried to take it off I giggled again and he kissed me to shut me up.

     The roof was folded back and the breeze blew over the strands of cotton candy pink hair that decorated my head. I held it down and giggled at the challenge. We drove and drove until the sun caught up with us, threatening to take away the perfect sunlight that blanketed us.

     He looked over at me with a vast smile; just as vast as the big blue behind him that framed the whole picture. In that moment I almost stopped smiling. The pit of my stomach felt dense and responsible and I realized it was because I was falling for the person next to me. His bright optimistic smile made me backtrack in my head and realize that I was completely falling for him and everything he was.

    It scared me to pieces for many reasons but mostly because I knew myself. I knew myself to the point of a fault. I knew myself and the way I was and the way I was always going to be. I was selfish and governed by the yearn for fleeting moments of adventure and danger. I was more in love with experiences than people. I immediately felt guilty for my feelings and for allowing him to possibly feel the same.

    I thought I was still smiling until he said. "What's wrong? Something wrong?"

    "No! No. I was just thinking." I apologized for not seeming thrilled by the whole escapade.

  "Ella. Cmon. I know you. What's up?" He insisted, tilting his head as if he was a disapproving parent.

   "You don't know me!" I snapped back, startling both him and I before I realized my reaction sprouted from my frustration with myself but also with other people always trying to master me and pin me down.

   He looked at me confused and slightly hurt.

   "Sorry.. I didn't- that's not what I-" I struggled with my words.

     He pulled the car over to a lonely lookout point, lacking of cars and people. He turned the engine off  as we both stared out at the breathtaking view, both comforted and disturbed by the quiet. The waved crashed below us, allowing us to hear just a whisper of  the sound.

      "What's going on?" He said gently, after a little while.

   I paused.  "I'm just... sad Summer's almost over. It's already July. It's so hot." I rambled, not exactly knowing what I was saying.

    "We can still see each other after it's over. We'll figure it out." He said affirmatively.

   "How? No we won't. Everything ends and we can't help it. We can't stop things from ending." I could just feel myself pushing away. I always did this. Push away before you get hurt. Before you're too vulnerable.

     "Ella." He looked at me as if he was so troubled by my negativity.

    "I'm sorry, but it's the truth" I crossed my arms.

   "If we really wanted to, we would find a way." He said.

    He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer, as close as the space would allow. He pointed to the water.

    "Just be here with me right now." He referred to my mental state of course.  "Just right here, right now." He repeated. "I'll always be here for you ok? I promise. No matter what happens. We'll figure it out."

   The sound of his low, reassuring voice mixed with the vague sound of waves calmed me and I closed my eyes, drifting off into the unsought peace.